Celebrating Milestones related to school

[annakiss]

Whenever the schools let in or out (as is happening right now for summer vacation), everyone starts to fill up Facebook and message boards and real life conversation with talk of the kids and the changes happening, whether enjoying summer or enjoying freedom (or not) or appreciating the milestones met. Every time I read it, I feel a slight twinge of my otherness. My kids have other things that happen, but it's this thing that makes me feel very much not part of the culture and makes me want to either be whiney and point out my otherness or... something. I guess mostly I just want some communal acknowledgement of our progression, of our participation in the culture. I want evidence that we are here, we are learning, we are awesome and interesting and enjoying summer too.

There's nothing to do about it. I just wanted to whine to people who would maybe understand. There's no changing my choice or anything. It's not that I'm not happy with what we do. I just wish there was some other paradigm so I could sometimes feel normal. Not that I'm into normal either.

[pigpokey]

I suspect as they get older they will have these milestones outside of school.  Scout end of year awards, summer swim league starting, etc.  Unless they choose not to participate in youth organizations at all...

[SweetSilver]

Our community and family are generally supportive, though oftentimes puzzled, so that helps us.  Also, DH is a gardener, and if we didn't homeschool the kids would be tied up in school when his schedule would start making room for trips and family outings and things.  Friends are supportive, but I feel that same feeling of "otherness".  The talk turns to school and I have nothing to say.  I am not used to having nothing to say!  Especially as an unschooling family, this divide is even wider.  I talk to homeschooling parents now and then and the talk is about curriculums and virtual schools, learning schedules and teaching techniques.  I feel as alien to that world as I do with those with kids in school.

[annakiss]

Exactly, Sweet Silver. I have a good deal of support from friends, community, and family. I still feel a little out of the loop though because I think that I end up discussing real issues about my kids more often than not. Things that I struggle with, etc. Which is great, I'm not really inclined towards BS, but at the same time, I can't even relate to most folks' BS and that makes me feel a little left out sometimes. Mostly just right now and it will happen again in the fall. It's interesting that everyone else gets to complain about something like a curriculum or a teacher or a school. They have logistics to figure and they spend lots of time talking like this. I just don't have anything to say to that, really. All of my problems or logistics or whathaveyou have to do with my motivation or pursuing an interest or going someplace or again, the things that I, as a parent, struggle with wrt behavior and just living with little people. I don't always have a lot of people around to talk about that with. We're still settling into our homeschooling niche. My oldest also just had a big surgery, so I'm feeling pretty out of my community and Other anyway. That may be more it, really.

[moominmamma]

My kids are probably older than yours (they're 8 through 17) and maybe that's part of it, or maybe I just have different kids with different interests. Or maybe it's that we live in a small community. They seem to have plenty of tangible accomplishments that present themselves to the outside world, things that have nothing to do with school but still earn natural recognition in the community. Their musical interests put them "out there" a fair bit in performances, and they take part in community events a lot ... whether as volunteers or participants. I've done running races with two my daughters over the past month, one dd is doing community soccer, I have two budding entrepreneurs who have high visibility at the community market every week selling their wares, one kid who volunteered to serve food at the high school graduation reception, two kids volunteering tomorrow to serve hot dogs at a fundraiser at a golf tournament, another who just finished playing in a big musical production. These are mostly small things, but people see them out and about, helping out and participating in community life, and there is lots of warmth and encouragement that naturally springs up in return. Maybe your kids will gradually develop their own "community presence" that will fill in for "school milestones."

Miranda

[SweetSilver]

It sounds a lot like the early journeys of parenthood.  So many moms feel isolated when raising toddler and baby.  Even when we went places, my focus and energy was absorbed by keeping track of a mobile baby, and the possible fussiness of the baby in the Moby Wrap.  I couldn't connect, even if I had all the people around me in the world!  (It didn't help that my oldest always sought the refuge of The Edge, away from the general hubbub.  Keeping her in the midst of everyone simply was not an option.)

     So now, we embark on homeschooling, even though that distinction is made simply because we didn't enroll her in kindergarten, not because anything we've been doing has actually changed.  I haven't found the "group" yet, and am a bit pessimistic about it, considering babygroups and playgroups and whatevergroups have not been ideal (see reason above, still current).  

     But I guess we really are just beginning.  Hopefully, when the girls are older like moominmamma's we will feel immersed and connected in our own way.

[EviesMom]

I think some of the summer stuff has to do with changing of seasons and different opportunities just as much as it does school type events. Sports classes finish up for the year, girl/boy/spiral scouts finishes, etc. And at least here, there are craft days in the park, more kids to play with, my kids were super excited the day they turned the water on in the playground water features (they consider it a sign of summer starting).