I just had to vent something that DH's cousin said to me during a recent visit. I don't know if it's because I'm 30 weeks pregnant and hormonal, but it just really gets to me. First, we make sacrifices so that I can be home with our 16 month old DS and new baby due in August. Two of those sacrifices are that we have 1 family car and we live in a 1 bedroom apartment for the time being. We don't have a lot of stuff, cosleep and don't really need lots of space at this point in our lives. DH and I made the decision that we would rather make do in a small space that allows me to be home with the kids during their early years than to have me go to work to pay for a larger space. I'm used to getting asked repeatedly by well meaning people when we plan to move. DH's cousin recently started this line of questioning during her visit. I responded that while I'd like to live just outside the city and in a 2 bedroom home, right now we're making sacrifices so that I can be home with the children. Honestly, I'm fine being here for another year. Her next question was if we plan to have more children (I've told her in the past that we plan to have 3, so that would be 1 more after this one I'm expecting now), but that we weren't exactly sure when we'd have the 3rd child, as I'd like to go back to school for my Master's degree in a program that would have me staying on campus (away from my family) 10 days a time 2 times a year. I started to say that I just don't want to be away from them for that period of time when they're so small. But I only got, "I just don't want..." out of my mouth before DH's cousin finished my sentence with "you just don't want to work." I was a bit dumbfounded and responded that I've worked full time since I was 17, including throughout my entire Bachelor's degree, and that I'm no stranger to hard work. I completed my original sentence, that I just didn't want to be away from my children when they're so small for 10 entire days. But it really gets on my nerves that her opinion of me is that I just don't want to work, as if I'm staying home with my children because I'm lazy or something.
I just had to get that out. I'm not close enough to her to have a conversation with her about this, but I'm really irked. I did talk to my husband about it and he said that it was kind of presumptuous, but then he had no more to say. I just don't care to be in this person's presence, anymore. Maybe that's wrong. I don't get that she was trying to offend me, but that she just isn't aware enough to realize she was being offensive. And this isn't the first time she's asked the same series of questions.
I'd like to come up with some phrases that will keep people from asking the same questions over and over, like when we plan to move or get a second vehicle or for me to go back to work... My family is fine with our current choices and when people constantly question, it really grates on my nerves. And to know there are people in the family who consider me to be lazy and not wanting to work really ticks me off. I know it doesn't matter what other people think, but I do wish they'd keep their opinions to themselves. I'm just wondering if anyone else has dealt with similar comments from people.
Edited by PoetryLover - 6/6/11 at 6:53am