It may just be hormones or stress. I was so determined at the beginning of this pregnancy that I was going to be stress-free! HA! Two kids already until 3 and a chaotic house to begin with, so not happening. But I am going with it and taking it as easy as I can. Even still, I am almost 16 weeks in the third pregnancy and have yet to truly feel the baby move. We haven't heard heart beat yet. And I constantly have this feeling that something might just be not quite right. I hear it's a third pregnancy thing (and on after that) but since conception, things have just been off.
At conception I had what I thought was a yeast infection, but may have been copious vaginal fluid (we conceived with "left over" sperm from a couple days prior) and I inserted garlic vaginally to cure the yeast quickly. Well, I had a HORRIBLE reaction to that and my vaginal area swelled completely closed and was in horrible pain. For two days it was like that and then did finally ease off. Plus side, my yeast infection (?) was gone in about three days! Then a week and a half later I had what felt like a bladder infection but my son told me it was the baby in my tummy, so I tested to prove him wrong. HE WAS RIGHT! But so was I because the next day the bladder infection set in full force and I ended up in the dr's office for it because it was so painful and I had blood clots in my urine. AND I NEVER GOTO THE DR!!!! After that, two weeks later, I got a sinus cold that lasted for close to two weeks. Following that, morning sickness, or ALL DAY SICKNESS set in full force and every single thing I consumed, even water, made it's way to the toilet. Or kitchen sink, whatever was closest.
This has just been the roughest pregnancy for me and I am still exhausted. I can't seem to catch up on rest. And I don't feel bonded well with this baby. I kind of want to go and have an ultrasound done so I can check on the baby and make sure things are all good and find out the gender so I can maybe try to bond by preparing for it. But we never find out the gender and aren't real into ultrasounds...Really, my husband is just against both pretty emphatically. I am indifferent either way, this time around. I have just never felt this way. I know if something was wrong, I wouldn't do anything anyway, but I just want to know. My nutrition was horrible in the beginning and I couldn't do prenatal vitamins, so I feel like I have robbed this baby and if something is wrong, I know I will take all f the guilt upon myself and blame myself harshly.
I guess I just feel not so right. Maybe it's the rough start or maybe it's intuition. I don't know. Anyone else ever feel this way?