How do you deal with differences in parenting when your ex refuses to communicate or take your concerns seriously? I realize I have very little control over how ex parents, but there are a few safety issues I'm concerned about with the summer here. I am now doubting whether these are serious enough issues to pursue (which will definately create more animosity in an already difficult pending custody/divorce case). I don't want to be seen in a negative light by the court, but I want my kids to be safe!
As a bit of background, my toddler seriously burned his hand last summer on ex's hot motorcycle exhaust pipe, which was in his backyard. DS is very active, fast, and curious. With two small children, I know how fast they can get away from you.
My most serious concern right now is the backyard swimming pool at ex's house. It is an above ground pool in the very back of they yard with a partial deck and no gate. Our county requires a self-latching gate at least 48" high. It makes me so nervous knowing that DS is running around in the backyard and it would take him less than a minute to climb this deck and fall in the pool . I sent an email to ex and followed up verbally asking him if there was a gate yet and if he could please put one up and he said "I could give two sh!ts about your concerns". I am trying to be flexible on so much but I feel like I have to draw the line on this. Would you call code enforcement? It's his parent's home if that makes a difference, and I'm not on good terms with them.
The other concerns are still the motorcycle in the backyard--burns and is it possible it could tip over and crush DS?? There's an RV back there, I don't even want to think about that thing and if DS could get locked in it with the heat. There's at least one, maybe two 'hot rods' back there and I think they also have a boat back there now too, though I don't know what kind. I am worried he will take the children out on the boat without age/weight appropriate life vests, and I don't think he or his parents even have a boaters license. I asked him about all of these things as well and got the same response as above.
I am not trusting my judgement right now and would just like some feedback on these concerns before I pursue them further. Please no flames, I am just a worried mama trying to do the right thing.