Personal Question (bathroom)

[mommy212]

So I know I am not the only one whose toddler loves to follow them in the bathroom, and not the only one whose period has begun again... So, what do you do with a little one in the bathroom while on your period? DS loves to help by handing me toilet paper, etc, and recently has begun to be more interested in what we are actually *doing* on the toilet, so he pays a lot of attention. I feel very awkward having him in there during that time though :/ What do you ladies do? Not allow them in the bathroom? Ignore it? Explain what's happening? 

[mamacolleen]

I just tell her what's going on. DD is 2 and is generally right in the bathroom with me when I'm going. She seems interested/vaguely concerned for my well-being when I have my period so I just tell her that I'm fine, that when girls get older they have bleed once a month and it's normal and it will happen to her. Of course I know she doesn't really understand much of that but she will one day and I hope to normalize the whole thing for her. I would do the same with DS at that age too. Not much is a taboo topic for conversation in our house. It's a normal part of life. When she's a little older and doesn't need to follow me everywhere I go (not sure when that age will be!), then she won't need to witness the whole thing but we'll still talk about it as if it's a normal part of life.

[crunchy_mommy]

Hahahaa DS likes to hand me my cloth pads which he calls my "diapers"

Yeah I just explain what's happening in the most basic terms. We continue on as normal. I may prefer my privacy but I don't seem to have much choice in the matter!!

[hildare]

:(  my poor dd would just chant uh-OH mommy!  boo boo!  boo boo!  and i could not convince her otherwise.  hopefully no more periods anytime soon, though.  she did however keep pointing at the + hpt that i left sitting classily on display and announce PEE PEE!  PEE PEE. 

[meemee]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

Hahahaa DS likes to hand me my cloth pads which he calls my "diapers"

Yeah I just explain what's happening in the most basic terms. We continue on as normal. I may prefer my privacy but I don't seem to have much choice in the matter!!

 this was us too. mommy diapers dd called them.

however they do get over the curiosity phase. and then its time to whip out the step stool, sit on it and grill your mom.

i've had my most meaningful, deep philosophical discussions while going poo with dd sitting on the stool. this continued till dd was about 4. she was so lost in thought and grilling me that i dont think she really paid attention to what's going on. the other place we had discussions were the car. so i am assuming she liked close spaces to do this kind of discussion.

let me tell you while today i still look at the stool with sweet memories, at that time whenever i saw her pull out the stool, my stomach would drop coz i'd have to think fast on my toes and figure out how to answer your questions. 

the thing is i never felt akward. i just found it really funny. and mainly i was just so grateful i wasnt holding her anymore and trying to use toilet paper. 
 

[Mittsy]

Has anyone else had their ds ask "mommy WHY did you cut your penis off?"

[meemee]

 no but i've had a dd who desperately wanted a penis so she could stand and pee. for once my mama brain came through and bought her those plastic ketchup and mustard plastic bottles. and there was her penis. she would fill them up and then hold it in her penis area and pee away to glory. 

[rubidoux]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy 

Hahahaa DS likes to hand me my cloth pads which he calls my "diapers"

Yeah I just explain what's happening in the most basic terms. We continue on as normal. I may prefer my privacy but I don't seem to have much choice in the matter!!

Same here.  When my older was 4.5 I got pg with my second so I didn't have a period for all of 13 mos (so bummed it didn't stay away awhile longer).  At that point it seemed natural to insist that it was okay for me to use the bathroom without him.  And when he's home my little guy would usually rather be with him than me, so there's no getting upset bc little brother is allowed, iykwim.  My two year old has looked at my pad and said,  "poop!"  lol  Makes sense as long as he's calling the pad a diaper.  

[swd12422]

Originally Posted by Mittsy 

Has anyone else had their ds ask "mommy WHY did you cut your penis off?"

Um, no. DS is convinced I actually HAVE ONE, even though I clearly don't, and he's at eye level when I get out of the shower. I'm not sure where he thinks I keep it!

[sweetpeppers]

LOL, I have totally considered asking this question on here before. I just tell him that it's something women get every month when they aren't having babies. It does make me a little awkward, but shrug.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by swd12422 

Um, no. DS is convinced I actually HAVE ONE, even though I clearly don't, and he's at eye level when I get out of the shower. I'm not sure where he thinks I keep it!

AHA!!!! so that's where the detachable penis went 
 

[Katielady]

Originally Posted by Mittsy 

Has anyone else had their ds ask "mommy WHY did you cut your penis off?"

Ha! No but when DS was a few months short of five, he was in a public one-seater bathroom with me, and asked why girls use toilet paper when they pee and boys don't. I explained the basic anatomical reason and he absorbed that for a few minutes. Then as we were walking out, he said, "Boys have a penis, but girls just have a butt."

As a few PPs have said, both my kids are totally fascinated when I get my period, and I try to just treat it like no big deal. It was weird for me at first, because we women are so used to being very mum about our periods and we like a lot of privacy around it, but I've found that the more I treat it as normal with my kids, the more I *feel* normal about it, and feel less embarrassed. There's so much shame attached to menstruation and it's liberating to release oneself from that. Just another way that kids are our teachers. :)

[childsplay]

I guess I'm the unpopular opinion here. I simply don't let them in the bathroom. With the exception of them being wee infants in their basket on the bathroom floor while I showered, I never felt it nesessary for them to be in the bathroom with me. Nor do I/did I want them in there. I've always said "just a sec, Mama's got to pee" and shut the door. If they howled so be it, there's no way in heck they're watching me change my tampon. Some things IMO, just need to be done in private.

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by swd12422 

Um, no. DS is convinced I actually HAVE ONE, even though I clearly don't, and he's at eye level when I get out of the shower. I'm not sure where he thinks I keep it!

My DS too!! He's always saying, "Mommy has a penis and a vulva." Then he gets sooo upset when I explain I don't, because I'm a girl, and he says he wants me to be a boy. Then when that doesn't work he says he wants to be a girl. So he asks for my hair elastic so he can have a ponytail and 'be a girl' (don't ask me why he thinks having a ponytail means he's a girl, I've tried to explain otherwise but it's lost on him).

[purplerose]

I just told the kids it was my period and it happens "every month". It really helped be able to talk about bodies/sex when the kids were exposed to that kind of stuff without it being weird. They'd hand me a tampon, and my third got to where she ran in the bathroom to hand me a tampon *every time* I went LOL

What's funny was when I caught one of them as a toddler sticking a tampon in their belly button :) They are very interesting and fun for toddlers, as they come apart and open up!

[D_McG]

When they start asking questions like that is when I demand my privacy.  Not at that moment but going forward.  I just say something basic at the time but it's my cue to change things.

[Katielady]

Originally Posted by childsplay 

I guess I'm the unpopular opinion here. I simply don't let them in the bathroom. With the exception of them being wee infants in their basket on the bathroom floor while I showered, I never felt it nesessary for them to be in the bathroom with me. Nor do I/did I want them in there. I've always said "just a sec, Mama's got to pee" and shut the door. If they howled so be it, there's no way in heck they're watching me change my tampon. Some things IMO, just need to be done in private.

Just curious- what do you do when you're out with them in a public bathroom? I always feel unsafe in a crowded multi-stall bathroom having them roam around, so in the stall with me they go.

[childsplay]

Originally Posted by Katielady 

Just curious- what do you do when you're out with them in a public bathroom? I always feel unsafe in a crowded multi-stall bathroom having them roam around, so in the stall with me they go.

They're older now so it's a non issue, but when they were toddlers and I was in a spot where I had no choice but to use a public washroom I either parked their stroller right outside the stall where I could see through the crack in the door or dragged the stroller in to the handicapped stall and turned it facing the door.

[rubidoux]

Originally Posted by childsplay 

They're older now so it's a non issue, but when they were toddlers and I was in a spot where I had no choice but to use a public washroom I either parked their stroller right outside the stall where I could see through the crack in the door or dragged the stroller in to the handicapped stall and turned it facing the door.

I was curious about this, too.  I had everyone come in the stall with me until not that long ago.  And Milo's 7 1/2.  Also wondering if you shower in front of them and, if not, how do you take a shower if you're alone in the house with toddlers?  I have a few times allowed Milo and Augie to hang out together in the living room while I take the fastest shower ever with the door open.  But I wouldn't be doing that if it wasn't true that Augie always finds something to get in trouble with in the bathroom.  He's 2 1/4, btw.

I don't see any reason that you shouldn't draw a line regarding being alone in the bathroom.  I'm pretty sure my husband's done that.  I just can't wrap my mind around how I would make it happen.  Also, I wonder how it affects potty learning, especially for a first child who doesn't see a sibling using the bathroom.  Do you sit them down at some point and tell them how it works?

[swd12422]

DS is always in the stall with me in public, and will be until I can trust him not to TOUCH EVERY NASTY-LOOKING THING ON THE FLOOR. Sorry. That was my day yesterday. I'm still not over it, apparently. ;-)

But I have been wondering about all this too, as I think it's much easier to be open with a girl about menstruation since they will experience it at some point. But boys, yeah... I have no idea how to explain it in 3-year-old terms and also wonder when I need to start drawing the line about him being in the bathroom/shower with me. We joke about how he's going to be scarred for life if he has any memories of my (woefully imperfect, overweight, middle-aged) body. Yeah, I said it (tongue-in-cheek). And I'm trying my hardest to show him there's no shame there. But really, does a 3-year-old need to see his mommy naked? It just seems like it's different with opposite-sex kids/parents rather than same-sex.