TTC for over a year now, but not entered world of infertility can someone give me a breif tour?

[Gendenwitha]

Okay, background: I'm 36, we have 3 boys, ages 14, 13 and 5. We've been TTC for over a year--not consistently, at first it was "well, not this month because I don't want to be 8mos preg in August, or not this month because my work's busiest time is then..." but after about 2yrs I realized 15-18mos of those we'd been TTC, there might be a problem.

I love doing the pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding thing, and because of the way genetics are traced there's something appealing about having a XX chromosone kid, who might have more XX kids, but we've long talked about doing fostering or adoption when our biological clocks ran out. And that would also allow us to have a child closer to 5yo's age. We thought we'd have them about 3 years apart, (and would have been closer if I wasn't trying to finish school first and was timing it just for sibling preference) now we're looking at 6 years difference.

So, situation I'm in now, I've heard horrible things about how hard and expensive fertility treatments are and part of me doesn't want to go there. But then I wonder if I'm passing up the opportunity to get pregnant without enough information, maybe a little nudge wouldn't be so bad? Maybe start out with some herbal supplements?

Oh, another little hitch here: I've got phobias of doctors and medical procedures and am not very good at staying committed to taking medicine regularly, so that's a huge interference.

[monkeyscience]

Hi! I'm not an expert, but I didn't want your post to go unanswered.

Yeah, there are a lot of people who have been through long, hard courses of infertility treatment that are really expensive and invasive. However, there's also a lot of people who've had fairly simple fixes for their fertility problems and/or have gotten pregnant on their first round of treatment. And a bunch in between those extremes, too.

I'm not the best person to ask about natural supplements, but here are my thoughts, FWIW. I would say the very first thing you should do, if you haven't, is chart, a la Taking Charge of Your Fertility. This will answer the very basic questions of whether or not you are ovulating and, if you are, if your luteal phase is long enough to support implantation. Based on your post, getting pregnant in the past hasn't been hard for you, so it's less likely that there's some structural problem (uterine septum, blocked tubes). If your charts show that you are ovulating (and BDing at the right time!), and that your luteal phase is long enough (usually 10 days or more), then you might want to see a doctor about checking for things like fibroids or endometriosis, or blocked tubes (which could have happened since you had your last ds). Even if you are ovulating, low thyroid levels can also keep you from successfully carrying a pregnancy. Oh, and I can't believe I forgot - you would also want your dh to have a semen analysis. A lot can happen in 6 years, and your dh's sperm may not be what it once was - either in terms of quantity or quality.

Once you know for sure what's going on (or know that you can't figure out what's going on), you can better figure out your options. They may range from something relatively simple, like ovulation induction with timed intercourse (usually just 5 days of pills and using OPKs) all the way up to IVF of some variety. You may decide you don't want to go very far on the intervention ladder, and that's fine. That's definitely a very personal decision that a lot of us struggle with - how far should we go to have a bio kid? At the same time, though, if you have a problem with a relatively simple fix, I'd hate to have you just give up because you're afraid you'd need the long, hard, expensive treatment.

One last thought... you did mention you were timing trying for a girl. That could definitely make you miss the chance to conceive at all, depending on your cervical fluid and a lot of other factors. Have you tried TTC without the timing for a girl?

Anyway, that was sort of a long-winded meander, but hope it helps some, and hope some other ladies jump in with their thoughts!

[RosieL]

I'm new to infertility too, and I found this page helpful: http://www.shadygrovefertility.com/initial_workup I didn't know what to expect in terms of initial testing at a clinic, so this page kind of explained what I could expect from the doctor's point of view. 

I second monkeyscience's suggestion of Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It helped me understand a LOT more about my cycle.