Originally posted by Lalaland42:
Originally Posted by Lillitu
I haven't seen this- have you experienced it personally? I do know that someone spanked their kid and then asked not to be bashed (on an AP board! I don't get that...)
Isn't that what Snapdragon is asking for? If you ever spanked your child, no matter how repentant you are, you don't belong. And no, I don't think that you should bash someone for saying that they spanked and didn't want to do it again before asking for different strategies. Answering politely and constructively might mean that child never gets spanked again. Can't unring a bell and alla that.
FTR, I have never spanked either of my children.
Sorry, have not read the whole thread, but have been following the "shakedown" on MDC for some time. Like a few other posters, I feel that I have little weight, being so new and post counts are thrown around to indicate rank, etc. So, I must just respond to this. By which I mean this assertion and the general upset going on at MDC.
I am a repentant and recovering spanker. I had lurked for a long time on MDC but really came here (I remember the day and the post) because I was lost, I lost my cool, I didn't understand my child or our relationship and I spanked him. I grew up spanked and my parents are really conservative, and I didn't know how to handle parenting. I posted a thread and was sure to be flamed. But the advice that I got - that stuck, and that I remember - was to be gentle with myself too. Move forward and do good works. I have never and will never spank a child again. Ever. But remember, gentleness is not just for children. It's for everyone.
It's not about who's unacceptable, its about the good works we can do for kids and parents. I'm now an advocate for gentle discipline (in a HIGH SPANK - HIGHLY ANTI-NFP area) and that's hard, but it matters. It doesn't go well, much of the time (two of my good friends just reaffirmed that they'll be circumcising - after emotional debates with me ) but I honestly wouldn't be the advocate I am without being able to come here and grow.
I've grown and gone on a long journey, where I've actually adopted principles of nonviolence and found a bit of spirituality I hadn't before. Not ON the community, mind you, but in some instances, BECAUSE of... it's that impetus, that spark...
The issue, the reason participation is down, the reason why long timers are pissed off, the reason why newcomers are pissed off... the site and company has lost it's message in logo. Heck, the whole reason I got the message wasn't the magazine, it was the people on the forum! Money issues for sustainability is one thing. Paper less - okay, discontinue the mag. I get that. But all the jockeying for position, the thread closings, the solicitations, denoting critical members as "trolls," the starting of inflammatory threads and then transfer to facebook... all in pursuit of ads and money?
If Mothering is that hard up - go NPO for heaven's sake. Guess what? I wouldn't ever get a subscription to Mothering, but I sure would donate to an advocacy organization. And the label of supporter being so upset because the mag was cut after the solicits were made - tsk. Bad dealings.
Mothering has a decision - be a business or be an advocate. They obviously cannot do both. I am just grateful that I met advocates here that helped me improve my parenting and relationships. For that I am grateful, regardless of the outcome.