I'm new to this forum, and could use some guidance.
I'm a 22 yo army wife and mom to 2 boys ( my DSS is 6 and my DS is 1). I have known my DSS since he was 2 and we have custody of him. Before my DH and I got married my DSS lived with his mom but spent most of his time at his Grandma's (MIL) because his mom was "too busy" as she put it! She had 7 boyfriends in a one month span and DSS was horrified at the thought of even going to stay at her house. He'd come stay at my house on the weekends and I couldn't believe how well behaved he was.
We got married on R&R in July of 09 and I soon found out I was pregnant. DH came home in October where we lived in NY for about 6 mos. We then moved to WA and DSS moved with us, and we've been having problems with him since day 1. When we moved to WA I was 6 mos pregnant and DH was out of town going to school and DSS was with me. DH came home 4 days before I had DS and DSS went back home to visit his mom.
Thats a little background story; my problem is I'm having a hard time getting him to even listen to me. He throws fits, punches things, hits himself, bangs his head against the wall, he'll poop in his bed and play in it. Is constantly lieing, and has even thrown a few things at me.He's very good at manipulating women especially his mom and gma but I don't give in. They give him WHATEVER he wants and lets him do whatever whenever. This scares me because he's really big for his age and I know he's going to be a big kid.
I just don't know what to do, I feel stressed to the max because it seems like I can't get anywhere with him. He is very disrespectful to adults. Especially his dad he has said rude comments such as " I wish you weren't my dad I wish so and so (mommys current boyfriends) was my daddy or I don't love you and wish you would go back.
I've tried positive reinforcement, time outs, psychologists, counselors, grounding, enrolling him in sports with other kids his age, and talking to him and I don't seem to be getting anywhere and it doesn't help that he'll be leaving for his moms in a few weeks.
DH is gone for training and then deploys and DSS will be staying here with me and DS and I don't have this under control yet. DH isn't much help, I told him that DSS threw a water bottle at me and all he could say was "i'm sorry,"
Ladies I could really use some advice, words of encouragement! Anything, my family isn't much help.