Waiting 3+ mos to ttc - (wanna start another group thread?) - Page 2

[osker]

Hey, we are some kid loving people around here!  I was a nanny for a decade before going to grad school and H is still a nanny!  Jenn, we both did twins for a long time, I think we've had eight sets between us or so.  Now we just have one little 2yo that H nannies for and our lil 10mo.  We've got them together most of the time, 60 hours a week or so, and I'm at home, so it's the four of us all day, nearly every day!

I feel like I'm in this weird place with the whole process.  It took us 3 years to get H pregnant, but was immensely important to us that she carry first. For some reason I feel cocky about getting knocked up, like it will be easy for me.. so I'm not being as serious as I should be about the whole thing. For example, I got the cross hairs on FF the other day and haven't temped since.  I haven't been using OPKs everyday either, which I was planning to do...  And I know that I 'should' give up coffee.. but, man, I love it! I don't want to give it up yet!  We're planning to try in January.. when would you give up coffee if you were me?

[jennp85]

Once you get a set of twins it's easy to get hired for more!  I'm on my third set right now.  I really enjoy working with more than one kid at a time.  I've been able to take them to the park the last two days in a row and noticed a different lesbian family each day.  I love seeing all kinds of families, that's why I love my neighborhood.  But, it also reaffirms that I don't want to wait to have kids, I don't want to be in my 40s or 50s running around the playground after toddlers.  I have nothing against anyone who chooses to, it's just not what I want my parenting experience to be.

I did a little research on coffee last spring and found some varying information.  Some sources said none at all, some gave a maximum number of milligrams of caffeine a day (coffee, caffeinated teas, pop and *gasp* chocolate).  My roommate said she drank one cup of regular coffee a day.  She seriously diluted it and stretched it throughout the day.  I've been slowly reading a book about organic pregnancy and their section on coffee talked about buying organic, fair trade, shade grown.  I could go back and read it again and tell you what it says, if you'd like.  I stopped drinking coffee in August because I was getting more migraines when I did.  I think it's probably more important to just start seriously thinking about everything you eat and drink and work towards making better choices now.  You might naturally start changing your coffee drinking habits as you become more aware.  I'm working on cutting back my intake of processed sugar and increasing my fruits and vegetables.

I feel the same, slightly cocky, that I might get pregnant really easily, yet I don't want to get my hopes up.  I'm sure we'll all be quickly humbled by the process!  I'm waiting to get my hand-me-down clearblue easy monitor from a friend this weekend and then I will start tracking more earnestly.

[osker]

Jenn, you're so right about thinking about every little thing. I think I don't want to face that it's my turn to think about it.. DW (H) has some pretty obvious reactions to processed foods, especially High Fructose Corn Syrup. Plus, she's a vegetarian, so she's always been the one who picks apart every little bit of foods, and I've always been the one who ate anything, drank anything... I also have a bit of social anxiety which I mitigate by having a glass of wine or two with friends... I'm a crutch kind of girl. A savorer who could nurse a cup of coffee at the very least all morning. One glass of wine could hang in my hand for a couple of hours... but tell me that I can't have it at all??  I need that cup in hand! ;)  Okay, I know not really need.... but still...

Our DD has similar reactions to HFCS, and we haven't yet introduced corn or wheat... so people give us grief all the time about her food as well... and she is an amazing eater. I guess I'm just not ready to give up the peace keeper position of "the one who eats everything"...  Our whole family will be "those picky ones".  I mean, our families are lovely and supportive and love us, but they still think we're weird that we won't just stop by McDonald's for a quick salad or something "healthy" for lunch.  My own mother is fond of saying "I don't even know what a papaya tastes like!", or "I don't even know what baba ganoush is!" in response to what E eats and enjoys.  I think that it is time that I jump on the healthy for myself and my family band wagon, rather than the please everyone else because it's easier band wagon...

[jennp85]

Yeh, I was one of those people that could and would eat anything (and believe me I had tons of unaddressed health issues caused by nutritional deficiencies).  I found a correlation between MSG and my migraines when I was 18.  I got very ill when I was 21 and no one could figure out what it was, no doctor was willing to look at the nutritional aspects of my health.  I discovered it was gluten.  I've been gluten free for almost 5 years and the social aspect was and still is the hardest part for me to deal with.  There are a lot more options now than just 5 years ago, but I am the one who is difficult to eat food with.  I can only eat out at certain places and even then I risk getting sick.  The first time I visited my dad after going GF, he washed every dish twice just in case.  It was very sweet and I've had a few friends go through great lengths, and enjoy the process, of having me over for dinner or bringing something to a party to share that I could eat too.  Everything I've read has drilled it into my head that my health is more important than the way people perceive me.  That has been a hard thing to work toward and there are foods I am working on giving up, bad habits that I've had for way too long.  I am so interested in nutrition that I am looking into going to school to become a Registered Dietitian (after I have a kid and I'm getting a ton of flack for that decision).  The book I'm reading right now is The Complete Organic Pregnancy.  I went looking for something like this and when I found it I nearly had an anxiety attack.  It is thankfully written in a very upbeat way that feels empowering to read, instead of being doomsday-esque like I feared.  It is reaffirming the fact that I need to make healthy choices for me as well as teaching me the logic of how to do it.  I need to choose the banana with cacao powder over super processed ice cream full of sugar and chemicals.  I also just watched FoodNation after I put the kids to bed, so that has me thinking about all this even more now.  As for your coffee, it's not a bad idea to work slowly toward weening yourself from the caffeine dependence so that you aren't stressing over it all at once.  Everything I keep reading says that TTC can be oh so stressful and that stress reduces your chances of getting pregnant, so stress over the coffee now so you don't have to then, lol!  Do you like green tea?  It isn't coffee but it might help you in the weening process.  And even if you drink coffee or wine during pregnancy, it won't make you be a bad person or a bad mom.  And if your kid ends up hyper I'm sure it's just the donors fault ;-)

[seraf]

Hey everyone, just saw your conversation on temping and wanted to chime in.  I worked nights for most of my TTC and while my chart wasn't textbook, it was certainly readable.  I could easily look at it and tell that I had ovulated.  I just had to keep track of my afternoon temps and morning temps.

I didn't give up coffee until right before my last try.  Mighta shoulda done it sooner.  

[cortinacolorado]

That's a great idea, Seraf. Thanks. I've been stressing out about even starting to temp because we're such inconsistent sleepers. I work from home and make my own schedule for the most part, but I'm a night person by constitution. Both DP and I wake up several times a night most nights, so by the time she gets up for work it's pretty unusual for me to have reached 3-5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. On the positive side, we're already used to the odd schedule, so maybe we'll be at an advantage when there's an infant in the mix. It's got to be good for something, right?

[jennp85]

Hahaha, yeh, me too!  I'm hoping I'll be at an advantage of functioning with interrupted crappy sleep when there is a kid causing it.  Having so much twin experience, it will be a breeze changing one diaper at a time, right!?

[osker]

How far in advance are you guys taking your prenatal vitamins?  I'm thinking I should start soon? 6 months ahead of ttc?

[jennp85]

The books that I've read have said a couple months ahead is good.  It's mostly because of Folic Acid.  So if you have a regular multi vitamin it should already have 400mg of folic acid whereas a prenatal one should have 600-800mg.  If you're concerned about having enough folic acid but have a big bottle of regular vitamins, then just buy a folic acid supplement.  The other things in a prenatal are pretty much the same.  I was using "What to Expect When You're Expecting" as a reference for what vitamins you want in a prenatal.  I've been taking a multi for so long that I'll buy prenatal when I get pregnant.  It's probably more important to look at your overall well-being: stress, diet, and exercise.  Look at the good stuff that enters your body like water, fruits, vegetables and whole grains, and the bad stuff like alcohol, caffeine, and chemicals in your environment.

I've been absent on here for a bit because I've decided to move to Denver and study holistic nutrition.  I'll be leaving Chicago in a month so getting pregnant is on hold for now.  The interesting development is that I have found a KD.  He has agreed to one at home insemination before I move (so about 2 weeks from now) and then after that we will work with a fertility clinic in Chicago to process and ship to me in Denver with the goal of starting next summer.  Crazy big changes for me!  I know the chances of me getting pregnant on the first try with this KD is really slim, but it could happen. (cross posting this part)

Any updates from anyone else on this thread?

[JustAnotherJenny]

6 months seems appropriate to me.  I've been taking one for years because my doc told me that women of childbearing age can use the nutrients in general and that it wasn't harmful to do so.  Though, I don't remember to take it every day.......

I'm ramping up to start trying in the next month or two. 

Has anyone had a weird reaction to taking vitex?  I'm pretty sure it caused me to hemorrhage.  This snowballed into a battery of tests, ultrasounds (NORMAL! AGAIN!), an endometrial biopsy, etc.  I'm still awaiting the results for the biopsy, so fingers crossed!  The doctor didn't seem too worried, but basically they are looking to rule out Atypical Hyperplasia and endometrial/uterine cancer.  I'm almost certain that it's the vitex though, because this was the first cycle I started using it and I had a lot of symptoms.  If I had been insemming this cycle, I would have been CONVINCED that I was pregnant.  Sore breasts, burning tingling nipples, it was weird because it started after my period had already ended (and just for the bleeding started back up again.)

Next week, I am getting tested to see if I am a Cystic Fibrosis carrier and if that comes back negative and the biopsy is fine, then I should be on track to start.  If my CF test is positive I'll need to pay to get my donor tested.  If HE is positive, then I'm back to the drawing board looking for another donor. (Let's hope that doesn't happen!)

I can't believe I'm getting so close!

[JustAnotherJenny]

JennP good luck with the move and the insem!  I wish you LOTS of beginner's luck!!! Keep us posted.  :-)

[cortinacolorado]

We're about six months out from our first planned IUI attempt and just ordered prenatal vitamins the other day. (Got a fantastic deal for really high quality ones, too, in case anyone's interested!) I'm not sure that it's absolutely necessary to start them so soon, but I can't tell you what a relief it was for me to take that step. The waiting to try can get really frustrating to me, so this feels like movement toward the ultimate goal. Plus, if I happen to land a good freelance gig and we find ourselves able to afford the process sooner than expected, I'll be physically ready to go. Crossing my fingers!

[JustAnotherJenny]

What a relief!  I just got my results back from the endometrial biopsy.  Diganosis is benign -- Disordered Proliferative Endometrium.  Does anyone have any information on this?  There is very little out there on Dr. Google. 

Basically the cause is unopposed estrogen -- meaning not enough progesterone to really clear things out of my uterus so the lining just keeps growing.  My luteal phase is a bit short, so I guess this is not surprising.  I just changed to a new doctor and she thinks it makes sense to do a 10 day dose of progesterone to attempt to restart the pulse of my cycle and hopefully get the ratios of estrogen/progesterone back in order.

I think it makes sense, but part of me is so, so, afraid to get back on the train of hormone pills of any kind.  She did explain that it would not suppress ovulation or prevent my body from making it's own estrogen as normal birth control pills would.  So, theoretically, it shouldn't mess me up -- then again, theoretically neither should the birth control pills.

This is the opposite of the precancerous atypical hyperplasia according to the doctor.  This is NOT precancer, so this is good news.  From what I've read, if it continues this **COULD** become the precancerous kind. 

I guess August will not be my first cycle. That's okay, basically if an embryo were to decide to hang out in my uterus, it probably wouldn't stick around.  The excessive lining growth is basically not structurally strong since the blood supply is weak and the cells start to die off because they never start with all healthy new growth.  At least this is another step in the right direction with more good information, right?  And... at least I'm not going to lose my uterus and all of my hopes and dreams of carrying a baby.  I have a lot to be grateful for today!

[osker]

Any step in the right direction is a good step! Hooray for good news!

[TillyBarry]

JustAnotherJenny,  glad for your good news.  Hopefully the progesterone will help.  You mention that you do acupuncture and take herbs?  What does your acupuncturist (or / herbalist) have to say about this?  Maybe some herbs can help with the imbalance?  But it seems you may have tried that already.

JennP, best of luck with the insemination.

[cortinacolorado]

So happy about your great news, JustAnotherJenny. I wondered the same thing as TillyBarry re: acupuncture specifically to help boost your progesterone. I'm sure you've spoken with your practitioner about it already. I hope for your sake (since you expressed concern) that you can avoid pharm hormones. GL!

[mtnlisa]

Hi ladies, I'm looking for just this group, hoping to hear about other AI mamas who have continued to bf through ttc #2. Our baby is seven months, I'm 34, and we're hoping for close in age children (with me carrying again). Our RE said finish bfing and then we'll go ahead with clomid (which worked like a charm on the first try). I'm actually kinda disappointed about that suggestion because I'm already looking forward to pregnancy again! Anyone have any thoughts? Could I pump and dump during the clomid? Right now is obviously not a good time because our baby clearly gets nearly all of her nutrition from breast milk, mostly just tastes solids now and then. Thanks!

[osker]

Hi Mtnlisa, Welcome!  Not sure about clomid and bf, might want to ask over on the kellymom.com forums?  We'll be ttc #2, but switching carriers, so not much help there either, sorry.  We'd love to have our kids close together, would've loved to be pg already, but that's not quite in the cards for us just yet. I LOVE babies close together!

[TillyBarry]

Mtnlisa,

I am in a similar situation to you.  My son is 12months and still BF, and we would really like to start to conceive another child.  I have only had 2 periods, so I am starting to chart.  It is a little daunting to think about spending money on sperm when fertility may not be the best during BF!   So, for now, we are going with the charting and waiting to see approach.  Also I am 33.  And I wold really like to be pregnant again soon.  And we would like the children close in age.  Also our son's donor is not available so we have to think about what we want to do.  Has your cycle returned?

[mtnlisa]

Tilly,

my cycles haven't returned at all.  I really don't have any idea how long we go between nursings at night, but I don't think its more than 3 hrs very often (I totally sleep through it now).  I'm pretty sure that's the reason--not that I am complaining.  I've thought a few times that I've had some CM, but I think that my scar tissue might be producing it--I had two large tears and one took 4 months to heal and it seems to have healed some "inside" skin on the outside and I think it tries to keep itself lubricated if that makes sense.  We just heard back from the doc yesterday about clomid v. breastfeeding and I'm still feeling a little disappointed.  Really, it pretty much sums up the hard part of parenting for me--ambivalence about the right thing to do!  Should I wean on my schedule so that we can have another baby soon or should I just wait and see.  I think we will probably end up waiting and seeing. We would ahve like to have them 18 months apart, but I don't hitnk I would begin the weaning process on my schedule until Josie is 18 months old.  But thanks, Osker, I'll check and see if kellymom has any research about clomid too.