10 year old won't hold his penis to pee..HELP

[hcskj4]

I have a 10 year old who stands to pee.  It took us a long time to get him to stand instead of sit.  (I don't know which is worse) When he sat he peed all over through the front of the toilet.  Now that he stands he refuses to hold his penis to aim it into the toilet so he pees everywhere.  He thinks it's gross to touch his own penis and we have tried to explain that it is proper way to aim and make the toilet and there is nothing bad about holding it.  (Guess I won't have a problem with him exploring himself anytime soon).  Not sure what else to do to get him to hold it to aim....HELP!   And yes, Dad has shown him how and tried to work with him too.

[CarrieMF]

make him clean the toilet & around the toilet/floor each time he uses the toilet.  He may think it is gross to hold it, but he may think it is more gross to have to clean it up after.

[Adaline'sMama]

Have you tried the "aim game?" I have a friend whose kid wouldnt hold his penis and she bought a can of super foamy shaving cream and would squirt a big poof of it in the toilet to encourage her kid to hold his penis to aim and make all the shaving cream disappear. He was a little younger though.

[Red Pajama]

I'm make him clean the bathroom (or at least around the toilet) as part of his daily chores.

As a side note, my husband is from a large family-- 5 brothers total. Having had many interesting sisters-in-law conversations, I've come to know that only the two eldest brothers (my husband and the eldest) are "housebroken". 

[SuburbanHippie]

Is there a reason why you make him stand instead of sit?  My almost 12 year old still sits to pee and I kinda like it that way. Less messy. 

[One_Girl]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF 

make him clean the toilet & around the toilet/floor each time he uses the toilet.  He may think it is gross to hold it, but he may think it is more gross to have to clean it up after.

I agree with this, this is how my brother learned the importance of aiming.  I only have a girl, but she sometimes misses and I do require her to clean it also. 

Out of curiosity, how do you know which position he chooses to pee in while he is in the bathroom?  I haven't known what my dd is doing in the bathroom since she was three and started wiping herself.  At ten he should have a lot more privacy.  Perhaps he is choosing to punish you for trying to control how he releases his bodily fluids by peeing everywhere.

[Viola]

I think making him clean up after himself is reasonable.  I'm assuming she knows what is going on, because there is pee everywhere and she's asked why.

[hcskj4]

If you think I stand and watch him all the time you are mistaken.  Once in a great while he will come while I am doing my make up and just go over and pee. Uncomfortble for me but we only have one bathroom and if I am late for work I can't stop what I am doing and leave.  I don't control how he releases his fluids.  If he wants to sit...then fine.  Do it.  Just stop making the mess. I do make him wipe up around the toilet when he makes a mess but that doesn't help.  Especially when he pees on the extra toilet paper rolls and anything else surrounding the area.  I don't keep a rug anywhere near the toilet for this reason.

He thinks it's wrong and gross to hold onto it for some reason. His dad has tried to explain to him that it is totally fine to hold it for this purpose. And has explained that is on of the reasons why we wash our hands when we are done.

[bdoody11]

Apparently my nephews both went through a phase were they wouldn't hold their penis to pee because they didn't want to wash their hands. 

They are 12 and 15 and as far and I know they have grown out of it. As far as the other suggestions I would say cleaning up after himself is good idea.

[Quinalla]

Have you asked him why he thinks it is gross? Maybe someone told him something weird at school or at the park that he believes and if you could clarify it maybe he would be able to realize it isn't gross? I too would have him thoroughly clean everything and pay you back either out of his allowance or with chores for any TP. I would keep trying to get to the bottom of why he thinks it is gross, that seems the key to me, it could easily be something said off hand that he has imagined into something bizarre, I remember doing that quite often as a child (looking back, you don't realize it when you are doing it of course!)