I guess I'm just feeling bad for ds.....lately we having been having more and more issues with his rambunctiousness and his "off" behavior driving other kids away.
Granted, he still does have some positive interactions. I babysit for a very laid back, fun kinda crazy homeschooling family and their children seem to more or less roll with the punches regarding ds. They get annoyed from time to time but they don't shun ds or treat him cruelly, they just roll their eyes and tell him to QUIT IT. lol. We also have family friends who have known us for years since before ds was born, and theyir kids are older. They treat ds kind of like a little brother or nephew and tolerate his antics with love. I am deeply grateful for this and I don't mean to minimize it.
But other than that ds has so much trouble with other kids. He is highly intelligent but nothing I say to him seems to sink in. He is getting wilder and wilder and it just makes his odd behaviors and verbal antics that much more apparent. The nieghborhood kids tell him to go away becvause he's weird and makes no sense. SO was so mad about how they treated him but I told him that they are just kids, and there really isn't much that can be done. Ds hates when I interfere in his social interactions. I try to getly suggest, "ds let's all talk about trucks, since that's what C is talking about." Ds will reply "trucks? mucks, lucks ducks, shucks,...."etc and then run off sticking his tongue out and flinging spit everywhere.
I KNOW he's not a "bad" kid. I don't believe that this is a discipline issue. He is getting more and more impulsive and seems to lack any ability to stop himself or control his verbal "stims" I guess. He is dx'd with Asperger's and ADHD. But he also goes from happy to angry in zero seconds flat. He reacts with such force to being challenged and even when he's apparently happy will say with a smile things like "what if I hit you with this stick? Will you bleed? I want to see you bleed and cry and go to the hospital." It's so bizarre. Then 5 seconds later he is jumping all over the same person he directed that at, be it me, SO, or one of his friends, and wanting to play around and be silly.
A couple days ago someone asked me if I thought he was bipolar, because his behavior was so bizarre. I was upset and was telling SO about it and he admitted that he has wondered that too. How could a 3 year old be bipolar?
We are looking into social skills classes for him geared towards kids on the spectrum. I don't isolate him, ever, and I try to give him plenty of opportunities to interact with a vrariety of people. But even adults, who used to think he was cute/precocious, now slowly back away when he starts talking. He makes no sense. Or he rambles on about the same topic for ages, or asks infintie questions, often the same question over an d over and over, for hours sometimes if you let him. I feel so embarrassed and I want to shout that this is not my child, he is much smarter than this and he really knows a lot, and he knows how to talk and please don't judge him!
Today he was looking out the window at some kids playing and I asked if he wanted to go out and he said no. Usually he gets excited to see kids, and he calls any kid his friend, so I asked again, "don't you want to play amd make some friends?" His reply, "no, and don't talk to me anymore. You and Daddy are my friends, let's play." And he started slamming things and throwing himself all over the furniture. He doesn't want to be rejected. :(
I just feel so bad for him. I don't know how else to help him. And it's frightening to think that people are already labeling my child in their mind with a serious mental disorder.