Virginia Queer Families- I need advice!

[Go_Vegan]

Hey all, my DP and I just moved home to Richmond VA after being in Boston for about 4 years. We were ttc up there for about 8 months with ID release frozen sperm via IUI. I am currently taking a break from ttc and we are considering switching to a known donor. Is there anybody out there who has conceived with a known donor in VA? If so, did you do anything other than a typical known donor legal release? I know that in Massachusetts the donor has to go to court after the baby is born to explicitly give up his rights for the non-bio parent to adopt, is that something that is done in VA even though there is no second parent adoption? Does anyone have a good attorney to recommend?

Regarding adoption, I have gotten some very mixed messages from people, including a lawyer I talked to. I know that the VA adoption laws don't say anything about sexual orientation but prohibit adoption by unmarried couples. Does anyone know of a successful adoption by a "single" individual who still is partnered? 

Is anybody living in Richmond and want to chat? 

Can anyone recommend a good primary care doctor in Richmond that is LGBT friendly/vegan friendly?

Thanks y'all!

[alphahen]

Hi GoVegan! We seem to be living oddly parallel lives!  I live in Richmond now and I also lived in Boston or almost 10 years (including school).  My wife and I have been TTC since October 2010 with frozen sperm/IUI.  As luck would have it, we just had an initial consultation two weeks ago with a lawyer we really love who is Richmond-based and specializes in adoption and fertility issues.  It is true that there is no second-parent adoption in VA but we were encouraged, after meeting with her, by the options we did have available to us.  It isn't MA, of course, but there are options. So I would really encourage you to speak with her.  Her name is Colleen Quinn (http://www.quinnlawcenters.com/law-centers/adoption-and-surrogacy).  You can message me and I will be happy to provide more detail there. 

On the Primary Care front, we use the VCU Institute for Women's Health-Women's Health Center at Stoney Point. The practice is completely female (Docs, nurses, etc.) and no one has ever batted an eye about either of us being gay.  My doc is Ruma Adams but I have had good experiences with all the docs I have seen there.  Their website is:  http://www.intmed.vcu.edu/home/welcome/womenshealth.html .  Sorry I can't speak to the vegan-friendly question. 

Like I said, I would be happy to chat!  I have been on this Board for a few months and have yet to find another Richmond dweller. We have managed to find our bliss here (mostly because both sides of our family live here) but it is a unique place to try to become a LGBT parent. It often feels like this lovely state is about 20 years behind other parts of the world.  Anyway, happy to share what we have learned along the way!   Feel free to PM me!!

[aquapacata]

I conceived with a known donor in Richmond, but moved to Illinois before the birth.  The place I conceived at required us to sign a "declaration of sexual intimacy" before I could use the sperm.  It was a cover-your-ass release related to STDs, as far as I can tell, and I don't think the endocrinologist cared a bit, actually - it was the lab that cleaned the sperm that required it.   I know that in Iowa the same release is required by most places.   As far as adoption issues are concerned in Virginia, I can't help there.  I'm really glad we had second-parent adoption (which did require a revocation by the donor) in Illinois!  

Edited by aquapacata - 6/10/11 at 6:58pm