Do you keep in touch?

[Camomille]

I would appreciate to hear some opinions from more experienced foster parents - do you keep in touch in cases where a child is suddenly moved after only a short stay with you? In what way do you keep in touch? I'm in doubt about what is best for the child. Part of me wants to just move on, and call and say we are open for a new assignment. But I can't stop thinking of this child.

In our case the child was moved because some issues surfaced that were previously unknown. We have younger children and were advised not to continue.

[Tigerchild]

I have, but generally only with teens and tweens and because they also actively pursued contact.  I only did respite, so these were all short term stay kids (though some more than once).

[Tjej]

IIRC, the child was moved from you to an orphanage.  I don't see why it would harm a child to have a long-term auntie and uncle who came to visit or did special things for them.  We all need to feel special, and from what I understand of orphanages there aren't as many opportunities for that kind of attention.

But, I'm also just talking about what I think and have no evidence for these thoughts. :)

Tjej

[Polliwog]

I have a foster parent friend who stays in touch with all of her former kids (ones who went home, to relatives, and who were adopted.) I think it's wonderful. We're in touch with DS's first foster family and DS's older sister is in touch with us and her former foster family (the one that isn't crazy.)

[Smithie]

If this child has been placed in an orphanage, then what I'd do is call up the worker at the orphanage and see what she thinks. I would not be surprised if she's enthusiastic about an ongoing "auntie" relationship. 

... and simultaneously, I'd call your worker and tell her you are ready for another placement, because that's part of the process of moving on with your life. 

[Camomille]

Thank you for your replies! As it happens, bio mom doesn't want us to keep in touch, so that's that. We have told the caseworker we are ready for another assignment.

[Polliwog]

Was the child moved back home? If not, it's strange that she gets a say. I guess it's different there, though.