Disclosure meeting tomorrow (updated)

[sagewinna]

We have a disclosure meeting tomorrow about 2 little boys, 4 y/o and under 1 y/o. (In Ca. only one family gets chosen for the meeting and if all parties are agreeable the next morning it's a match). The baby has some medical issues and both are a ways away from tpr.

We found out last night that there is also a social worker interested in us for a little girl that just turned 2. She has a tpr date for next week.

So, things are moving and we are hopeful that one of these situations will be a match for us. :)

[CrunchyChristianMama]

Yay!  I hope everything at the meeting goes well for you.

[HeatherAtHome]

Good luck!

[Smithie]

Can't wait to her how it went! 

[tumblewieds]

Good luck!

[sagewinna]

Well, it was heartbreaking. :( It was so hard to hear their history and we are both feeling very emotional and raw.

We are going to decline the match. The baby's medical challenges are much more significant than we thought, there were a few other red flags as well but that was the biggie.

Monday afternoon is the meeting about the little girl. She has no medical issues so that won't be an issue. We are hopeful this will be a good match.

[Polliwog]

I'm sure it was hard hearing the information. I hope that they find an appropriate family soon.

Good luck with the next meeting.

[sagewinna]

Thanks. I totally thought I was prepared to hear what had happened, but it was much more horrifying than I could have imagined. I think it will haunt us for a good long time. It was really hard not to go with the emotional reaction of "OMG SAVE THEM" and I just wanted to love them and make up for what they'd been through. The reality was the baby could possibly need lifelong care and, while he was making progress, was still severely delayed and there is just no way of knowing the direction his recovery would take. My heart hurts that it wasn't our match. I didn't know it would be this difficult emotionally to say no.

[Smithie]

[heatherdeg]

I don't think it ever gets easier to say no.  Even when it's a foster placement that you KNOW is temporary (and thus, you only have to deal with the issues for a period of time instead of a lifetime), it is REALLY hard to say "no".  The only great thing about having fostered is that we learned from that whole "We can do anything temporarily" mindset and the backlash--so it became easier to draw the lines and really say "No"... but it always makes you feel like crud.

Glad you knew your limitations and stuck to honoring them.  Nobody is well-served otherwise.  I know it was really hard, but it's best for all involved.  Somewhere, there's a parent for that child that will look at the case and say "Okay--I can do that".  Have faith.