She was also absolutely terrified of pressing into my belly at all to listen for the heartbeat, so there were several times she freaked me out by going "Uh there's no heartbeat." Jeez kid, grow a brain!!
Criminy! Yeah, NOT the thing to say. My trainee yesterday had never used a fetoscope before, so it took her a while to get the hang of it - but she did have the good sense not to say anything scary, and it was neat to see her face light up when she heard the heartbeat. I think she thought it was semi-magical that she could hear the heartbeat without a doppler - funny, because a fetoscope is incredibly basic technology. (And then my MW told her approvingly that it was easy to hear because I "didn't have an ounce of abdominal fat", which was sort of nice to hear after weeks of DD telling me how squishy I am!)
It's funny how little things MWs say can freak you out. When DD was born she had a nuchal hand, and my MW supported my perineum with hot cloths as she crowned, and had to sort of pull DD's arm out at one stage (or something - honestly, I couldn't tell you what she did, I was out of it!). And one of the first things she said after DD emerged was "I'm not sure if we managed to save your perineum".... the phrasing of which struck me at the time as incredibly sinister and horrific. Obviously she just meant "Let me check for tears", but it sounded scarier than that. :p (No tears, fortunately, but the phrase still kinda haunts me!)
WRT palpation, am I unusually tender, or do you ladies also hate the bit where the MW digs her fingers way down by your pelvic bone to check if the head's engaged? I find it immensely uncomfortable (and I've had three different MWs do it, so it's not a case of having a savage one). I tend to bruise really easily though... maybe it's just me. But I do not enjoy that part.
In terms of mental health.... arrrghh. Yeah, not in a good state. I'm 40+6 today. 41+1, ie. in two days' time, is my twenty-fifth birthday, which I would like to not spend in labour. So the baby needs to come today or tomorrow, or hold off until Saturday. I've been in a foul mood for a few days now - a mixture of rage and depression. I had really bad depression earlier in this pregnancy - quite honestly, I was suicidal for a few weeks - and I'm a little scared now about how my mental health will hold up after the baby's born (especially if the birth doesn't go well). I'm not exactly famed for cheerily bouncing through life to begin with. :p I'll have placenta capsules, which helped a bunch last time, but still...
Anyway, the long sordid story of my brain's woes is too dull and depressing to go into, but suffice it to say that I am not, right now, a happy Smokey. And DH is depressed too - a combination of illness and money worries and general moopness - which doesn't help, because we can't snap each other out of it. I keep trying to get him to help me organise cupboards and clean things, because doing housework with him makes me happy (not 'cause I love housework, but I like to feel productive and spend time with him)... only he hates it, and what makes him happy is to play violent video games for hours on end.... which annoys me because I've never remotely understood the appeal of video games, especially ones so gory you can't let your three-year-old watch you play them, because for inexplicable reasons you've chosen to play an evil character who has to blow innocent civilians up a lot. Really, can that actually be therapeutic for depression? I think not. Ah well.
Also, DD woke up crying about 5 times last night. Every time I think we've sorted this sleeping thing - ! I don't know how it's going to work with four of us in one bedroom, including a new baby.
Right, well. It's 9:26... I have to take DD to dancing class at 2:30, and between those times I'm going to try taking a long walk along some gutters, or rearranging a cupboard in a way which requires me to squat, or something else labour-inducing. Maybe I could take DD to the playground and climb all over the jungle gym with her. :p
Also, when my MW was running through the list of natural induction techniques - you know, pineapple, sex, walks etc - she mentioned a hot bath. I always thought hot baths were meant to calm random contractions - as in, "Have a glass of wine and a hot bath and if the contractions go away, it's not real labour"? And don't they say not to get into the tub for a waterbirth until you're 6-7 cm dilated, so you don't slow labour down? So that seemed like odd advice to me. Anyone?