Just an update
to let you all know we reconciled the first week in January, after 1 year and 5 month physical separation. We have been together 5 months now and things are going very well. We have worked through a lot of issues, are seeing a marriage therapist on a very regular basis, and get out without the kids at least every weekend and usually for a few hours on a weeknight as well. The kids are so happy and doing well.
We never got lawyers involved, we never burned any bridges, we stayed (fairly) respectful and kind to each other through out, he was paying me a generous child support once we had split our money (which wasn't until May 1st of 2010, about 9 months after he moved out, otherwise we still had a joint checking account).
I have learned a ton while we were apart, and have been a much happier person, even before the reconciliation. I think that is part of why he wanted to reconcile. And he has grown up quite a lot as well.
Best wishes to all,