Waiting 3+ mos to ttc - (wanna start another group thread?) - Page 3

[TillyBarry]

Mtnlisa,

I have thought that through nursing, your baby and your body are setting the pace for when the right time for another baby is, if that makes sense, but of course, its much more complicated than that. if you are not ready to wean yet, then your cycle will not return.  

I hear you about ambivalence though....and it is so hard.  I am ambivalent too.  I want another baby, and I want to be pregnant soon.  But, my relationship with my partner needs attention, my baby is a very active one year old which makes me think that the two's may be tough and need my patience and focus solely, and our donor is not available.

[lovestreet13]

Hi ladies!  I'm a really-newbie, both here in the forums and in terms of Mommy-dom.  My partner and I have been together for 4 years.  I'm 31 and she's 32.  The baby bug bit her first, some time last year.  After some loving, teasing encouragement from her about how wonderful it would be if I was to bear our child, I eventually began to agree.  It was a bizarre realization for me, because I've always been dead-set against having my own children.  I always wanted to adopt, if I could even imagine having kids.  I realize that was almost certainly because my adult long-term relationships had been with men, and there was no way I wanted to have children with any of them.  Once I decided to live openly as I've always truly wanted, came out to my whole family, and found a wonderful, loving relationship, the thought of motherhood is very appealing.  So appealing, that it's getting harder and harder for us to wait!  :)

As of now, we are renting a house, hoping to buy our own house in the late winter/spring.  I have begun to research, but I know that I'm sooo at the beginning.  In a few days, I'll start charting my basal temp, I've registered with a nearby sperm bank, I've looked into what clinics work with both the sperm bank and my health insurance, I'm reading books on lesbian pregnancy, and I've started to make changes to my diet, which was already pretty darn healthy.  I need to get into the doctor to have things checked out, make sure my parts are all working as they should.  And then the thousand next steps that follow after that...!

Of course, I'm hoping for best-case scenario, i.e. everything is working great, but I can't help think that might be naive.  You hear so many stories about the tons of tries it took to get pregnant, or all the health problems that can get in the way.  Even reading in this site has made me more apprehensive.  But then, I also have a dear friend, (who recommended the sperm bank to me, btw), who got pregnant at her 2nd insemination.

So obviously, we are waiting because I'm at the very beginning of this process.  Still just trying to take in all the information, make lists of what needs to be done, plan how we can get it done.  I'm excited, and of course, just hoping it all goes well.  Any advice would be appreciated, and if I post with "dumb" questions or don't know all the lingo, please forgive me!  ;)

I am thankful that there are forums like this.  Ahhh, internet chat.  Without this, I would be bothering the hell out of my 2 friends who went through this process!!  So thanks in advance!

[aljm41910]

Hello everyone!

I've been a member for a while but disappeared for a bit but now I'm back.

DW, J, and I started the whole process back in April with me getting a complete physical, at that time my pap came back abnormal. That kind of put things on hold for awhile. I had a second pap in June and everything came back fine so now I'm ready to get the process of getting pregnant started again.

J has kind of been dragging her feet with things, like calling her brother, who has agreed to be our donor, to make sure that he's still okay with everything. I think a lot of her hesitation comes from the fear of not knowing what to expect and what the steps are. I'm pretty clueless as well but I figure we'll just learn as we go along.

I bought a basal thermometer before the abnormal pap and it's just been sitting in my dresser. The whole temping and charting thing is so confusing to me. However, I think its time for me to pull it out and figure it out. :)

J doesn't want to me to be very pregnant during the middle of the summer because it gets so hot here so the plan is to start TTC in March or April.

For those that are further along, at what point did you make an appointment with a fertility specialist? 

[mtnlisa]

Amanda,
My partner and I decided to start trying in Oct of 2009 and did two at home tries. I had been charting for over a year--bbt and various fluids was most all, I periodically during that year used opk's. We decided around Xmas that we really wanted a baby more than we wanted to DIY the whole thing. I made an appt to meet with an RE on feb 17 of last year, and we got pregnant at our first insem on march 20! It can happen super fast. We're hopeful it will be super fast again since my cycles haven't returned. For us, we weren't trying very hard until we met with the doc. We were in analysis paralysis and reading lots of chat boards and books. I started seeing my acupuncturist with the specific goal of fertility around the same time because I had read so many stories that involved that and/or Chinese medicine being the final thing that worked. IMHO, go ahead and meet a doc to find out how their process works etc. My bloodwork indicated that I was not regularly ovulating and we used a low dose of clomid which really negated all the charting, I just stocked up on opk's because idid one every single pee from the end of the clomid til the O!

Currently adjusting to the idea that it will be more, maybe much more than three months before we conceive again, parenting is really a zen experience for me time and again, of constantly being with what is and letting go of expectations. It's helping me a lot to realize how much I already miss her baby days that it is probably good to enjoy Now and not rush for another babe.

[jennp85]

Wow! I finally got a chance to catch up on this thread. I had to travel to Denver to secure my move and then home to Michigan for a wedding and a much needed family visit. There have been so many posts on here that I don't know what to comment on. I'm totally ambivalent, too, lol. I want what I want now. But then again, I know that waiting might make things easier. It feels like this impending insemination is a bit of a Russian Roulette. There will never be a perfect time to get pregnant, but this is my one chance with fresh sperm, and I feel totally ready. I've had negative reactions from some of the people I've mentioned this round to. They say things like "wouldn't you rather do this with a partner?" or "how are you going to go to school and have a kid?" No, I don't want to do this with a partner, and I will make it work out beautifully! I've been reading some single mom by choice threads and I feel like how they describe the experience is exactly what I want. I've weighed the options and I want this to work! My donor agreement is done, we just need to make copies and sign it. I've got the supplies I need and I'm doing my best to stay relaxed and ignore the stresses in my life. I am seeing my acupuncturist (who is totally supportive of me getting pregnant but has never understood my passion for Bikram Yoga, go figure) twice this week and twice next week. I think I'll pick up some Robitussin tomorrow. I've been peeing on my OPK stick every morning and somehow forcing myself to not pee every time I wake up during the night! If all goes well and I get pregnant, then I will know by August 22nd, less than a week after moving to Denver. Man, putting that in writing is heavy. Of course, I'll know sooner if I start puking on the plane ride there ;-) So, any crossed fingers or little positive thoughts are very welcome. I should start insemination in a couple days, eek!

[mtnlisa]

Jenn, it totally sounds like you are in the wrong thread hahaha! Good luck, however! We live south of Denver and we like it here, also can share some doc recommendations if this insem doesn't work out or if you want to step up your game

[jennp85]

Lol, Well when I joined this thread it was going to be about 3 months to starting AI through an LGBTQ clinic.  Things just changed and moved up a little in timing.  I will totally message you if I need doctor recommendations!  My insurance might dictate differently since I have Michigan insurance, but I'll take all the help I can get.  I will check out this months insem thread, too.

[osker]

Hi Guys!

  We're back from our insane month of travel, and I started taking prenatal vitamins yesterday! Whoo hooo!!!  

Okay, so really that's not all that exciting.. but it is a little bit.  I would totally love to be pregnant right now.. but I go back to work tomorrow after taking this year off to be with E.. it's a year long job that I absolutely have to finish by Aug 2012 (it's internship for my doctorate), and we're traveling to NOLA in July on a service trip.. so.. I can be no more than 7mos pregnant in July, probably better to be 5mos or so...  but I've continued doing OPKs, even in Europe which was nutty... I think jet lag messed with my cycle just a little bit as I was due to ovulate the day we arrived.  I'm still drinking coffee and wine, I'm going to try to wean myself slowly I think. I can't decide if I should wean off coffee by having just as much, only weak, or having less volume... I'm trying to do some self-talk about my own awesome fertility... 

 How's everyone else doing??

[elspethpaisley]

Hi all,

I'm new at this whole thing too! My partner and I are planning to start trying to conceive sometime in early 2012, but are just at the beginning of the process now. I haven't started charting yet, but am getting ready to. We're currently looking for a sperm donor; we want it to be someone we know, have a few guys in mind, and I just popped the question to the first of them this evening! I was practicing what I was going to say in my mind over and over, and it came out pretty easily, but now I'm so nervous and jittery I feel like I could throw up. All this waiting is so hard... and I'm sure it'll only get harder. I'm excited, and really nervous.

[osker]

Welcome Elspeth!  The beginning excitement is so much fun! Enjoy it! Revel in it! Roll around in it!!  It's such a lovely, lovely feeling!!! 

[TillyBarry]

Welcome Elspeth!  It is so exciting and nerve wracking and so much fun.  My partner and I nervously courted known donors.  I remember that anxiety.  And charting is great too because it is the beginning of the process.  Best of luck. 

Osker, giving up coffee is so hard, and you are starting to get ready early. 

We decided we are going to try next month. so in four or five weeks.  I started acupuncture, taking herbs, vitamins and supplements.  I too am cutting down the coffee and alcohol.  But not completely for now.  Feeling nervous and excited all over again....

[mtnlisa]

Welcome Elspeth! Good luck! The excitement of getting ready and the hope is overwhelming, no? Totally worth it! Keep going forward!

I'm glad I'm still breastfeeding so not in need of giving up anything yet!  We are still getting really excited about having another baby--especially since our baby doesn't really seem like a baby anymore--she started walking last week (8.5 months) and I think today is getting ready to cut her first teeth (I hope thats what all the fuss and needing to sleep with my nipple in her mouth is about)  At the same time, no fertility signs so we've made no effort to reduce breastfeeding--I'm thinking about night weaning around the time that she is one--DP will be off of school and so will be able to help with the going back to sleep.  We'll see if night weaning has any effect on my fertility--I guess that puts us more than 3 months away still..

[elspethpaisley]

Thanks for the warm welcome, osker, tilly, and mtnlisa! I am getting really excited - we've been talking about this for so long and finally it feels like things are starting to move forward. We had a good conversation with our potential KD this evening, and even though he was not our top choice, just the guy I had the opportunity to ask first, now I feel like he really could be the right person. We're planning to talk with the other potential donor within the next few days, and I look forward to being in the position of choosing between them! :)

[osker]

Hello again all!

  Nothing new and exciting happening over here... just wanted to check in with everyone.  

We are on such a long road to baby #2. *sigh*  We're no longer going to New Orleans in July, but we are also not at all certain about living situation or jobs or anything for the Fall, so it seems like not the right time to be getting pregnant.  BUT! I did send in the first chapter of my dissertation to my advisor today, so I am feeling good about being on the road to finishing that and having nothing really standing in our way.  We're potentially talking ttc in October at this point.

Everyone else?

[AmandaAnn]

Hello there! I'm new here and just wanted to say Hi to everyone! My partner and I are hoping to do our first ttc try this February. I hope this thread starts back up :-)

[osker]

Hi AmandaAnn! You probably want to try out the Queer Conceptions thread for more up to the minute ttc stuff. February is NOW!  Lucky you!

[habitat]

Hey everyone! I'm getting ready to start TTC in August/September as an SMBC. I inseminated last September to no avail, and things were getting hectic so I decided to wait before trying again. I know it's the right decision for me, but this waiting thing is SO HARD.

I have a known donor who is a really good friend of mine, and I have a lot of support for my pregnancy and beyond.

So excited. Jeesh.

[AmandaAnn]

Hello habitat! It's nice to 'meet' you, so to speak, ha-ha. I'm also (hopefully) starting to ttc in a few months and am also using a known donor who is really good friend of me and my partner. If you ever want to chat about anything, feel free to send me a message. I joined this site in hopes to meet others who were waiting to start ttc soon, but it seems everyone is already into it or are pregnant, and I'm just a newbie, lol. Hope to see you around the boards :-)

[mtnlisa]

Glad to see this thread is still wandering around!  I've had a post-partum period, so we are one step closer (though it was 30 days ago and no further signs of fertility) We night weaned and voila!  Not really ready (myself or my daughter) to completely wean so it looks like it will be a little longer.  Our RE, however, is completely willing to let us try unmedicated if, via OPK's, it looks like I am actually cycling.  That is great news.  Has anyone had their AMH levels tested? Has anyone had an AMH over 10?  I've heard this is a PCO symptom, so it might make sense that we just wait til we can clomid again!  Thinking fertile thoughts!

[JustAnotherJenny]

Hello everyone!

I just got back from the RE today -- looking like August-ish will be my first try!  We are planning to do clomid for 5 days at 50 mg with a monitored cycle and hcg trigger (ovidrel).  I'm going to do one IUI per cycle since I only have 3 vial we're trying to make them count!

I kind of can't believe I'm FINALLY here!