Gifted with ADHD maybe Asperger's - Page 2

[Tigerle]

Originally Posted by RiverTam 

It is confusing.

After a disaster of a school year, I took DS1 for an ADOS and a WISC-III on Friday. I did the ADI-R on Thursday. We're waiting on the results. I am completely freaked out, anxious and sad. I could just sit and cry and cry and cry.  At the same time, watching him take the ADOS was a really good experience. He actually did very well. I can see where he has some trouble, but he has improved his social skills and communication skills so much in the last two years.

We were there a few months ago. No matter how well you think you know your own child and how well prepared you are for the outcome, it can throw you completely. So far, according to the ADOS and ADI, we haven't got an autism diagnosis at this point, and the psych felt that he was so far away from the cutoffs that it wasn't likely in the future either. However, the counselor she referred us to who has been videoing our interactions says that while DS is very different from other autistic kids that she's seen, sometimes she sees these typical autism behaviours "flashing up" and going away again - she's not so sure we've heard the last of it, and recommended an aide in the classroom, diganosis or no diagnosis. (On the other hand, she feels that part of our difficulties managing behaviours are that I am too nice, for instance not showing my real emotions about his flattening my dune during play in the sandbox because it interfered with his need to control the play. I told her that, apart from the fact I had outgrown caring about dunes in the sandbox, after a winter and spring spent fielding explosions in this kind of situation my emotions were mainly pity for my child who was so obviously terrified of losing control and trying so hard to avoid it... while I am glad we haven't got a diagnosis, and am not going to push for one in the future sometimes you feel that without one people just.don't.understand...)

[joensally]

Originally Posted by RiverTam 

It is confusing.

After a disaster of a school year, I took DS1 for an ADOS and a WISC-III on Friday. I did the ADI-R on Thursday. We're waiting on the results. I am completely freaked out, anxious and sad. I could just sit and cry and cry and cry.  At the same time, watching him take the ADOS was a really good experience. He actually did very well. I can see where he has some trouble, but he has improved his social skills and communication skills so much in the last two years.

I can relate to this.  Parenting complicated kids is an emotionally intense experience. 

Edited by joensally - 6/21/11 at 6:47pm

[RiverTam]

Thanks for the kind words, mamas.

I'm better today.  If he gets a DX,  he gets a DX. It's okay. He has been in speech therapy for two years. He is doing much better. He is pretty functional in social situations. He has friends. He's gong to be okay. Quirky, but okay.

Meanwhile, if they give me a DX, I can use it to club my insurance company into paying for him to have more therapy.

[Tigerle]

Originally Posted by RiverTam 

Thanks for the kind words, mamas.

I'm better today.  If he gets a DX,  he gets a DX. It's okay. He has been in speech therapy for two years. He is doing much better. He is pretty functional in social situations. He has friends. He's gong to be okay. Quirky, but okay.

Meanwhile, if they give me a DX, I can use it to club my insurance company into paying for him to have more therapy.

I'm glad you're feeling better! I felt that just having to go through the diagnostic routine was something of a shock. I also tell myself that very thing about my DS - he'll be quirky, but okay. I've adjusted my expectations a bit concerning happiness, popularity, fitting in...pretty functional and having friends sounds good enough to me, we're still working on all of those!

Keep us posted.
 

[RiverTam]

Originally Posted by Tigerle 

I'm glad you're feeling better! I felt that just having to go through the diagnostic routine was something of a shock. I also tell myself that very thing about my DS - he'll be quirky, but okay. I've adjusted my expectations a bit concerning happiness, popularity, fitting in...pretty functional and having friends sounds good enough to me, we're still working on all of those!

Keep us posted.
 

Will do. Our follow-up to get the results is on July 14.

[Tbrenn]

Hi, I'm new to the Mothering forums. Just embarking on more research and found this thread. My 5 yr old was diagnosed as ADHD + Cognitively gifted a few months ago. He's on Focalin and doing very well. The gifted part is what I have questions about. There was no formal testing done for that, my understanding was he was too young at the time. He'll be entering 1st grade in the fall and it's very clear that he's ahead of his classmates by several years in multiple academic areas. As I'm coming to understand, with kids like him they often march to a slightly different beat socially. Nothing too severe, just comes out in some social areas. My question is as a parent with a vague diagnosis in the giftedness area, should I be asking for more? Or how would one proceed with a very intelligent almost 6 yr old. Is there a reason for us to get more specific info at this point? Any info or thoughts would be tremendously appreciated.
Thanks, Tiffany

[heatherdeg]

Originally Posted by Tbrenn 

Hi, I'm new to the Mothering forums. Just embarking on more research and found this thread. My 5 yr old was diagnosed as ADHD + Cognitively gifted a few months ago. He's on Focalin and doing very well. The gifted part is what I have questions about. There was no formal testing done for that, my understanding was he was too young at the time. He'll be entering 1st grade in the fall and it's very clear that he's ahead of his classmates by several years in multiple academic areas. As I'm coming to understand, with kids like him they often march to a slightly different beat socially. Nothing too severe, just comes out in some social areas. My question is as a parent with a vague diagnosis in the giftedness area, should I be asking for more? Or how would one proceed with a very intelligent almost 6 yr old. Is there a reason for us to get more specific info at this point? Any info or thoughts would be tremendously appreciated.
Thanks, Tiffany

You might want to post a separate thread for this to get more feedback because most people won't find it here.  

Really, testing is most useful to qualify for a specific program (my son takes summer classes that require a qualifying score) or to validate a classroom accommodation.  I'm trying to think of a time that we've actually used my son's test scores and really, I can't think of any others (he's 7yo).

Sometimes they are socially awkward because they're so NOT seeing the world through the same eyes as their age-peers--so stuff the kids their age do seem stupid or pointless.  Their jokes are over the other kids heads, etc.  It can be hard.

The sad thing is that many schools don't offer gifted education at that age.  For now, I would make sure to have GREAT communication with his teachers to see how he's doing day to day.  If he's being sufficiently challenged, you may really not have a problem.  But if he's not being challenged, you need to see where the issues are and compensate for them.  How will depend on the options available at the time and what the issue is.

[Aufilia]

Jumping in--I haven't been on the forums much in the last month but this thread is us all over.  Kinda.  DD (5.5) had an eval with a pediatric neurologist a couple weeks ago and i was dead certain we would come out with an ADHD or Asperger's dx, but no, she doesn't quite fit the criteria for either one even though there's clearly weird stuff going on in her head. I am somewhere between relieved about this and totally depressed, because the practical result is that we still have no good guidance on how to manage her.  She is so in her own world so much of the time, she is obstinate and headstrong and really doesn't get how her behavior drives others batty, she doesn't hear you when you say STOP, no consequence seems to get to to quit when she's In A Mood.  The ped neuro suggested seeing a child counselor to get help with some sort of ways to motivate/demotivate her but since the ped neuro was in another city she didn't know of anyone local to refer us to.  I'm still crossing my fingers she'll find somebody.

Tbrenn: We did have DD IQ tested last fall and IMO I think it's a good thing because I feel like I am going to need those numbers backing me up to get her any worthwhile academic accomodation when she starts Kindergarten in the fall. She is doing end-of-2nd-grade math and 4th+ grade reading but is emotionally and socially immature, and her behavior can just be so wild.

[heatherdeg]

Aufilia--you might want to check out SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted) Institute's website.  Someone told me about it long ago & said they even have instructional videos to help, but I honestly never dug into it.

Also, Davidson Young Scholars might be able to provide some support.  You need qualifying test scores to be accepted, but I THINK their "thing" is providing resources and assistance to parents of gifted kids so the kids get what they need and so do the parents.  I could be wrong, but good to look into.

Last, read some of the Positive Discipline series of books.  When my son's behavior got so bad that he looked like a RAD child (that's a severe attachment disorder most commonly associated with adopted children--and the behaviors are SEVERE), the Positive Discipline series REALLY helped.

[Aufilia]

Heather, thanks for the suggestions.  I will definitely check out the discipline book.  We (DH and I) took a Love & Logic class this winter hoping it would be helpful to us, but found it about 25% helpful and 75% obnoxious (the creators had this thing about never explaining more to your kids than you would to a dog, because kids are smarter than dogs... bwah??).

She does not qualify for Davidson--her WPSII scores are too low. The examiner told us she'd probably test higher if we repeated the test because she bombed a number of easy questions due to refusing to participate, but it's expensive to test so we probably won't without a better reason.

I've poked around the SENG site before.  They do have some seminar videos but you have to pay for them.  The SENG conference was held near us last month but I could not afford to attend.

[Treasuremapper]

Hi!  I could have written your post. Our daughter was seven years old when she was diagnosed with Asperger's.  She was the same exact child before and after her diagnosis.  After a period of shock, I found myself appreciating the label and diagnosis.  So I can imagine what you are experiencing, if it is anything similar to my own experience.  I will share my daughter's story with you, not to take the thread away but to illustrate the silver lining in our experience.

I also want to emphasize -- kids can be gifted AND have autism or Asperger's. It happens all the time.

Before her diagnosis, she had the same brilliance, the same quirks, and the same struggles.  

The reason everyone was missing her Asperger's was two fold: some girls present differently, and our daughter can maintain well for a few hours in one on one interactions with an adult asking her interesting questions about herself.  She enjoys taking IQ tests and achievement tests, so she was at her delightful best in those situations. 

I found out her diagnosis after enrolling her in our local public school. They saw her in situations that are stressful for kids on the spectrum for 7 hours a day, and they immediately suspected autism or Asperger's and did their own diagnostic work, and gave her a diagnosis of Asperger's.  I now had the teacher's reports, and I switched neurologists. Her new neurologist was incredibly thorough and ran all sorts of tests and diagnosed Asperger's syndrome.

So -- even though it was a big shock to go from one label to the other, it didn't really matter. She is the same wonderful amazing little human being.  What mattered was that suddenly, after years of mom struggling to meet her needs and failing,  she was blossoming and happy.  This diagnosis has actually opened doors to services and support that we could not have even imagined a few years ago. In addition, I now can read books on the subject and find that there is an entire category of practical parenting advice for parenting kids with Asperger's syndrome.

I know it is a surprise, but really, everything is still the same, except now you have legal rights for getting help and support, and you have a short hand term that represents a collection of characteristics that you already knew your daughter had. 

[DaMama]

My son was just diagnosed last week with Asperger's and possible ADHD. His Asperger's is mild so it was easily missed for all these years, but like Treasuremapper, once he had to endure the rigours of school (1st grade) things started to fall apart. He is what I guess is considered "gifted" as his IQ scores were very high but has some areas that are problematic. Although this has been a bit of a shock, it is also starting to become a blessing to have some foundation from which to help him. It is so hard to help a child when you don't know what exactly you need to help.

Treasuremapper - would you mind sharing which books you have found helpful. Your experience sounds so much like ours. Thanks!