Some questions about water safety - Page 2

[loraxc]

I say get a little more firm with the boudnaries, and let her know what the consequences will be if she complains, doesn't listen, argues, begs, whatever - and then follow through.

I do appreciate your help on the swimming issue, but I actually didn't start this thread for discipline advice. This is an ongoing issue in our lives and not one that can be solved by a stranger in a thead about swimming safety. I should not have brought this aspect up. Please drop it.

[woodchick]

I can't tell from your posts if you are usually in the water with her or if you're on the shore while she swims.  Maybe staying in the water would help you feel more connected to her level of exhaustion and it would help calm your fears.

Another thing I've thought of- could you play some games and such in the water?  You could toss a ball out and have her swim to it and bring it back.  Start close and then go a little further each time.  Or you could have water treading contests to see who can go the longest.  Or give her some kind of landmark and have her swim there and back.   As you're playing the games she'll be increasing her strength and ability and you'll be near hear to see how she's doing.

I grew up at the ocean and my mom had different rules for swimming based on situation. For example, if she was on the beach I could only go up to the top of my swim suit.  If she (or Dad) was in the water with me I could swim out further over my head.  Maybe if you relaxed your deep water restriction when you were nearby she would be more willing to stay in close other times.

It does sound like you would really benefit from a lifeguarding course or first aid training, for peace of mind alone.  I think maybe even talking with a lifeguard (one who knew the pond would be great!) who could give you a few pointers would help.

My personal opinion is that the water can be a dangerous place, but that with careful supervision it can be great.  I think giving your children the chance to learn and practice their swimming skills on a regular basis is the best way to go.

[ameliabedelia]

I would not let the 7-yo swim over her head in the lake or pond, at all. by herself.  Not ever.  Not even a much older child.  If they were with an adult who COULD stand, I would be okay with it..  We don't swim in lakes too much, but we do swim in the beach.  My kids are allowed to go between their belly button and their chest (around where the nipples are) depending on waves.  With bigger waves, I'd made them stay even more shallow.   I realize it is possible for someone to drown in water they can stand in, but it seems much less likely.

At pools, I will let my 9-yo swim in the deep end, but the pools we swim in are always pretty small,  wherever you are in the pool, you're never far from the side, so easier for her to get to the side if she needs to, and if she can't, easier for soemone else to rescue her.

[loraxc]

I can't tell from your posts if you are usually in the water with her or if you're on the shore while she swims.

I'm always in the water, but I don't stay in arm's reach. At most, I'm probably 15-20 feet away. I would guess that I would be able to get to her in what, less than a minute, but apparently people think this is too long? I don't know...I still feel a little like that's overkill.

I would not let the 7-yo swim over her head in the lake or pond, at all. by herself. Not ever. Not even a much older child.

I am certainly interested in safety or I wouldn't have started this thread, but I think this is an alarmist POV. (She's not "by herself", though. It seems like I might not have a done a good job explaining this. I am not lying on a deck chair on the beach reading a book. I'm in the water, near her, but I let her swim around some.

Waves are really different, though--I'm very cautious in water with waves.

[ameliabedelia]

I am certainly interested in safety or I wouldn't have started this thread, but I think this is an alarmist POV. (She's not "by herself", though. It seems like I might not have a done a good job explaining this. I am not lying on a deck chair on the beach reading a book. I'm in the water, near her, but I let her swim around some.

Well, as I said above, I do think it's different if you are near her, and if she's not swimming over YOUR head. I would not let her swim over your head, and if she is over HER head, I would stay pretty close, likely probably no more than 5 steps away from her, and again I wouldn't let her go where YOU can't stand.

[LiLStar]

Can I threadjack to ask a question about natural water? We had an incident 2 summers ago that FREAKED me out. We were at a beach off the northern coast of Oregon, so not exactly a place where you'd expect to see big/dangerous waves. No surfin or anything ;) We weren't there to swim, mostly just hang out and enjoy the beach, play in the sand and such. We were there with some friends, and had our stuff and were sitting pretty reasonably far from the edge of the water.. I can't recall exactly.. 20 feet? I had ds in a carrier and was with dd getting our *toes* wet. You know, playing that game where as the wave comes you jump back so it doesn't "Get" you or maybe let it get up to your ankles, tops? That. I wouldn't even call it wading. So we're in toe deep water, and out of nowhere this MONSTER wave comes. LUCKILY I was *right there* holding dd's hand because all of a sudden I am waist deep in water and 2yo dd is.. shoulder deep?! And its kinda rough, and knocking her off her feet, and a baby in a carrier is messing with my balance and LUCKILY there were lots of people around and some guy picked her up and carried her back to shore for me. Our friends moved our stuff back but a lot of it got wet, and we ended up sitting WAY back from where we were to be in dry sand again. Shook me up. What if I hadn't been *right there*? I wouldn't normally think anything of sitting back on a blanket while dd got her toes wet. But if I hadn't been next to her she could have easily been knocked down and drowned. So... wtf was that? 

[insidevoice]

One thing my daughter liked when she was at the in-between stage was using a pool noodle.  She would have it nearby wherever she was and it was fun to play with.  If she wanted to lounge with a little support she would often use that- and it was less obtrusive than a PFD- for instance so other kids wouldn't tease her about it. It is not something I would EVER use as a safety/flotation device, but if you are supervising, it can be a nice thing to offer support if she happened to tire and you needed a couple seconds to help her. (Inflatable things are not allowed in our family, the pool noodle is foam and won't deflate if it hits a snag, so I was ok with her using it.)

[insidevoice]

Waves like that aren't uncommon at the ocean or even on larger bodies of fresh water.  One thing I like to teach my kids is how to right themselves when something like that does knock them off their feet.  They learn to ride in with the waves allowing the wave to carry their body, and they learn to get out of the wave diagonally. (We start about when they can crawl/walk by about a year anyway.)  We make a game of it when the waves are small, and if they get bigger the kids are less likely to panic because they will be used to the sensation already. 

If you want to help keep a LO safe when you are watching from nearby- there are some PFDs they can wear that will right them should a wave knock them off their feet.  They are usually comfortable for the child to wear when they play in the surf so kids don't complain about them.  The other thing to do is to learn to watch the waves coming in so you can see the swells, but that takes some practice, and you can still be caught off guard when one wave happens to catch up to the one in front of it and you are hit with a monster. 

[loraxc]

I have discouraged the noodle because when we had it at the pool, it seemed too much like a prop that got in the way of really being safe/confident in the water. In a lake I can see it, but I would imagine it would float away and then she would go after it.

If you want to help keep a LO safe when you are watching from nearby- there are some PFDs they can wear that will right them should a wave knock them off their feet.

On the subject of PFDs--DD really didn't get comfy in the water till we allowed her to paddle around freely in one of the vest-style PFDs (no headrest). I think she was 4, or maybe early 5. Is a 3yo strong/coordinated enough to paddle around in the shallow end in a nonrighting PFD, generally? (Of course with us right there...but is he likely to get a snootful of water? He strongly dislikes getting his face wet. He still freaks out when we wash his hair. )

Saw something recently that gives you an idea of the water culture where we are--nonswimming (doggy paddle-level) kids jumping into deep natural water wearing arm floaties. Oy.

[cat13]

Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama 

insidevoice - those are some AWESOME rules.  I'm C&P'ing them for own future use. 

They seem totally reasonable, and kids can have TONS of fun in water thats just up to their chest.  I'm also a very strong swimmer, and have had my lifeguard/WSI/CPRPR although they have all expired.  As ds gets older I might end up getting the certs back to stay in the loop in changes in the "rules" (like now CPR doesn't do breaths except in certain situations, mostly they say to just do compressions if there is no heartbeat).

This may be a little OT, but I just wanted to clarify that this is NOT true for children. As a Red Cross Instructor, I might be a little biased, but I recommend that all parents get current CPR/First Aid training, and be sure that it includes the infant/pediatric training as well.

As for the advice given for swimming rules, I'm a little behind the game because my first isn't due until August, but I actually have been thinking about this. I swim in the ocean, lakes and pools all the time and look forward to taking my LO someday.  InsideVoice, thanks for sharing your rules. I am definitely going to C&P for later use!