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Someone Please Fill Me In On Intactivism? - Page 5

post #81 of 96

God, I am SO GLAD I got all this info before my baby is born.  I didn't know ANYTHING about circumcision except that I thought it "looked better" and that most guys I knew were circumcised.  Now, I know that if this baby is a boy, there's NO WAY I will circumcise him.  I am also deeply blessed to have a husband who trusts me to make that decision.  When I told him about the research I'd done and that I'd decided that I didn't want to circumcise the baby if we have a boy, he nodded and said that was fine with him if that's what I wanted.  He didn't take it personally, even though he's circumcised (I worried he would).

 

So grateful for this forum!!!

post #82 of 96
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsKatie View Post

God, I am SO GLAD I got all this info before my baby is born.  I didn't know ANYTHING about circumcision except that I thought it "looked better" and that most guys I knew were circumcised.  Now, I know that if this baby is a boy, there's NO WAY I will circumcise him.  I am also deeply blessed to have a husband who trusts me to make that decision.  When I told him about the research I'd done and that I'd decided that I didn't want to circumcise the baby if we have a boy, he nodded and said that was fine with him if that's what I wanted.  He didn't take it personally, even though he's circumcised (I worried he would).

 

So grateful for this forum!!!


I know, right? I got my first born done cuz I thought it was what everyone was doing and his pediatrician said it would be more beneficial to have it done. He was Jewish(dont have anything against them, I just know that they push circ more), so I think his professional opinion was really biased. I was only told that the risks of circ were minimal. I was never told any benefits of leaving my son intact, which I think is wrong.
 

 

post #83 of 96

I think maybe most peds still advocate circ b/c they aren't educated on the benefits of being intact and of the new info that all the old benefits of being circ were actually disproven. I think it is hard to make a decision based on goggleing though b/c a lot of sites still say circ is cleaner, healthier, prevents UTIs etc but they are all misinformed which is why the AAP had to change it's views and there is no medical reason for it. It was all BS.

post #84 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsKatie View Post

God, I am SO GLAD I got all this info before my baby is born.  I didn't know ANYTHING about circumcision except that I thought it "looked better" and that most guys I knew were circumcised.  Now, I know that if this baby is a boy, there's NO WAY I will circumcise him.  I am also deeply blessed to have a husband who trusts me to make that decision.  When I told him about the research I'd done and that I'd decided that I didn't want to circumcise the baby if we have a boy, he nodded and said that was fine with him if that's what I wanted.  He didn't take it personally, even though he's circumcised (I worried he would).

 

So grateful for this forum!!!

joy.gif   Yay!  And congrats!!
 

 

post #85 of 96
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

I think maybe most peds still advocate circ b/c they aren't educated on the benefits of being intact and of the new info that all the old benefits of being circ were actually disproven. I think it is hard to make a decision based on goggleing though b/c a lot of sites still say circ is cleaner, healthier, prevents UTIs etc but they are all misinformed which is why the AAP had to change it's views and there is no medical reason for it. It was all BS.


I wish there was some way to have pediatricians update their practices. It SHOULD be mandatory, or more people will be getting hurt or sick.
 

 

post #86 of 96

That's totally true but it seems to be getting more and more ignorant anyway. They learn little to nothing about BFing and they no longer teach OBs how to handle a vaginal breech birth so...I don't think we are going in the right direction with anything really. So things you would certainly expect your ped/OB to have knowledge of well they just don't. I mean how many of us have had peds saying to just put the baby on formula with any and all questions we have about BFing? Granted circ is a million times worse than just FF but the point is they are educated in what makes money. Circ makes money, formula, c-sections...etc etc.

post #87 of 96
Thread Starter 

They wouldn't teach an OB to deliver a breech baby. The OB doesn't want to be sued for any complications with a breech birth, so they would rather give the patient a c-section. It's all about protecting their legal reputation and how much money they can get.

post #88 of 96

Yeah I know. It is very unfortunate though.

post #89 of 96

Fortunately my DH was on board when I started talking about leaving our sons intact.  Our boys, now 6, have noticed that daddy looks "peeled" (like a banana I guess -- their term LOL) and they don't.  We just explained that DH's mom & dad were told by doctors back then that he had to have (painful) surgery, and so his parents consented to it.  But both we and the doctors know better now, and so we didn't have the painful surgery done to them.

post #90 of 96

I wish I had all this info before my boys were born. DH and I had discussions about it before the oldest was born, and I didn't like the idea, but I didn't have any good info on it like I do now. Also, my mom, told me that they didn't circ my brother at first (my father wasn't either), but ended up having to do it for medical reasons when he was 4. That convinced me that I should have it done. Now I'm thinking that it may have not been necessary for my brother, but uninformed doctors pushed it. If this next one is a boy, I am not going to have it done. Now I have to get DH to agree with me. I know he will argue that he doesn't want this baby to look different from his three brothers. Any help with that argument? (I'm really hoping that this one is a girl just so we don't have to have the argument.)

post #91 of 96

I watched that YouTube video posted earlier in this thread and screeched, omg. I almost wish now that I didn't know that's how circ is done! greensad.gif I don't know if I missed where this might've been covered on the thread or not, but do they really not use anesthetic of any kind during that procedure? Or do they use local anesthetic at least? My heart is breaking right now for babies going through that. I don't understand why female circumcision is widely accepted as genital mutilation and outlawed, but for boys it's seen as normal. duh.gif Before we found out that we're expecting a girl, I had a discussion with DH about whether or not we'd circumcise a boy. Thankfully, he has been open to pretty much anything natural that I've wanted during my pregnancy, childbirth, and future parenting - so he is okay with whatever I want to do. He wasn't opposed to circumcision at all. He does see how it is unnecessary, though. I'm so thankful that he is able to view things from a logical standpoint from all perspectives and not rush to judgment quickly. We don't have to worry about the circ issue this time around, but I'm so glad to have learned a lot about this.

 

Oh, and I am shocked by the fact that most people are misinformed about early retraction of an uncirc-ed boy... I had no idea it shouldn't just be retracted and cleaned right away until I read this thread! Wow. My brother is uncirc-ed because my parents adopted him from Guatemala at 9 months of age. They said it was no big deal and he hasn't dealt with any hardships because of it. But my dad is also a doctor, and so both of my parents always said that an uncirc-ed penis needs to be retracted and cleaned regularly. They have never mentioned a waiting period before cleaning because of a need for natural retraction. Growing up with parents with a strong and valued opinion in the medical community, where people really trust that whatever they're told is accurate and best, has given me a firsthand perspective of how easily inaccurate information can sway the masses. greensad.gif This really upsets me. I made the mistake of mentioning to my mom recently that we were going to co-sleep with the baby...... she didn't understand what I was telling her. She was like, "Oh, you mean having the cradle in the bedroom with you?" and I said, "No... the baby in bed with me." I smacked myself in the head and knew she was going to start voicing her unwelcome concerns about smothering the baby, etc. And boy did she! I calmly responded with, "If you read the research on those cases, Mom, you will understand more. Your view is based on fears voiced in the media. There is a lot more to it than that. It's a personal decision, so that's fine if you don't agree with it." She tried refuting it more but I quickly changed the subject.

 

I'm so tired of mainstream viewpoints about everything regarding pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and parenting! It's killing me! help.gif I still can't come to terms with the fact that anything we women do that is "natural" seems to be shunned these days. It makes me angry with the world. I'm super supportive of people making whatever decisions they want for their families, and I would never want to force my own opinion on them or seem judgmental in any way! I'm just a really big supporter of informed consent, and I get really upset when uninformed people voice their opinions to others and sway their views without proper knowledge. greensad.gif That seems to be all that I encounter these days... a complete lack of informed consent.

post #92 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdhappy85 View Post

I don't know if I missed where this might've been covered on the thread or not, but do they really not use anesthetic of any kind during that procedure? Or do they use local anesthetic at least?

 

This depends on the doctor performing the surgery.  Many will use a local, but apparently the efficacy of a local is in dispute.  I know from my own experiences that the local often wears off quickly and only works for the very top layers of skin.  Once you cut or poke below that, there's usually full feeling.  So it is not uncommon for doctors forgo the painkillers b/c of this- saying it's just better to get it over with quicker. 

 

Quote:
I'm so tired of mainstream viewpoints about everything regarding pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and parenting! It's killing me! help.gif I still can't come to terms with the fact that anything we women do that is "natural" seems to be shunned these days. It makes me angry with the world. I'm super supportive of people making whatever decisions they want for their families, and I would never want to force my own opinion on them or seem judgmental in any way! I'm just a really big supporter of informed consent, and I get really upset when uninformed people voice their opinions to others and sway their views without proper knowledge. greensad.gif That seems to be all that I encounter these days... a complete lack of informed consent.

nod.gif  ITA!

 

post #93 of 96

Honestly, hubby is not but my sons are. This a good question. Really goos feedback too.

post #94 of 96

Chena- your husband is intact, but you circumcised your boys? That's so unusual.  May I ask why?

post #95 of 96

Yeah that is very unusual....

 

So from what *I* personally experienced in my past profession as a nurse aide, the circs I have seen (in a BIG name hospital in NE) they literally just put sugar on a binky and popped it in the mouth right before they cut them. They said "it was enough of a distraction" NO pain meds period....it was absolutely horrifying. The babies I saw mostly went into shock and/or passed out..followed by unbelievable screaming...

post #96 of 96
Thread Starter 

I'm just thoroughly glad that I am making the decision by myself to leave this one intact. My ex would not have approved at all, just cuz "he had it done". Seriously, if God had thought it was better for boys to have the skin pulled back, or appear cut, they would have been born that way. I really regret and recently kind of grieved for my first son, who I got circumcised, because I was told it was more beneficial to him(17 years old, young and dumb, gullible, mainstream). I feel so horrible for the pain he went through, and the pain he endured as a toddler, because he had to be recut a tad bit, because the skin was pulling(circumcision was done too tight).

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