post #81 of 81

We are planning a HBAC waterbirth with a midwife pair (CNM and CPM).  Both are older and wiser and more experienced then I; that's part of why I chose them.  Last time I found a midwife/medwife practice that was hospital based.  The medwife panicked unnecessarily and we ended up with the OB and a c/s.  Everything went "right" and I healed great, baby never left, hubby was with us all the way, Doc was great, etc.  And I still don't want to feel forced into a premature c/s again.  (The practice was 3 midwives-- I trusted 2 and felt good about their practice, but drew the third as the on-call the day I went into labor--wouldn't you know!).  


So my home midwives have tons of experience in and out of the hospital, one trained with Ina May.  And most importantly to me, they clearly trust the process, they trust me and my body, and they are SO supportive.  I actually crave going to see them for my appointments knowing it is like visiting with dear aunties over tea.  


And I have (at their suggestion) an appointment with a pro-HB/natural birth/waterbirth OB doc who is 25 miles away, to get on his radar (and caseload) in case we need to transfer to hospital for any non-emergent reason.  If it becomes and emergency, I have a fabulous hospital and children's hospital a mile away and it will be 911 and a short ride in a truck with a crew.  My midwives have transferred to close hospital and been well received before, so I'm feeling okay about it if we need it.  


I feel great about all of this.  I work in a high-risk L&D hospital, and I'm even telling my staff people that I'm planning a HB.  The part I am dreading is the conversation with my MIL.  I expect she will be afraid and horrified and pull out all the stops.  Last week she hinted that we should choose the hospital close to her so she could easily visit, and I gently reminded her we have a great hospital just a mile away.  I know-- I totally chickened out about telling her.  I expect we'll have to have that conversation soon, since she is in town and will be expecting to care for our 3 year old when birth-day arrives.  But I won't want her at the birth, and I do want my 3 year old to have the option, so we're making other arrangements for her to have an auntie/friend who can tend her.  


I'd love to hear how others have handled family who disagree.  It won't change my mind by any stretch.  And I know no amount of education or articles or reassurance will likely change MIL's fear. Thoughts?