Please tell me it gets better-having a 1 y/o and 3 y/o

[mom2lucy]

I'm feeling overwhelmed on a daily basis with my two girls.  DD1 is 3 yrs 3 mo. and DD2 is almost 13 mo.  I'm having a very difficult time figuring out how to engage them both while keeping them moderately happy.  DD2 is not quite walking but she's EVERYWHERE and needs constant supervision, which leaves me with no hands for DD1 when we're outside, at a playground, etc.

DD2 is so impatient that if I'm holding her while trying to help DD1 put clothes on or get ready to go she's constantly screaming and trying to get out of my arms (I'm usually holding her because we're trying to leave or something similar where I can't just let her down).

I'm trying to be patient with both of them but it's SOOOO hard.  DD1 is in major 3 yr old whiny, defiant stage and it's really wearing me down.

I thought I wanted 3 kids, but after the last couple months I'm about to send DH off for a vasectomy!  Please tell me it gets better, or not and that I need to endure this for an indefinte period of time, or help with strategies to help us have more peaceful/joyful days together.

Thank you so much for reading and any input!!!

[insidevoice]

For me, the worst period when when the youngest was almost but not quite walking.  As soon as he began walking it was much easier.  My little guys are closer than yours, and it was really hard when they were in really different places developmentally. 

[luv my 2 sweeties]

You are at about the hardest point right now, so hang in there! It does get much, much better.  Some day in about a year and a half, you will realize that you haven't heard from either one of them for nearly an hour because they are *playing* together and totally happy!  (Then 5 minutes later they'll start fighting, but at least you had that hour!)  Even before that blissful moment, things should gradually get easier. 

Don't send dh off for that vasectomy yet!  I totally gave up on the idea of a 3rd child when i was where you are now, and even for a couple of years after.  (My second child was a horrible sleeper for years, so I was constantly exhausted.)  But once #2 got to be about 4, we started to reconsider.  Our 3rd baby was born when the older two were 5 and 7.  Going from 2 to 3 was much easier, but that might be because my older two were, well, older!  When I hear moms say that 3 is harder, it's often that they add a third on top of, say, a 2 and 4 year old.  So don't snip yet.  You might feel differently in a few years.

[Drummer's Wife]

I've had a 3 and 1 yr old 3 times now (four kids, all 2 years apart), and I do think that stage can be rough.  I mean, 3 years is pretty much the most challenging age, IMO, so add a newly mobile yet not fully vocal toddler to the mix, and it can mean really hard days.  But yeah, in many ways it gets easier.  I dunno, though, b/c my kids are now 10, 8, 6, and 4, and they bicker and fight and in a way, they were much easier to 'control' as preschoolers/toddlers.  It's still hard; just a different kind of hard.  They aren't as clingy and needy in physical ways, but they are emotionally and mentally challenging for sure. 

Hang in there. 

[_betsy_]

BTDT, have the puke-stained t-shirt to prove it.

I have 2 girls, 27 months apart. Oldest is now 4.5, youngest is 2.5. It's been ROUGH. But it's also been really great in a lot of ways.

Sounds like you need to find a good, easy to use sling or baby carrier to put the baby in before going out. Or a safe place to put her for a few moments while helping the older one. Maybe an activity box type of thing near the door to keep her occupied while you get yourself and older DD ready.  And you know what? One of them might cry for a moment while having to wait. Them's the breaks, sometimes. Yes, it sucks, but is running yourself ragged any better? 

It'll get better as your older one becomes more self-sufficient and the little one gets sturdier on her feet. It'll get better. Then new things will be problems!