And maybe it's just a developmental stage? At 5, kids are learning the power of words, and what it means to be 'violent' with words, in the same way that 2 year olds are learning the power of being 'violent' with hitting. This doesn't mean that all kids go through these stages, or that all kids have the same intensity, but it is something they have to learn. Do you know the favorite insults of 4-5 year olds? "You're not my friend!" followed closely by "You can't come to my birthday party."
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I remember playing when I was about that age and spanking my stuffed Humpty Dumpty doll with incredible fury. My beating of that poor doll was completely out of proportion anything I'd ever seen in my family (I was spanked exactly once as a child). I remember it probably because it surprised my mother so much. Looking back on it, I think it was a reflection of my own internal emotional frustration. But it wasn't anything pathological and I wasn't imitating anything.
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It sounds to me that her "Jekyll and Hyde" play is exactly what she needs right now. Have you read Playful Parenting? It talks about how kids often work out ideas in the 'safe' space of play.
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Our son is 10, and is working out ideas of aggression and cheating. He's not doing it in real life -- it only comes out when we play basketball or baseball. We get into lovely, loud arguments about whether something was a foul or out of bounds. In everyday life, ds is a very quiet, mild mannered child who rarely, if ever, argues. But in the safe space of playing basketball, he can try on the role of being obnoxious and argumentative. He's still the sweetest kid, and there's always a slight smile on his face behind the argument, but I can tell it helps him.
