so i went to several BBQs this weekend, its the first nice weather we have had all spring.
At the BBQ Saturday, there were 2 other EBFing, Cosleeping, babywearing, AP moms of 2-4 month olds there and 2 of us already cloth diapered and the other intends to when she runs out of the free diapers she got at her shower. What a breath of fresh air to meet and hang out with other like minded moms! It felt very empowering to all sit around together nursing our babies, talking about our values and opinions and venting about how we handle when people disagree with our choices.
Then Sunday, I go to one BBQ and theres a 14-18 month old running around eating doritos and drinking coke. UHG just seeing her made me want to nurse my baby. At least I was commended for cloth diapering by an older-ish woman who did day care. At least one mom yelled (from the smoking area) to her kid that if she eats too much of the pinata candy she couldnt have cake.
Then at later BBQ Sunday, my 20 month old neice literally has 2 sippy cups of juice, at the same time, like one in each hand, well i think one was juice and one was crystal light! Her 6 week old baby sister was left in her car seat until my husband picked her up when she squirmed. He was handed a bottle of formula and i was so proud that I had to tell him how to hold her and it. (not that im opposed to dads feeding babies, it just reminded me how Im glad that I havent needed to give our 3.5 month old a bottle) My neice's mom asked how sleeping was going and I was happy to be genuinely happy with how well we sleep, since we sleep together and I dont have to get up to make a bottle at night. She seemed shocked that we sleep so well. As I was wearing my neice in my daughter's Moby, my mom said "thats nice when you have to hold her but it gets her used to being carried all the time" I really need to be prepared with some snappy comeback to her comments. Also, I was telling a story that i was calling Ellie's name and she was looking, like the 6th time i said "banana" and she looked, so i joked that shes not a banana, my mom said well shes ready for bananas. I said no, shes got a while before shes ready for bananas.
So anyhow, I just experienced one end of the spectrum to the other.
something that i have been working on, is NOT passing judgement on others who have such different values than I, and trying not to feel superior to them for the choices that I make. Its really something that I dislike, I want to stop judging because I know that breastfeeding can be hard for some, and cloth diapering really wouldnt work well for people who have to go to laundrymat, and that not everyone has taken early childhood education classes. Specifically with my neice, I just wish I could preach and preach my opnions and convert them, but instead i just try to lead by example, and show what i see as positive in my choices so they will see the options they have.
How do you find peace and avoid being judgemental when you are faced with other parents who differ from your ideals?