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Aging out of MDC? - Page 3

post #41 of 77

This was my mother's and my experience.  smile.gif   She went through menopause while I was a nutty teen. 

post #42 of 77

My mother used to say that once your children were past a certain age, you lose the grace to be able to deal with that age. The older my kids get, the more I find that to be true. Twice in the last month, I have been incredibly stressed out over 3 year children having tantrums while I was out shopping. The parents were doing the best they could (I might have intervened in a different way with one of them, but the dad was doing OK). The kids were clearly maxed out, the parents were fine. There was nothing 'wrong' with the situation other than the fact that I could no longer tolerate it. I'm beginning to feel that way about a fair number of the posts I see. I'm past the spaghetti-throwing, night weaning, potty training, no-impulse control stages. I'm also past the learning to read and not being able to reason stages.

 

Most days I just don't have the energy to read/respond to threads about kids in those ages. Some days I do, but I find myself hanging out in Gentle Discipline and Childhood Years far less often. I feel a bit of a misfit in some of the other forums I look at (Gifted Child -- my kids are smart, but they're not as smart as some of the kids I hear about there and Special Needs -- ds' special needs are hardly noticeable now, though he seems to be doing something weird with hand washing lately....) My kids aren't quite old enough for this forum (ds is 10 so he sort of counts, and dd at age 7 is too young). Technically, dd should be squarely in the Childhood Years, but most of the issues there don't fit her. (She's a very bright, highly driven, intense, highly emotional, stubborn, creative, exhausting kid who talks and reasons like a 12 year old and has the emotional development of a 7 year old.)

 

I do like the idea of a peri-menopause, menopause forum. As an older mother (35 with ds, 38 with dd), I could well be going through menopause at the same time dd is going through puberty. Yippee!

 

 

 

 

post #43 of 77

I will suggest it in the "Suggestions forum" I should have done this a while ago.

post #44 of 77

I think this is true in many cases!  I do find myself becoming less patient with other people's little ones as mine age out of those stages.  Sometimes, I just feel a general irritation at what seems to be a general lack of parenting skills, although I do try to have grace, as I know I didn't always know what I know (does that make any sense at all, lol).  Parenting is such a journey, and we are all at different places.  

 

I would really love to have a forum dealing with menopausal issues; I will be going through that very stage myself when my littlest 2 are teens.  I am sure I'll be dealing with multiple crazy hormone issues in both myself and my children in just a few short years.

 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post

My mother used to say that once your children were past a certain age, you lose the grace to be able to deal with that age. The older my kids get, the more I find that to be true. Twice in the last month, I have been incredibly stressed out over 3 year children having tantrums while I was out shopping. The parents were doing the best they could (I might have intervened in a different way with one of them, but the dad was doing OK). The kids were clearly maxed out, the parents were fine. There was nothing 'wrong' with the situation other than the fact that I could no longer tolerate it. I'm beginning to feel that way about a fair number of the posts I see. I'm past the spaghetti-throwing, night weaning, potty training, no-impulse control stages. I'm also past the learning to read and not being able to reason stages.

 

Most days I just don't have the energy to read/respond to threads about kids in those ages. Some days I do, but I find myself hanging out in Gentle Discipline and Childhood Years far less often. I feel a bit of a misfit in some of the other forums I look at (Gifted Child -- my kids are smart, but they're not as smart as some of the kids I hear about there and Special Needs -- ds' special needs are hardly noticeable now, though he seems to be doing something weird with hand washing lately....) My kids aren't quite old enough for this forum (ds is 10 so he sort of counts, and dd at age 7 is too young). Technically, dd should be squarely in the Childhood Years, but most of the issues there don't fit her. (She's a very bright, highly driven, intense, highly emotional, stubborn, creative, exhausting kid who talks and reasons like a 12 year old and has the emotional development of a 7 year old.)

 

I do like the idea of a peri-menopause, menopause forum. As an older mother (35 with ds, 38 with dd), I could well be going through menopause at the same time dd is going through puberty. Yippee!

 

 

 

 



 

post #45 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post



I agree, many first round parents don't really want BTDT advice unless it's very, very recent experience. Most of us who have teenagers are looking back and thinking "what the heck were we so worked up about!" Any attempt to calm or put things in long-term perspective is taken with offense. 

 



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by karne View Post


That's so true!  There are days when I fondly remember when the biggest issues facing me as a parent was whether my kids had too many toys, or what their baby doll was made out of.  I want to say "Just love your kids, make a community for yourself, and don't sweat the small stuff.  It all goes by so fast."

 

 

 



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post


and it's really really tough to have a discussion with someone who has passionate ideology but no real experience putting that ideology in practice. Ideology can be PERFECT but life doesn't get to be. We also get wrapped up in the notion of this "ideal childhood" before we really understand that "ideal" is all relative to the child in question. What is happy, rewarding and keeps you on the straight and narrow for one child isn't neccessarily the same for another.... even if they come from the same family!

 

I know I was full of beliefs before I had kids and when they were infants/toddlers. It seems really easy when you are reading books about childrearing. However, most of the beliefs I had went right out the window when I realized they were wrong for my own children or just plain old impractical to keep up with.

 

 

 

 



 



Yes, to all of this.   I try to stick around to help younger moms, like the older moms helped me when my first few children were young.  However, it's just hard to have a conversation with someone whose head is so firmly stuck in the ground, they can't hear those of us whose feet are grounded by years of experience.  I really appreciate reading the teen and preteen board, as I learn a lot, even when I don't agree with the post.  I'm just happy to hear from moms who have BTDT, or who are dealing with some of the same issues as DH and I currently are, and what is working (or not working) for them.  

 

Ideals are great, but only those which stand the test of time are worth keeping, IMO.  Is there another board where you guys are hanging out these days?

 

 

post #46 of 77

Funny to find this thread...Although my son is 19, I recently began working as a preschool teacher and MDC has been on my mind.  I learned so many helpful things here!  It's always nice to check back in.  

post #47 of 77

I finally got a reply and was told I can start a social group http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1327212/social-groups-are-here

I don't have the time for the next few days to read more about this, but if any of you would like to start up the group that would be great.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by raksmama View Post

I will suggest it in the "Suggestions forum" I should have done this a while ago.



 

post #48 of 77

I am really interested in the idea of a group for the peri- and menopausal set, and would be willing to be a co-leader. Could the group be expanded to include mothering adult children, and even grandmothering? ElderSon is 30 with 3 & 5 year olds of his own, my kids still at home are 15 & 16. I have also been active on the adoption/fostering, homeschooling (unschooling) and special needs forums over the years. These days I mainly hang out in the TAO and mindful home neighborhoods.

 

It seems groups can only be started be someone willing to be a leader, and I hesitate to commit myself alone - any takers?

post #49 of 77


Same here! I don't want to be a leader!
 

 

 

It seems groups can only be started be someone willing to be a leader, and I hesitate to commit myself alone - any takers?



 

post #50 of 77

Okay, I got brave and volunteered to be the leader; requested the social group space. Need a welcoming, descriptive title, if anyone has suggestions -

 

Also would welcome a co-leader...

 

Will post back here when it is up.

post #51 of 77

Subbing.

 

I'm 47 with a 20 year old and an 18 month old.

post #52 of 77

Descriptive title:  OLD MOMS  wink1.gif

 

 

post #53 of 77

Oooh, my kind.

 

I'm 48 with a 22 y.o. and 18 y.o.

post #54 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamarhu View Post

Okay, I got brave and volunteered to be the leader; requested the social group space. Need a welcoming, descriptive title, if anyone has suggestions -

 

Also would welcome a co-leader...

 

Will post back here when it is up.



Wow-thanks!  

post #55 of 77

Wow thanks so much Mamarhu!

While I did say I did not want to be a leader, I will commit to being an active participant!

I am 53 by the way, and my son is 13. I think I might be the oldest here!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamarhu View Post

Okay, I got brave and volunteered to be the leader; requested the social group space. Need a welcoming, descriptive title, if anyone has suggestions -

 

Also would welcome a co-leader...

 

Will post back here when it is up.



 

post #56 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by raksmama View Post

Wow thanks so much Mamarhu!

While I did say I did not want to be a leader, I will commit to being an active participant!

I am 53 by the way, and my son is 13. I think I might be the oldest here!

 



 



Nope not necessarily the oldest, I am also 53 with a 21 year old DD, a 14 yo DD and an 11 yo DS.

post #57 of 77

Lol, you ladies are making me feel like a spring chicken!

 

 

post #58 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mirzam View Post



Nope not necessarily the oldest, I am also 53 with a 21 year old DD, a 14 yo DD and an 11 yo DS.



Age........wisdom........isn't there a correlation here somewhere ...?

post #59 of 77


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by karne View Post





Age........wisdom........isn't there a correlation here somewhere ...?


Gosh, I hope so.  

 

 

post #60 of 77

Hee - hee. So far I am the oldest (admitted) at 54, kids 15, 16, and 30.

 

And, yes, with age does come wisdom, at least it better.

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