Bitter Sushi Ladies, June 2011 - Page 3

[kparker]

Yes, we are both "white" essentially. I'm mostly of Germanic descent and he's whatever he is. We have been looking into adoption from China, Russia, the Ukraine, and some other places that have lighter complected people for that similar look; I had blonde hair as a child (now brown) and his hair is so dark it could be black, and with my brown eyes and his light green we can have pretty much any hair or eye colour combination on a child, and anything in skin from dark tan like me to pale white like him and it will match. So unless I can only locate black or Asian babies, pretty much anything will work. I'm not adverse to black and Asian either, so really, while ideally speaking I'd try to find a white newborn, if we get to that point where we are actually completing homestudies and getting a lawyer etc., anything I can get will be just right for me.

That above paragraph is not supposed to sound racist or anything at all, so if it does I didn't mean it! Just trying to explain. :) Re-reading it it sounds kinda weird. I tried!

[LessTraveledBy]

LOL kparker.... Adoption stuff is complicated. Don't feel bad. ;) However, if I were you, I might just not discuss the topic too much with the sort of people who will only make dumb comments. For some reason it seems to be a topic that many people feel entitled to comment on. No idea why!

O_T... I think it would be good for you to temp really diligently for a couple of cycles. For me e.g. cm does not give enough information for accuracy. If one has more than one wet day after the egg white mucus, it gets harder. Thus when I said 21 days means pregnancy, it means 21 days of elevated temps, not 21 days from cm interpretation. Sometimes it takes surprisingly long for the temp to come up. Anyway, I am sorry about af and hope your cycles get predictable soon.

AFM... First week of the TWW, so very calm and uneventful. Time has flown, though, as our infertility appointment is next week. I can hardly believe it. I don't expect much, but I do feel a certain relief that things are now "happening," so I am that much closer to being able to move on, in one way or another, I hope.

[enigo]

Interestingly my DS has white hair. I mean white and verrrrry blue eyes. (Think children of the corn) I was blond, but more of a golden blond and have brown hair and green eyes now.
DH is blond w/blue eyes. Usually only DS and I are together during the day and at least once or twice a day someone will ask if he's mine. um yeah..I'm the one that pushed his nearly 10 pound body out.

Everywhere we go someone makes a comment about his hair. Poor kid.

[kparker]

Originally Posted by enigo 

Interestingly my DS has white hair. I mean white and verrrrry blue eyes. (Think children of the corn) I was blond, but more of a golden blond and have brown hair and green eyes now.
DH is blond w/blue eyes. Usually only DS and I are together during the day and at least once or twice a day someone will ask if he's mine. um yeah..I'm the one that pushed his nearly 10 pound body out.

Everywhere we go someone makes a comment about his hair. Poor kid.

Hahaha wow. My friend as a kid had that white silvery unreal hair, and now it's dirty blonde as an adult. Both his parents had darker golden blonde hair. Genetics are awesome. I bet your DS is adorable with that crazy look!

[objet_trouve]

Well, I wasn't just cm charting, I do ferning as well, but your point about elevated temps still stands and will be super helpful in the future

[lilmom]

O_T- did you call the doc yet? I do agree temping diligently is a wonderful, wonderful thing..but I thought the ferning is supposed to be pretty sure-fire, right? I don't know much about ferning but when I looked at your chart it seemed that the ferning and cm both supported O around the same time..but there is definitely something going on!!! Is it possible the ferning equipment is wrong? I am very perplexed by your case right now!  Sorry, I'm just in the boring part of my own cycle..no O yet..

kparker- I just hope for you that you get a really sweet little one, no matter how they come to you.

LTB- that sentiment goes for you too, and I am excited with you that you are finally about to have the appt. Very exciting.

AFM, I did have a really fun dream last night that I was pregnant. I know I am not right now, but let's hope this is a good sign for the future! Woo hooo! In the dream, I had a crazy high temp, bought a hpt, took it and it was positive. Oh, dreams. This is a much wanted change from the dreams I have been having lately, where I hear my baby crying but can't find him! Did I tell you all about that? I have been having nightmares lately where that happens. It is not my DS, but another baby that is mine and I know it is a boy. But I can't find him. So perhaps this means I will find him. I like to hope.

[objet_trouve]

I think I want to try one more cycle before I start bothering my doctors...until last night, they were the only thing about infertility that actually made me cry, and I don't look forward to getting hung up on all the time or having to drive across town just to schedule blood work (that supposedly can be done over the phone, but they always hung up on me or called me a troublemaker when I tried to do that...and the report I filed about it got flat ignored). Besides, perhaps I'll find something to do different with my charting this month that will make it make more sense. Maybe I'll find something wrong, and at the very least I'll have a good clear chart to bring them.

[vivica2]

hi ladies, id like to join you.  i just cant stand everyone around me getting preganant anymore!  and im having a hard time understanding why it isnt happening for me.

i have 2 children wheo were concieved within 3 months (mind you, a had a 6 +7 week miscarriage the cycle before each of them) and now ttc #3 with one 10 week loss is realy taking its toll after about 14 months.   im on my second round of clomid...8DPO, perfect timing and got a bfn this morning, (i always test early, its a weakness). if it doesnt work this cycle ill be bumping the clomid up to 75mg. and asking for progesterone as well. 

chart here:http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1b07bd

 

im glad that there are people who may understand my problem. :)

 

-viv-

 

p.s.: maby my thing could say "Vivica2, ttc#3 with regular ovulation and no succes for 14 months" with my chart. thanks!

[Kyamo]

Welcome vivica, I remember you.  I hope the clomid works for you.  

Objet - That really sucks that your cycles are so confusing.  My opinion would lean more towards wacky, hard-to-interpret charts, rather than extremely long LP.  In the chart that has now disappeared from your page, it might have been anovulatory.  In the chart that's now at the bottom, CD 18 looks like another possible O date which seems to line up with temps, the last watery day, and that would make the LP 14 days.  I know that doesn't line up with the ferning, so I don't know.  I know some PCOS women get multiple positive OPKs before the real one, I wonder if the same can happen with ferning? 

AFM - IUI #4 tomorrow.  I feel like I'm just going through the motions now, I don't really expect it to work.  On the other hand, I'm sure that won't stop me from imagining pregnancy symptoms in a week.  

[objet_trouve]

FF is also saying luteal phase was 19 days instead of 20...so I don't even know. If it happened on a different day than what I think, it could be fine. I also found this just now, what do you think?

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-long-luteal-phase.htm

[Kinza]

O_T:  I looked at your charts and they look like some of my older charts.  Crazy temps all over the place!  My thinking (and this is just me) is that you are ovulating later than the ferning pattern is leading the software to believe.  Someone else mentioned PCOS women getting extra + OPKs, and I too wonder if the same thing can happen with ferning.  Before starting metformin, I regularly had a 16-18 day luteal phase and was told not to worry about it, since a long luteal phase allows plenty of time for implantation to "take".  This is easier said than done, since it just feels like wasted time.  Anyway, I'd try to chart accurately this month (as you plan), and can you check your saliva after it goes down from high or peak or whatever it is?  Just to see if it peaks again?  (Sorry, I don't use a microscope so I don't know what the terminology is.)

Kyamo:  Good luck tomorrow.  I kind of know what you mean about not expecting it to work. 

Welcome, vivica! 

Hi to everyone else--I suck at personals.  I don't know what to do with myself this month, since I'm trying out the NuvaRing.  I'm not temping or anything.  I feel like this would have been the month I would miraculously get pregnant if only I weren't preparing for IVF and seeing how this thing works.  Isn't that silly?  Creeping up on three years, and I still trick myself into believing it could happen for us.  I know it happens for some people after this amount of time, but not for those of us dealing with one moving sperm per million and "an unfortunate hormonal environment."  Bah. 

[monkeyscience]

Viv - Welcome! As always, we're sorry to see more people feel the bitterness, but we're happy to share it with you, and hope it doesn't last long. I've added you to the roster - check and let me know if anything needs to be changed.

AFM, tired and hot from work, and brain to fuzzy for much in the way of personals. Nothing to report - CD 35 or so, still no signs of O. For some stupid reason, I really thought Sunday would be our day, and dh seemed to be getting the same vibe, but... nothing. Sigh.

[Smilesarefree]

Vivica2 - Welcome, sorry you had to join us but I hope you find support here amongst people who understand and are dealing with the same sadness and frustrations. 

Kyamo - Good luck tomorrow!!!!!  Crossing my fingers for you!

AFM - I'm CD13, and part of me wants to not ttc, I know if I don't I'll regret it and beat myself up over it but I am getting tired of the disappointment. 

[lilmom]

O-T- somehow I had missed that AF joined you. I am so sorry!!! But I like your plan of diligent temping.

Kyamo- I hope this time it really does work!! Hoping for you!!!!

Kinza- hang in there. I always think it's going to happen too..very rarely does a cycle occur where I don't think so. Even if our timing is bad. I guess that's optimism for you. I don't know at what point I will stop feeling like it *might* happen this time around, or if I ever will.

Monkey- I hope O comes soon. I know how miserable it is waiting, and feeling like time is just going by.

Smiles- I'm your cycle buddy...CD13 too, although I'm sure you'll O faster than I will and then we won't be but for now we are. Sorry you are feeling so down about it. That's where I was at last month as the cycle went on, and when I gave up on the ttc I really regretted it. I won't be doing that again! It's hard when you feel so tired of it all though, I know.

Viv- welcome to our little group! Sorry you are having a rough time.

AFM, another friend announced a pregnancy today. Ugh. This particular friend is a wonderful mother, who has 2 kids already, so this is the 3rd in 5 yrs and this baby was a surprise. She had made a big deal about 6 mo or so ago about how she was done, 2 is plenty, blah blah...but now she is pregnant again. For some reason I feel like the surprise pregnancies are harder for me to hear about. It's not that she won't be a good mom to this one too. It's just that she can get a baby without even trying or wanting it to happen and I can't get one after 2 yrs of trying and crying. And since she had previously said "no more", this was a shock to me. Sigh. I guess I shouldn't be shocked anymore, it seems like everybody can do it but me.

[LessTraveledBy]

Originally Posted by lilmom  It's not that she won't be a good mom to this one too. It's just that she can get a baby without even trying or wanting it to happen and I can't get one after 2 yrs of trying and crying. And since she had previously said "no more", this was a shock to me. Sigh. I guess I shouldn't be shocked anymore, it seems like everybody can do it but me.

Hugs, lilmom! And everyone else, of course.

I know well the feeling of not feeling like ttc, but needing to. It does get really old and has definitely affected things in our marriage. Not necessarily in a bad way, but in a bit of a sad way. I was once told we should not try to time things..... by someone with 3 kids under 5. Her point was, I think, that it is somehow immoral or something to try too hard. Hey, thanks... This was years ago, so I was able to not say much. If I got that comment now, I think I would really have a comeback after which she would be less likely to offer her opinions again. (To put it nicely.)

The good thing, for me, is that it has now been so long that dd has stopped talking about a sibling. Now she just talks about babies, fostered or our own, but not just about siblings. Makes things a whole lot easier for me. I can see that she has gone through some sorrow about this in the past couple of years and has now accepted our situation, mostly. I do know that the pregnancy news from friends are hurtful to her, though. She has said things like "so and so is younger than me and alreready a big sister." But, these days I feel blessed that she sees the value of each human life.

[yoyonana]

hi ladies, can i join you ...

i m new to this site, 34 , DH 31, TTC for 3 years, done all kinda test come back positive and healthy, dr list me under unexplained infertilitty.

feeling depress and despair, all friend aorund me with kids and baby, except me and no one can understand how much i hv gone through and how i feel..

10 dpo today, no sign of pregnancy symptom. i guess am out this month....

[yoyonana]

here is my chart

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/ttc/index.php 

[Milk8shake]

Originally Posted by lilmom !! Hoping for you!!!! Sigh. I guess I shouldn't be shocked anymore, it seems like everybody can do it but me.

I feel you.

[objet_trouve]

Anyone have any thoughts on grapefruit juice and green tea for cm? I'm wondering if part of my charting problem (besides screwing up temps last cycle of course) is as much not knowing how to tell watery from creamy (which I've gotten better at since I got that book, the TCOYF one, which actually has pictures), and more that I'm not getting so much fertile cm...I went to a parade the other day and got heat exhaustion, and I realized I'm not terribly good at keeping myself hydrated, as I'm still really badly dehydrated now as of Saturday. I live in the desert, so I figure I already need more water than usual. I'm boosting water now, but is there anything else any of you recommend?

[monkeyscience]

Just a flyby to say I've added you to the list, yoyonana. Check and see if it looks okay to you. The link to your chart didn't work, though. Welcome!!