Originally Posted by amaayeh
That's GREAT! I have been trying hard to do that, but haven't been able to. I'm feeling terribly abandoned right now, which is probably why I won't let my mind (or body) go there. Dh is being really disconnected again and all he does and thinks about are work. I guess I should be used to it as that is how he has treated me this entire pregnancy, but I'm having a nervous breakdown over it. He doesn't talk to me, he just works on his computer. I have to tell him to sit with the kids and actually listen to them (GET OFF YOUR PHONE!!). It's just a really negative place to be. Top that off with the fact that I'm having a hard time emotionally getting over the fact that at 37 weeks my midwife visited my home for the first time and informs me it will take her at least two hours (without any traffic) to get to my house for the birth. Considering my first was 10 hours and my second was 3 hours, I'm not sure I'll even be in labor that long this time. I had been envisioning this really peaceful nighttime birth and now I feel like that is all out the window because everyone is going to be rushing to even make it here...possibly including dh if it's daytime and he's at work...could take him at least an hour to get here. Then the kicker is that at my 38 week appointment my midwife tells me she is going out of town on my due date for a family event and has yet to provide me with even her backups name. When I've asked about this person, etc., she just says things like "Oh, I'll drive really fast to try to make it." She will be at least 3 1/2 hours away at that point (without traffic). Again, does no one understand that this labor might go fast and that I don't want my five year old delivering?? I've tried to express this to all of them and I just get completely blown off. I don't know what to do and I feel like I have ZERO support around here. And then they all wonder why I'm on edge and crying all the time. Ugh.
Sorry for the vent. I just needed to tell someone what's going on.
You can vent anytime! I've been having a lot of issues with DH on and off for the past month or so and it's really stressful - especially at this point in pregnancy when everything is so upsetting. I probably cry at least once a day in response to something DH says to me. He doesn't even have work as an excuse. He's a full-time student and is now on break for the summer. So he's here all day. I'm just an annoyance when I talk to him and try to get him to listen to birth stuff and/or baby stuff. We STILL have not agreed on a baby girl name (we don't know the gender). He's insistent that it's going to be the name that he picked that I'm not crazy about. So rather than discuss other possibilities with me, he's just going the route of not discussing it with me. Grrrrr!!! As for your midwife, I'm angry with her and I've never even met her. It just seems like there's so many things that you're finding out last minute. It doesn't seem fair at all. It's absolutely ridiculous that she hasn't given you the name of a backup yet. Is there anyone local that you trust to call over in a pinch should you start laboring with DH an hour away and your midwife starting on her way? Do I remember you saying you have a doula? Is she close enough that she'll be there quickly? I really hope you are able to have a productive conversation with DH and find some peace - I know how important it is to have that support during a time like this. I will be thinking of you. Please keep updating on how things are going.
Originally Posted by Snowflake777
amaayeh - I'm sorry to hear about your DH and midwife. :( It's so stressful going into a birth feeling like the people you need most aren't there for you. It's such a vulnerable time and you need that support. Have you had a heart to heart with your DH recently? I've been in a similar place with my marriage and was afraid to start a fight right before the birth, but eventually I snapped and laid it all out, and he's been somewhat better since.
I just spoke to the hospital to book my induction. My midwife told me it would be Sunday, Monday at the latest, but they're making me wait until Tuesday (when I'll be exactly 42 weeks). I realise this is a very un-MDC sentiment, but I'm so utterly fed up that that extra day is putting me over the edge. Please please please let me go into labour before then!
Snowflake - at this stage in pregnancy I think we're all entitled to feel what we feel whether it's "MDC friendly" or not! It's easy to get to a point where you just want to hold that baby and that is what's overshadowing everything. Hopefully you can find some peace as you wait out the weekend until Tuesday. And hopefully it won't be that long because you'll go on your own before then. Sending labor vibes your way!
I'm still here with constant pressure. I want to start my birthing time so badly. But I realize that I have no right to complain seeing as I'm not even 39 weeks until Sunday. I know I'm just getting antsy. With my pregnancy with DS I never felt quite like this either. He was never positioned properly since he was posterior and I never started birthing on my own since I was induced, so I never felt the sensations that I'm feeling this time around. This is so different. I can feel baby pressing on me, almost as if he/she is looking for the exit and it's messing with my mind. I feel like a preggochondriac. Every little twinge, crampy feeling, bloaty feeling, etc...and I start getting hopeful. But so far it's all been nothing! And of course as much as I love reading all of the birth stories, and I sincerely do, they're making me so anxious to hold my own little one! And of course that makes me feel guilty because I know that I'm in my last moments with my little DS who is about to have a huge change take place in his life. I feel like I should just be content to treasure every second with him before our family of three becomes a family of four. But to tell you the truth I think even he is getting antsy for baby to come out! He's wrapped his present for baby and he loves to give my belly hugs and say "I love you baby" with a huge grin on his face. He's my sensitive little sweetie pie!
Anyways, the plan for today is to go swimming if we don't get rained out. And I sincerely hope that we don't because I want to go soooo badly! I'm hoping the swimming might cause some things to start happening also! When I did my visualization, I visualized beginning my birthing time in the late evening after swimming. It'd be nice, but I know I'm not psychic or anything!