So did the mods really just leave us on our own here?

[MamitaM]

Do any of the rules even apply anymore and is MDC about to go down the toilette? No more bannings?

[Mosaic]

Nope, we're still here!

This question has come up a few times recently. Yes, a lot of the rules that we had in the older UA don't apply anymore, but some really important ones still do. I think we're all still getting the hang of the new UA, members and mods alike. That said, we made this change trusting that our members could keep MDC a nice place to be and hold fruitful discussions without strict restrictions, so we rely on your reports and, well, general good behavior.

[AdinaL]

There are still rules. We do have a User Agreement founds here: http://mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement

Mosaic explained it pretty well. :)

[Sharlla]

I like that the forums arent being heavily moderated anymore. I seriously considered leaving MDC because of it. 

[mambera]

Originally Posted by Sharlla 

I like that the forums arent being heavily moderated anymore. I seriously considered leaving MDC because of it. 

Totally agree.  I actually did leave MDC for a period of time because of the heavy moderation, and I know of a number of others who have as well.  I'm all for the new version.

[P.J.]

Originally Posted by mambera 

Totally agree.  I actually did leave MDC for a period of time because of the heavy moderation, and I know of a number of others who have as well.  I'm all for the new version.

Me too. A month after joining I made the faux-pas of saying how healthy it can (CAN, in certain circumstances) be letting a baby cry in loving arms (NEVER alone!). As you can see from my emphatic parentheses, I am still kind of paranoid about it. I got an official warning that those kinds of posts aren't welcome here. I am as anti-CIO as anyone here and was shocked that I wouldn't be welcome because I had a colicky baby and after weeks of trying everything I saw the value in letting him be colicky. I was so pissed and left MDC for about a month before tiptoeing back and ever-after watching what I say. I do appreciate that out-and-out CIO advice is not welcome here and have even flagged a couple posts that were recommending leaving the baby alone to cry at night. However, the old UA was just too strict IMO.
 

[MamitaM]

I've still got wounds from when MDC was to heavy handed with the switch they cut from the rose bushes they used on me and bruises they allowed some members to give while they kicked me while I was down. I think MDC needs to protect it's members a little more, but not mod as heavily as they did before.

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by P.J. 

Me too. A month after joining I made the faux-pas of saying how healthy it can (CAN, in certain circumstances) be letting a baby cry in loving arms (NEVER alone!). As you can see from my emphatic parentheses, I am still kind of paranoid about it. I got an official warning that those kinds of posts aren't welcome here. I am as anti-CIO as anyone here and was shocked that I wouldn't be welcome because I had a colicky baby and after weeks of trying everything I saw the value in letting him be colicky. I was so pissed and left MDC for about a month before tiptoeing back and ever-after watching what I say. I do appreciate that out-and-out CIO advice is not welcome here and have even flagged a couple posts that were recommending leaving the baby alone to cry at night. However, the old UA was just too strict IMO.
 

The thing is...I've gotten advice EXACTLY alone those lines and seen (and participated in) threads that say the same thing...You know the ones: A mom asks "Is it CIO when it's in Daddy's arms?" and everyone says, "No, it's totally different. Don't feel bad about it!"

[McGucks]

What are the main differences between the old UA and the new? 

And P.J.--love your new picture!  I have yet to get DH to take a BFing picture of me & my LO and know I will end up regretting it...I am STILL a bit self-conscious about nursing in front of him (though our baby is 14 months!), though I could care less about nursing in public...go figure...

[HollyBearsMom]

Originally Posted by MamitaM 

I've still got wounds from when MDC was to heavy handed with the switch they cut from the rose bushes they used on me and bruises they allowed some members to give while they kicked me while I was down. I think MDC needs to protect it's members a little more, but not mod as heavily as they did before.

You are not going to be "protected" if you do and say something stupid. And if you don't then you don't need protection anyway.  Seriously, how can an internet message board protect against hurt feelings?  How do you even moderate that w/o going back to old UA? I had quite a few warnings from the mods and have had my ass handed to me by some members. You get over it and move on.
 

[MamitaM]

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

You are not going to be "protected" if you do and say something stupid. And if you don't then you don't need protection anyway.  Seriously, how can an internet message board protect against hurt feelings?  How do you even moderate that w/o going back to old UA? I had quite a few warnings from the mods and have had my ass handed to me by some members. You get over it and move on.
 

The issue I was talking about was not me doing something stupid (not that time) and I was followed and attacked and name called by a few members. No one can really protect me from hurt feelings,but I expected a mod to tell the others to stop the name calling and to have reminded them that name calling wasn't cool.

[AdinaL]

Originally Posted by caedenmomma 

What are the main differences between the old UA and the new? 

About 2 pages. LOL

Seriously, the old UA was very long and very detailed.  The new one is very short and sweet, and covers the bits we need covered.

I think that MDC has conclusively proven that there is no way to make everyone happy with all moderation policies at all times.  We did what we thought we needed to at the time, and now we have realized we need to go another way.  There are several threads in Q&S in which Cynthia has explained the changes a bit more, or the reasons behind them. :) As the saying goes, when you know better, you do better. 

[chaoticzenmom]

Originally Posted by caedenmomma 

What are the main differences between the old UA and the new? 

And P.J.--love your new picture!  I have yet to get DH to take a BFing picture of me & my LO and know I will end up regretting it...I am STILL a bit self-conscious about nursing in front of him (though our baby is 14 months!), though I could care less about nursing in public...go figure...

The main differences are that there are many less details.  People are asked to be respectful, but that's about it.  Before, people were constantly pointing out how each others posts violated the UA and everyone, including mods were worn out and tired from it.  Now, we have an ideal of natural parenting, but know that it doesn't mean the same thing for everybody.  People can talk much more freely about their own ways of parenting without worrying about it being a violation of the user agreement.  However, they also have to be prepared for people to vehemently disagree with them.  MamitaM, I don't know which thread you had that made you feel kicked while you were down.  I'm sorry that you felt that way. 

[HollyBearsMom]

Originally Posted by MamitaM 

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

You are not going to be "protected" if you do and say something stupid. And if you don't then you don't need protection anyway.  Seriously, how can an internet message board protect against hurt feelings?  How do you even moderate that w/o going back to old UA? I had quite a few warnings from the mods and have had my ass handed to me by some members. You get over it and move on.
 

The issue I was talking about was not me doing something stupid (not that time) and I was followed and attacked and name called by a few members. No one can really protect me from hurt feelings,but I expected a mod to tell the others to stop the name calling and to have reminded them that name calling wasn't cool.

Guess I figured it was all "sticks and stones". I don't need my big brother to protect online like I once did on the playground
 

[MamitaM]

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

Guess I figured it was all "sticks and stones". I don't need my big brother to protect online like I once did on the playground
 

I don't either,but when you're really down and out and in a dark place and a few people say some pretty mean things then it's not easy to hear and just ignore it.

[lotusdebi]

Wow. That's.. uh... quite a change! 

[HollyBearsMom]

Originally Posted by MamitaM 

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

Guess I figured it was all "sticks and stones". I don't need my big brother to protect on line like I once did on the playground
 

I don't either,but when you're really down and out and in a dark place and a few people say some pretty mean things then it's not easy to hear and just ignore it.

Maybe buts that the beauty of the internet vs real life.  You can shut off your computer/shut down the site and walk away. It's not like you have to see those girls on the playground again tomorrow.

[journeymom]

People can talk much more freely about their own ways of parenting without worrying about it being a violation of the user agreement.  However, they also have to be prepared for people to vehemently disagree with them. 

I can deal with this. 

[chaoticzenmom]

Originally Posted by MamitaM 

Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom 

Guess I figured it was all "sticks and stones". I don't need my big brother to protect online like I once did on the playground
 

I don't either,but when you're really down and out and in a dark place and a few people say some pretty mean things then it's not easy to hear and just ignore it.

No, it's not easy.  I've been chased out of forums before as well and it did hurt.  I learned a lot, but people were much harsher in their posts than anyone would have been in person. Sometimes you really do just have to accept that a thread isn't working out for you and leave it, never to look back (or at least not until your curiosity can reconcile with your hurt feelings).  When I first started homeschooling and frequenting the homeschool board, I said that I thought it was ok for social workers to monitor homeschoolers.  O.M.G.  the responses to that!  I've since changed my stance (with the help of some gentle posts on that thread and life experiences), but I was completely taken by surprise by those responses.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words hurt worst of all";) 

[MamitaM]

Originally Posted by chaoticzenmom 

No, it's not easy.  I've been chased out of forums before as well and it did hurt.  I learned a lot, but people were much harsher in their posts than anyone would have been in person. Sometimes you really do just have to accept that a thread isn't working out for you and leave it, never to look back (or at least not until your curiosity can reconcile with your hurt feelings).  When I first started homeschooling and frequenting the homeschool board, I said that I thought it was ok for social workers to monitor homeschoolers.  O.M.G.  the responses to that!  I've since changed my stance (with the help of some gentle posts on that thread and life experiences), but I was completely taken by surprise by those responses.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words hurt worst of all" 

I did my best to ignore them and to leave the threads they were in where the problem started,the followed me to other threads.