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Rent/Mortgage with One Income - Page 3

post #41 of 49

I agree with a lot that has been said.  I bought my house before I was married and we decided to NOT upgrade when we got married and doubled our income.  Worked out great when I decided to quit my career.  However, TBH, a lot of it is really is just career choice.  If you have a partner that makes really good money, you can stay home without financial worries.  Sometimes it's not about anything you are doing *now* but about choices you made 10, 20, 30 years ago.  And... age helps, too.  We're in our 40's and 50's and I can imagine that what we do would be more difficult if we tried this 20 - 25 years ago.  There are a lot of factors and individual situations are too unique to really say what will and won't allow parents to financially be secure on one income.

post #42 of 49

This is my family as well.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bokonon View Post

I live in a high cost of living area and have been a SAHM since my first was born over 6 years ago.

 

My husband has a good salary.  We budget pretty well.  We don't go on expensive vacations.  We sold our house at the height of the market and paid off our cars and student loans, so we have no debt.  That helps tremendously.

 

We are very lucky though, and realize that.



 

post #43 of 49

LOL! This won't help you at all, but we actually live in an abandoned house. Of course, when you think of that you think of a totally decimated old place with broken windows and rats living in it, but that's not the case. I'm friends with a couple who lost everything and could no longer afford their home. They packed up what they had left, moved to the mainland and abandoned the house to the bank - who doesn't want it! So basically, it's been sitting for two years and nobody will take it. My friend asked my husband and I to move in with our daughter because they couldn't care less about the house now and have moved on. The bank refuses to foreclose. It's a weird situation that has worked in our favor. We get a gorgeous 3 bedroom house for nothing at all.

 

So yeah, we don't pay rent. You may be able to find a similar situation "house sitting," but I don't know where you'd look. Before we lived here, we paid $500 a month for a little efficiency on the back of someone's farm. But living in Hawaii is WAAAAAY different from living on the mainland. I'm not sure how people on the mainland do it. Things are a lot easier here and people care less about having less. A run-down old place here is nice by Hawaii standards.

post #44 of 49

wow that is an interesting situation!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by amberskyfire View Post

LOL! This won't help you at all, but we actually live in an abandoned house. Of course, when you think of that you think of a totally decimated old place with broken windows and rats living in it, but that's not the case. I'm friends with a couple who lost everything and could no longer afford their home. They packed up what they had left, moved to the mainland and abandoned the house to the bank - who doesn't want it! So basically, it's been sitting for two years and nobody will take it. My friend asked my husband and I to move in with our daughter because they couldn't care less about the house now and have moved on. The bank refuses to foreclose. It's a weird situation that has worked in our favor. We get a gorgeous 3 bedroom house for nothing at all.

 

So yeah, we don't pay rent. You may be able to find a similar situation "house sitting," but I don't know where you'd look. Before we lived here, we paid $500 a month for a little efficiency on the back of someone's farm. But living in Hawaii is WAAAAAY different from living on the mainland. I'm not sure how people on the mainland do it. Things are a lot easier here and people care less about having less. A run-down old place here is nice by Hawaii standards.



 

post #45 of 49

We had to move way out of the city to afford a place, but for us it's worth it. We were so not 'city folk' when we moved from Indiana to a suburb of Washington DC. We wanted a home and knew we'd have to move out to do it.. and that was a sacrifice we would make. My DH makes average salary, but we've come from making MUCH less (18k) so I guess we are okay with budgeting because of that. We don't buy new cars, we don't go on huge vacations (but we do treat ourselves!).. we live pretty moderately.. not as frugal as we once did, but not a jet setter lifestyle. I am very thankful for what we have.

post #46 of 49

We had to get rid of a car, cable, and cell phones.  BFing and CDing baby #2 and three with mostly handme down diapers -our stash was originally bought with inheritance from DHs grandpa-has helped with costs too.  Our parents do help us with groceries.  DH is a teacher and works summers to pay for extraneous things like fence and car repairs (last year was carpeting)

post #47 of 49

Good for you for thinking and planning ahead.  Our rent is exceedingly low for the area and for the fact that we have acreage.  It's low in part because we're renting from my parents - but they rented it out before at around this price in part because the house is a SERIOUS fixer-upper and the property is A LOT of work.   So, you can find reasonable rent if you're willing to accept less than what is sold to you on television as how real people live.

 

I love what an earlier commenter wrote about simplified eating - I LOVE to try fabulous new recipes too, but the budget can't handle it.  No cable here (just a television with no reception so we use it for movies), no credit cards, no debt (bought older vehicles and paid cash), very little eating out, even less vacationing.  When we do "vacation" it's usually to an event related to DH's business so we can write off most of the expenses.  If not, it's staying in a friend's cabin, etc...  We raise our own beef, pork and chickens/eggs and sell some of it so that pays for our own consumption of the meat and eggs.  We grow a garden - cheap way to get organic food!  I hang clothes on the line and (when I'm being good - I'm off the wagon right now), we cloth diaper. I breastfeed and we feed our children what we're eating - no store-bought baby food, etc...  We shop yard sales and thrift stores (don't remember the last time anyone had storebought clothes).   Like Chicky2 we have learned to live with things that other people go out and fix/replace immediately.  For instance, my dishwasher hasn't worked for months...my washing machine doesn't work right but it's good enough for now...and the dryer timer doesn't work so if you use it you have to pay attention and not let it run all day.  We do have money set aside to replace all three, but we'll get by until a killer deal comes along.  A few years back 3 of my stove burners didn't work at all and the element in my oven went out.  Fortunately it was summer and we got by with that one burner and the BBQ - then someone we knew was remodeling a home and gave us a double oven and a new stove!  My carpet is atrocious (I said the home was a fixer upper) and we just get by.  (Okay, my A/C has been out in the van for 2 years - and finally I did tell DH that I WANT it fixed ASAP!  But, by God's provision and because we live frugally, we have cash set aside to take care of that.)

 

To be honest, in my opinion, two of the best things you can do is a) begin living on one income right away - sock the other away in savings and b) dump the magazines and television shows that make you think that what you see in/on them is how "regular people" live.  IT'S NOT!!!  At least, it's not for regular people who are living (within their means) on one income. 

 

I cannot tell you the peace that comes from having no payments to make, very little stress ever over money, and getting to raise my own children!  I've been on the other side of this fence and I'd eat beans and rice every day of my life not to have to go back there again!  (Oh...and there are 6 of us at home right now...another on the way...and we live on about $40k/year.)

post #48 of 49

I am a SAHM and I have been since my first daughter was born. Currently I live in a "weird" situation. ex-H and I had been together since I was 15. I got pregnant and married at 16 and had DD1 at 17 and DD2 at 20. After 6 years of being together I realized that I was gay and we parted ways. About a year after separating and neither one of us being able to make it ex-H, myself, my partner and my two DD's moved in together. We share a 3 bedroom apartment and it works for us. DP and I pay 1/3 of the rent and utilites and ex-h pays 2/3 and the phone bill. It allows me to stay home, ex-H to keep his job and see his kids (he has to be at work at 2am so if we didn't live together he would only see them on the weekend), and my DP to go to school and work part-time. Its not something that we plan on doing forever, but for right now it works.

post #49 of 49


This is actually a really cool situations! I love that you two are able to live as roomies so the kids get both parents and Dad gets to see them every day. Seems like it works for everybody. :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by hippiemombian View Post

I am a SAHM and I have been since my first daughter was born. Currently I live in a "weird" situation. ex-H and I had been together since I was 15. I got pregnant and married at 16 and had DD1 at 17 and DD2 at 20. After 6 years of being together I realized that I was gay and we parted ways. About a year after separating and neither one of us being able to make it ex-H, myself, my partner and my two DD's moved in together. We share a 3 bedroom apartment and it works for us. DP and I pay 1/3 of the rent and utilites and ex-h pays 2/3 and the phone bill. It allows me to stay home, ex-H to keep his job and see his kids (he has to be at work at 2am so if we didn't live together he would only see them on the weekend), and my DP to go to school and work part-time. Its not something that we plan on doing forever, but for right now it works.



 

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