I posted a more detailed thread in birth and beyond, but basically, a homebirth is out for me, UC or assisted (this is my second child). I am not high risk or anything like that, both my baby and I are healthy, and I had a completely unmedicated, uncomplicated, short labor and birth in a hospital with my first child--it is an accessibility issue. I have no access to a homebirth attendant, and DH will not budge on a UC. In either case, it's too late for either now as I'm nearly 38 weeks.
My problem is that I'm heartbroken and practically inconsolable tonight. I've ignored the disappointment and anger about being denied what I feel is my right to birth privately and naturally to such a degree that I'm railroaded into a hospital again, but tonight when I tried to watch the Orgasmic Birth documentary, I had to turn it off ten minutes in because I was sobbing uncontrollably.
I don't know how to make peace with this reality that I am GOING to be robbed of mine and my baby's privacy and intimacy during and after birth. Did anyone who had planned a homebirth have to transfer, or switch to a hospital prior to labor, and manage to still have a good experience? I really don't want to start my labor in this frame of mind but right now I'm having a hard time imagining how I'm not still going to be heartbroken and angry at whatever point I have to head to the hospital, and that won't help anyone.
Any words of advice or encouragement, from anyone? Thanks.