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"I feel weird about breastfeeding." - Page 2

post #21 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

I am a very strong person and stubborn as heck but even I struggle at times from the constant ridicule I get for BFing.......Not to mention every mother who BFs gets the comment "When are you switching to formula?" (I must have heard this 100x in the first year..) which is a hassle too...


This is a complete tangent, but....really?  Where ARE you?  I've nursed in public, at airports, restaurants, parks, gymnastics lessons, in New England and in the South, with an infant and with a toddler, while pregnant, and never once had anyone say ANYTHING negative.  I've also never gotten any comments about switching to formula.

 

Maybe I'm just terrifying? Sheepish.gif

post #22 of 45

People say that to me all the time at my LLL too! IDK if it'd b/c I am a young mother or what but I get harassed about it, I am in New England .

example 1: DD was 6 m/o and I took her to the mall on a week day even and was nursing her on a bench. This woman in a business suite walks by (probably on her lunch or something) and looks right at me and says "That is disgusting!" and walks away

 

example 2: DD 18 m/o at a graduation, a nurse who just graduated is walking with her mom she sees me on a bench nursing and starts shouting profanities and asking if I am REALLY Fin doing that right there..?

 

Not to mention the comments from my family "Go live in a 3rd world country if you want to do that" and comments seriously that bad...

 

IDK I get it ALL the time. I am almost terrified to nurse in public anymore. Even a woman at church has been harassing me lately.

 

Also have been physically threatened to "get my a$$ beat" if I nurse in front of so and so's DP or DH...

post #23 of 45
Thread Starter 

Oh my goodness sosurreal90... that's awful!!

 

I'm a young mother, too. I live in NJ, I've breastfed everywhere and nobody has ever said anything to me. I've had people stare or glare and as soon as I make eye contact they just look away. However, I have had more than one close friend tell me that I am "completely unapproachable." I don't know what's worse, to be unapproachable or to deal with people saying those kinds of things.

post #24 of 45

I think it is ridiculous and depressing I want to go move somewhere crunchy b/c I HATE it here! I feel so unwelcome...

post #25 of 45

This may not be the reason on at all, but I have known a few women who were unprepared for how sexual Bfing can feel. I am so glad a friend warned me that some women even orgasm from it, otherwise, I would probably flip if that happened to me!  We try so hard to separate things, that we often forget that the body just likes to reward us for doing good things.  Whether that be sex, bfing, pooping, eating, etc...

post #26 of 45
Quote:
It really bothers me that someone who has BFed would say that they feel weird about it. I want to know why but I don't want to be invasive by asking. Most of all, I want everyone to have a good nursing relationship and I think that "feeling weird" could be overcome if I only knew how to help.


Not all feeling weird can be overcome. Have you heard of breastfeeding aversion and D-MER? I am currently breastfeeding my 13 month old daughter and have suffered from on-off aversion. When I don't have it, I feel fine. Breastfeeding is fine. When I have a bout of aversion, breastfeeding is horrible. I have to fight through anxiety, panic attacks, nausea and irritation to continue breastfeeding - all without showing my feelings to my darling daughter.

 

I'm sure you mean it in the best possible way, but assuming weird feelings can be overcome belittles her feelings (which she is entitled to) and the struggle she has been through to breastfeed her first child.

 

This link may help explain it for you.

http://mythnomore.blogspot.com/search/label/D-MER

 

post #27 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by greencarnation View Post

This may not be the reason on at all, but I have known a few women who were unprepared for how sexual Bfing can feel. I am so glad a friend warned me that some women even orgasm from it, otherwise, I would probably flip if that happened to me!  We try so hard to separate things, that we often forget that the body just likes to reward us for doing good things.  Whether that be sex, bfing, pooping, eating, etc...



Errr... I think that's very, very unusual.

post #28 of 45

I have a friend that felt the same way. This was several years ago. In hind site she said she thinks it sprang from her identification with her body as the symbol of her sexuality. Makes sense, all of us have been flooded with the same subconscious marketing of sex. She did give up nursing early on, as I said it has been years..it still bumms her out.

We all have to walk our own path. Peace.

post #29 of 45


I know several people who have had "strange" feelings from breastfeeding. The same hormones that facilitate breastfeeding facilitate orgasm, no? I know lots of moms who will have a let-down during orgasm as well.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovesmila View Post





Errr... I think that's very, very unusual.



 

 

post #30 of 45


Nope, it is very common, but not something most doctors or LC talk about, for obvious reasons.  I'm not saying it happens to everyone, but that high amounts of oxytocin cause that reaction in some women.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovesmila View Post





Errr... I think that's very, very unusual.



 

post #31 of 45

For the record I am a huge BFing supporter but IDK if I could BF if I kept orgasaming from it. Like someone else said we all walk out own path. I feel REALLY weird about orgasmic birth and I don't want to judge people who have one but it makes me feel uncomfortable.

post #32 of 45

I agree, no one should do anything that makes them unhappy.  Sure, baby would get nutrition, but you might bond better with a bottle, if you are very uncomfortable with breastfeeding.

post #33 of 45


Seriously, you've got your wires crossed. Orgasm during breastfeeding is NOT common. Yes, some women experience let down during orgasm, but there is a huge difference between that and finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm. Orgasm can cause let down, not the other way around. The myth that women breastfeed because they find it sexually gratifying is one that has served anti-breastfeeding advocates very well, let's not perpetuate it.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by greencarnation View Post


Nope, it is very common, but not something most doctors or LC talk about, for obvious reasons.  I'm not saying it happens to everyone, but that high amounts of oxytocin cause that reaction in some women.



 



 

post #34 of 45


I don't want to get off on a tangent, but I do feel the need to clarify. There a difference between, "finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm," and "the stimulation caused by breastfeeding results in a release of hormones that can result in orgasm." Your definition, as it is written, implies a conscious effort to be aroused. That is an involuntary reaction what we're describing.

 


Quote:

Originally Posted by Lovesmila View Post


Seriously, you've got your wires crossed. Orgasm during breastfeeding is NOT common. Yes, some women experience let down during orgasm, but there is a huge difference between that and finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm. Orgasm can cause let down, not the other way around. The myth that women breastfeed because they find it sexually gratifying is one that has served anti-breastfeeding advocates very well, let's not perpetuate it.
 



 



 


Edited by ein328 - 6/15/11 at 4:43pm
post #35 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

I think it is ridiculous and depressing I want to go move somewhere crunchy b/c I HATE it here! I feel so unwelcome...



hug2.gif

 

Unfortunately, negativity can happen anywhere.  I lived in California when DS was little and I got a few negative comments.  My BIL's sister closed a door between me very discreetly nursing (a newborn) DS and a room where other kids were because, "Their moms just wouldn't want them seeing THAT," then she told me I should go into my nieces room to bf.

 

I had to deal with half an hour of really dirty looks from an older man in a restaurant for nursing DS, also when he was a newborn.

 

The worst one was when DS was about 16 months old and fell down at the park.  We were sitting on a bench and he was getting boo-boo nursies when 2 power-walking women came by.  One of them actually Moo'ed at me.

 

Now I live in Portland, though, which is about as crunchy a city as you could possibly get.  Hopefully I'll be able to avoid the nasty reactions after the babe I'm currently pregnant with is born.

post #36 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovesmila View Post


Seriously, you've got your wires crossed. Orgasm during breastfeeding is NOT common. Yes, some women experience let down during orgasm, but there is a huge difference between that and finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm. Orgasm can cause let down, not the other way around. The myth that women breastfeed because they find it sexually gratifying is one that has served anti-breastfeeding advocates very well, let's not perpetuate it.
 



 



Are you seriously implying that women who experience (sometimes strong) sexual feelings during breastfeeding, through no fault of their own, are breastfeeding because it's sexually gratifying?  Not all women require extended, intense, focused effort to orgasm.  For some women it's embarrassingly easy.  Are you going to be the one to judge how much sexual feeling is OK for a woman to feel before she is having too much "sexual gratification" to breastfeed? 

 

I certainly don't think that women who are really uncomfortable with the sexual feelings that often come with breastfeeding should feel forced to continue to breastfeed, but I also think that it is TOTALLY NATURAL and NORMAL to experience sexual feelings during breastfeeding.  Every book that I've read on breastfeeding says so.  And women should NOT feel guilty for continuing to breastfeed despite the unintentional reaction of their bodies.

 
post #37 of 45

Thank you! clap.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Viriditas View Post





Are you seriously implying that women who experience (sometimes strong) sexual feelings during breastfeeding, through no fault of their own, are breastfeeding because it's sexually gratifying?  Not all women require extended, intense, focused effort to orgasm.  For some women it's embarrassingly easy.  Are you going to be the one to judge how much sexual feeling is OK for a woman to feel before she is having too much "sexual gratification" to breastfeed? 

 

I certainly don't think that women who are really uncomfortable with the sexual feelings that often come with breastfeeding should feel forced to continue to breastfeed, but I also think that it is TOTALLY NATURAL and NORMAL to experience sexual feelings during breastfeeding.  Every book that I've read on breastfeeding says so.  And women should NOT feel guilty for continuing to breastfeed despite the unintentional reaction of their bodies.

 


 

post #38 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovesmila View Post


Seriously, you've got your wires crossed. Orgasm during breastfeeding is NOT common. Yes, some women experience let down during orgasm, but there is a huge difference between that and finding the sensation of your baby breastfeeding so arousing that you orgasm. Orgasm can cause let down, not the other way around. The myth that women breastfeed because they find it sexually gratifying is one that has served anti-breastfeeding advocates very well, let's not perpetuate it.
 


It turns out your wrong.  I haven't ever experienced it personally, but remember hearing about it for the first time in a freshman women's studies class and several times after including my hospital led breastfeeding course.  You probably think it is uncommon because people don't talk about it.  They are afraid that if they talk about it, they'll get spanked by someone like you saying they have their wires crossed and should essentially be ashamed of it. And if you feel so proud of what you're saying, why did you create a new account just to hop on here and call people perverts for experiencing something that is biologically normal?   

 

post #39 of 45

edited-- NM...jumped to a conclusion that I shouldn't have...

 
post #40 of 45

I haven't had anyone who has bf say this to me.  I would urge you to perhaps explain how difficult it is to pump and feed.  I had to pump for my dd when she was first born because she was a premie and I felt like I lived at the pump.  The hardest thing was when I fed her and then had to pump after to increase my supply.  I can't imagine finding the time for 2 children while pumping and feeding.

 

Talk with her but let her lead the conversation.  Perhaps a local LLL leader can help you help her.  I don't want to sound judgemental but people who want to pump and give a bottle instead of bf are crazy in my opinion.  It is way too much work.  Hopefully, you can help her work through any issues she is having.

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