June Chat Thread -- Week 2 - Page 5

[swimming-duck]

Choosing not to worry about a super fast labor here, but I admit that this DDC has had a ton of fast labors. So odd considering that it's not supposed to be that common for labor to go so fast!

We had a lovely day at the pool today. It felt soooo amazing to be in the water. We were supposed to go to the Y since we have a membership there, but we pulled up and found out they're closed on Sundays. Well, we'd been talking to DS about going swimming today for several days and I was really looking forward to it, so we ended up at the local outdoor swim place. It was a bit cooler day out so it wasn't jam packed like it usually is - which is why we never go. It was a lot of fun, but since we weren't planning on it I didn't have sunblock on. I did get a slight burn. I hope it goes away quickly. I'd hate to start my birthing time with a sunburn! I did lots of forward floating, breaststroke, etc...My house is starting to really shape up and look great. It's not done, but I'm at a point where I'd feel okay if things started happening. But I'm just 38 weeks, so I think it'll be a bit anyways. But I'd be okay if it wasn't...just saying. I told DH it'd be nice to start my birthing time just so that I don't have to work tomorrow...lol!

[Smokering]

Ehh, I'm bored again. I'm home alone - DH and DD are at his parents' for dinner, and our flatmate's at the gym. I just finished writing out a list of things for me and (preferably!) DH to do when I go into labour - stuff like changing the sheets on the bed (because Mum will be sleeping in it while we're at the birth centre), packing the birth bag into the car, putting on a big brew of pregnancy tea, all that jazz. And I have some muffins baking in the oven, for no particular reason.

I keep feeling like I should just declare labour officially begun and turn up at the birthing centre. :p It seems like my body would cooperate if I only made it official. Probably shouldn't risk it, though!

I have a MW appointment tomorrow (I'll be 40+5), and I've decided I don't want to talk induction what-ifs yet. There's plenty of time to worry about it, and well, I just don't wanna. So there.

I have had slightly more "exciting" BHs today, and can't help thinking that tonight might be the night... but then, it's not the first night I've thought that. :p And I still haven't lost my mucus plug or anything really concrete like that. I might ring up my friend and ask if her kids want to come for a playdate tomorrow morning; it'll give DD something to do and me someone to talk about birth with!

ETA (later, 11PM): Good humour temporarily restored. I just won a $5-bar-of-chocolate bet with DH, on the subject of whether figgy pudding actually contains figs. DH, aggrieved: "But it's so OBVIOUS!". Me: "You mean like chocolate cake, which contains, you know, chocolate?" DH: "I mean like CHOCCIE cake, which..." Me: "Contains chocolate?" DH: "I'm gonna eat that chocolate bar".

For the record, the man is a freaking genius.

Edited by Smokering - 6/13/11 at 4:16am

[Mamatoabunch]

I am going postal, post baby. Lots of pissy stuff, I feel sad baby is not in my belly anymore. I find all of it hard, end of pregnancy, after. It is such a momentous thing and change. Dh sleeps in the bitty room off ur bedroom b/c he snores and I need every second of sleep. So we go to bed at 11pm, after I know baby is out. I wake at 1:22 am to feed, the 5:30am. Go back to sleep after and dh sleeps from 11pm-8:46am, WTF? Come home from Church and picnic yesterday, all I ask is can you box up old directv things to mail today since you are going int town. Doesn't do it, doesn't hang up kids Church clothes, whatever. I sit from 6pm -10:45pm nursing. I threw stuff down the stairwell this morning and accidentally bopped dh on the head w/ k'nex, LOL, along w/ dirty diapers. Yelled and cried this morning. There is so much beauty in a new and so much angst and adjustment too. I feel irritated at times tied to the bed or chair nursing, I miss my more free self honestly.

I pay little attention to engagement. Baby comes out regardless. Enjoy these last days, they are hard, but there is something magical about them too. 

[jshannyn519]

Nikki, your body is doing EXACTLY what mine did! I starting having more noticeable contractions on May 20th that lasted until I had my stretch and sweep on May 31st. And then I lost my mucous plug and the ctx geared up another notch, but they'd go away EVERY night! I had a week of that until real labor set in Sunday night/Monday morning (6/5 and 6/6). I didn't have that experience with my other kids, labor just started with them without the endless warm up. The prodromal labor made me insane and I was such a cranky, grumpy, bitchy person! However, it was nice to be able to be a total cow to someone and then say "I've been in labor for 2 weeks. Don't you think you'd be a bit cranky as well?"

We do seem to have a lot of fast labors in this DDC! Mine wasn't super fast, but the last part was the most intense 45 minutes of my life! I wonder what's with all the fast labors? I wonder if it has something to do with no or low interventions during birth, trusting the process, being healthy, being ready, or all of the above? At any rate, it's pretty cool. :)

Today we need to run some errands. And since my kids are home from camp I have helpers! YAY!!!

I need to go get some ice-cream. I'm having a craving.

Oh, and baby Ezrah is a whole week old today! :)

[Snowflake777]

@Annabelle - Oh mama, I'm so sorry to hear you're having a hard time. :( What is it with men and monumental cluelessness?? That's the last thing you want to be dealing with when you have a tiny baby to care for. I hope things improve soon. These early weeks are so special, but so tough at the same time. 

Ah crap...I just found out that SIL has an ectopic pregnancy. :( I'm off to bake her some blueberry muffins and write her a nice card. She did the same for me when I had a m/c a few years back and it meant a lot to me. I hope she's doing ok. She works as an air hostess and has to fly again in a couple of days, so she doesn't even get time to recover properly. :(

[kawa kamuri]

Originally Posted by Mamatoabunch 

 There is so much beauty in a new and so much angst and adjustment too. 

Yes yes yes. Be gentle with yourself, sweet woman.

[slylives]

I was just about to write the same thing!
 

Originally Posted by Snowflake777 

Just had a huge fight with DH, overtired, pissed off, and generally stressing over how I'm going to deal with a newborn, a three year old, and a husband who refuses to help out with anything, ever, then plays the victim when I finally lose my patience with him. SO OVER IT. My house is a mess too, for the reasons described in the previous sentences.

[swimming-duck]

Annabelle - 

Men really do suck sometimes! Mine has been really cooperative with helping me to get our house cleaned/ organized before birthing day as far as doing the work, but he's been all attitude and pissy remarks the entire time. He constantly makes remarks about my "not doing anything" and yes, when it comes to organizing the house and getting a lot of our to do before baby gets here list done, I've sucked big time. BUT he's not working right now. I'm running a full-time licensed daycare and work from 6:45am-5:00pm or sometimes 8:00am - 4:00pm depending on the day five days a week! He is a full-time student and is on summer break. So pardon me for giving into my tired impulse to sit and do nothing at the end of my work day. Not to mention his most recent snotty comment was this morning after I spent a good half an hour weeding our garden outside while my daycare kiddos played. UGH!! I made a comment about how tired I was and he looked at me with disgust and said "Of course." in a sarcastic and belittling tone of voice. Ummm....hello...I'm growing a human here!!!  

Anyways, there's my vent for the day!

[Smokering]

Grr. It's probably just as well I'm not in labour today - DH has come down with a splitting headache and a mysterious pain in his side. So he's suffering in bed, instead of doing a bunch of before-the-baby-arrives work-related matters like he planned. Poor chap.

Just had a nice playdate with a friend who's 30 weeks pregnant. Now I have two hours before my MW appointment... and I think I might go back to bed.

[Momsteader]

Hugs to the mamas struggling!  The changes at the end of pregnancy and right after are big stuff to deal with! Then stir in the hormones and a new little person...ahhh what fun!?!? Hope it settles for you all.

Smokering, at least you're actually overdue before they're talking options. My OB called me on Friday (I'm just barely 39w by my 'earlier' due date from a later US that I don't really think is all that accurate anyway.....and more like just 39w this week) and suggested I might bring my hospital bag when I come in case he'd like to 'get things going' as I was already mostly effaced and 3 cm at last week's appt. This is all because I live *gasp* an hour drive from the hospital.  I'm not too concerned about it, and certainly won't be bringing my hospital bag!!

[Smokering]

CrunchyClark: Yikes! Does he routinely do prenatal cervical checks? 'Cause if he does, I think I'd want to be pretty clear about not letting him strip my membranes or break my waters or whatever at my next appointment, before he started digging around. Sounds a bit trigger-happy to me!

We did end up talking a bit about postdates stuff after all... my MW is pretty laid-back, but she said they usually do a BPP at ten days overdue - which I'm fine with. I was pleased to hear that a "low-level" induction doesn't automatically risk me out of the birthing centre. In other words, if we got to the stage of having done three days' worth of stretch-and-sweeps without me going into labour, but my cervix was favourable, she could do AROM at the birthing centre. I'd still be on the clock, obviously, and would probably have to transfer to the hospital if labour hadn't started within 12 hours (or 24 or whatever it is they do)... but it's not an automatic risk-out, which I think is fantastic! So that's something. My MW booked me an ultrasound for next Monday, but only because the free ultrasound place tends to book up quite fast; hopefully I'll have the baby before then and we can cancel it!

Had a trainee midwife there who did my palpation and fetoscoping today; she was nice, but kinda nervous. I'm a little uneasy that she might turn up for the birth - my MW asked me how I felt about that months ago (before I met the trainee MW) and I said I wasn't comfortable having anyone else present, but today she made some comment about "we'll wait for your call", ie. that I'm in labour. So maybe she's forgotten? I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to kick her out if she turned up, but I really don't want extra people around - heck, at times I'm not too sure I want my midwife herself around for the birth, let alone a trainee! Awkward.

[~Nikki~]

I had a trainee midwife do some of my exams over the past few months.  She's a total newbie, and several times accidentally grabbed my lady bits while fishing around to find the top of my pelvis for measurements.  She was also absolutely terrified of pressing into my belly at all to listen for the heartbeat, so there were several times she freaked me out by going "Uh there's no heartbeat."  Jeez kid, grow a brain!!  She was young, though.  I think first year med school?  She was doing her co-op placement there so it was fairly amusing.  Thankfully she's gone now, and the new co-op student is in her final year of school and has a better grasp on all the routine exams.

I'm tempted to ask for a sweep of membranes at my appointment this week.  I'm not normally the type to rush things along, but seriously...it's been a week and a half of contractions!  And not regular braxton hicks. These are timeable, painful (but tolerable), and HARD.  I can feel major cervix twinges with each one.  I haven't checked myself yet, because I'm terrified of my own vagina and would have no idea how to even find my cervix or know what it's supposed to feel like.  The midwives say they don't normally do a check because the progress is fairly meaningless.  But I'm hoping that because of the frequency of my contractions, they'll find it worthwhile?  I just want to know if they're at least productive contractions, or if they're total fail-contractions.  I go in on Thursday.  I guess we'll see.

And fail of fails, my mother called last week to tell me she'd be coming into town today, as her lovely new boyfriend has a meeting here and can they please sleep over.  They plan to crash on the living room floor on an air mattress...  I have zero ability to say no, so I didn't say no.  But I really wanted to say no!  I'll either be very very pregnant or very very post-partum, and either way I'll be a crabby mess in no shape to entertain house guests.  I don't like her boyfriend.  They've been together since September, are getting married in August (wtf?) and I have a distant enough relationship with my mother as it is.  Her new dude is like a grey-bearded infant, very demanding, very whiny, always has to be right, and is super obnoxious.  Plus they both smoke like crazy (we're non-smokers), and even though I'm sure they'll smoke outside or I'll kick them, the house is bound to be permeated with the smell in no time, especially since they'll be bringing their own bedding in.  I have a major aversion to the smell on the best of days, let alone while pregnant with crazy hyper bloodhound sense of smell.  This visit is going to make me mental.  I half hope I go into labour tonight just so I don't have to be here. =/

[tracymom1]

Originally Posted by Mamatoabunch 

I pay little attention to engagement. Baby comes out regardless. Enjoy these last days, they are hard, but there is something magical about them too. 

So wise and so true. Thank you for reminding us of this, AB.

We have been extremely busy the last few days and will be for the next of the week. I think I am feeling a little bit better about just relaxing my mind and letting what will be, be. Sunday DH and I had a wonderful date (his last Sunday off before he starts his regular schedule of 9am-11pm on Sundays... sigh...). We also went to a wonderful farmer's market with the kids and got some great local-ish produce. Hopefully the distractions of all the tasks I have this week will keep me busy enough to keep my mind off the stresses of still being pregnant!

Nikki and Holly - I am all about education but something about a student poking around my lady parts and fumbling around my pregnant belly gives me the willies. It was one of the reasons I broke up with my midwife from earlier in this pregnancy. She had a new student who just did not have one ounce of experience and I just couldn't handle it. She was there at my first visit where the midwife wanted her to check my uterine size with a bimanual exam and she stuck her finger in me and basically stabbed my cervix hard enough to make me jump up. Yeah, no thanks. I mean, I know we all need to start somewhere - but I was just not prepared for that! When I was a nursing student, we *practiced* on dummys and unconscious patients, if not each other. I think it helped with the comfort level once we had to actually perform procedures on conscious, speaking people.

Nikki - I cannot stand to have smokers staying in my house!! The smell is on EVERYTHING they carry with them - clothes, shoes, bedding - it is everywhere! Whenever we get gifts from my uncle, we literally have to air them out or just get rid of them immediately because they stink so bad. Hugs, mama! I hope the visit goes smoothly (or not at all - come on baby!!).

[Mamatoabunch]

Nikki, oh my goodness. I pray their visit is very short and uneventful.

[erigeron]

Nikki, that sounds horrid! Is there any way you can get your husband to be the bad guy and tell them they need to stay at a hotel for your peace of mind & health?

[swimming-duck]

Originally Posted by erigeron 

Nikki, that sounds horrid! Is there any way you can get your husband to be the bad guy and tell them they need to stay at a hotel for your peace of mind & health?

  

Seriously Nikki - I hate to suggest backing out of something you said yes to, but this does sound horrible and miserable. You deserve better during your final days of pregnancy and/or postpartum time. Pissed off people will get over it (if that's what you're worried about) - this is just not the time to tiptoe around other people's feelings. Just my two cents, but I just couldn't imagine dealing with all of that at this point in my pregnancy.

For those with the midwife trainee experiences, yikes - that sounds awful!

Smokering - I think I would definitely double check with my mw to make sure she understands you don't want the trainee present during your birth!

[Spinnerette]

I'm 40+3 today and I am so tired of being pregnant. Last Wednesday (39+5) I was 3-4cm dilated and was told "Okay, you probably have 24-48 hours.." Since then contractions have ramped up and faded away multiple times. I've lost way more mucus (some brown this time) and I've had loose stools for the last 2 days no matter what I eat. I'm exhausted, and have been talking two hour naps in the afternoons no matter how hard I resist. I've tried everything short of castor oil to try and help, I'm completely at a loss. 

Still. No. Baby. I'm getting really discouraged and starting to doubt myself, the baby, everything. I've never done this before, so I'm constantly on watch for the 'proceedings'. My husband has started filtering the "HAVE YOU HAD THE BABY" phone calls for me because I just can't take it anymore. I've been emotionally done since the week in hospital at the beginning of May with the threatened preterm birth stuff. 

How do you deal? I don't feel like starting any projects because I keep thinking, oh, she'll be here..

[~Nikki~]

Phew I think I dodged that bullet.  They just emailed me to let me know the meeting was never confirmed, so they won't be making it up this way after all.  They did, however, make sure to let me know they'll be up after baby's birth to "help".  I plan on putting a ban on visits for the first week, as much as I can. I know there will be drop-in's and even people coming to the hospital (unless I manage to escape 3 hours after the birth as planned!) but I hope to stall on the visits for as long as I can.  There are a lot of non-breastfeeding-friendly people in the family, and the last thing I want while I"m on my constant nurse-athon in those early weeks is judgemental scowls or rude comments that make me feel uncomfortable in my own home.

[kawa kamuri]

Originally Posted by Spinnerette 

How do you deal? 

I nap when I can. I feel defeated, give up, concede and realise no matter what I do it's only busy work that gives me the illusion that I have any control. I try really hard to honour this time and to take the lessons of patience and humility. But mostly I'm grumpy and sweep my floors and do laundry and cannot sleep and field phone calls and comments from strangers and ask the baby please baby please we all want to meet you and practice hypnosis which I'm horribly bored of and decide that I am in fact going to be pregnant forever. At least once a day I cry. Logically I know it will be soon but emotionally I'm all over the place.

I'm not quite in the tight place you are birth and care provider wise but I do have a NST scheduled for Friday, a BPP for Monday and on my next MW appointment will have an induction date set and the looming threat of losing my homebirth. I don't personally feel too antsy about that stuff but it's out there and still stressful. 

Mostly I wanted to give you 

[naturals]

I had a unsuccesful VBAC this time, and my midwife has had a trainee all this while checking me and I was ok with it coz I dont mind helping someone learning.But during labor, she checked me and said I was 9 and an hour or so later of grunting and pushing when I had started to bleed more, my midwife checked me and told me I am not 9 but 5!! so henceforth in my life I will never let a trainee ever check my insides.They can do all the other things like heartbeat, fundal measurement etc etc but nothing inside, even non pregnancy related.