Eleven Year old Boy newly diagnosed with Aspergers...

[wanderinggypsy]

Hi all... I spent a fair bit of time on these boards four years ago when my newborn girl was going through cancer treatment. I will never forget what a source of support these boards were. Now, my eleven year old son has just been diagnosed with Aspergers. Please, parents. I don't know where to begin. What can you tell me about where to begin helping my brilliant little boy?  He is so sweet, so smart, and so lost most of the time...

Any comments will be appreciated.

[Kristine233]

Welcome to the board! As a parent with Aspergers I can tell you the thing that would have helped me the most at that age would just to have understanding. Allow him to express himself and get interested in his interests right along with him even if they seem off the wall. Also help him understand social stuff but don't say he has to do something one way or he's wrong. Instead point out why people do the things they do and help him find ways to interact that's appropriate.

My parents didn't know about Aspergers and I was kind of "left to the wolves" when it came to social stuff. I simply didn't understand why kids did certain things or how I should act to get the desired responses. Thus, I acted out a lot to get attention and always felt out of place. Having a parent to model and explain things would have been amazing! As an adult, once I learned I was different and why, I was able to make friends and learn how to appropriately interact with others in a meaningful way.

2 of my kids have Autism/Aspergers, no surprise. The BIGGEST thing that has helped them is going to social groups. They participate in social therapy type groups at school where they learn how to express themselves and they also participate in extra activities like sports and groups that they choose. Being around other kids and having me (or dad) there to help model behaviors and help lead things really helped them find their way.

[EarthRootsStarSoul]

In the course of daily life, just start voicing what people are thinking and why they say and do what they do.  While it's obvious to neurotypicals, people with ASD will not pick up on what isn't said out loud. 

And it's not that big a deal, I grew up with undiagnosed Asperger's too. 

[Alenushka]

Give yourself time to feel what you feel. When my smart kind child was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder my DH and I felt grief. And it is normal. Of course, our life with our son did not turned out as we imagined. It is different. However, it is interesting and crazy.  We got more support in school than we ever imagined.

One thing we had to deal with is all sort of "cures" people offer us but we learned to just shrug our shoulders.

I agree with social groups.  Some places run mixed ones. My sons has kids with Asperger and mental health issues and different ages too. The groups has been very benefitial.

[Piglet68]

I've recently figured out that my two kids have Asperger's. They are going to the doc this week for a referral, but after reading Tony Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome I'm already sure. The descriptions fit my kids so well. 

What I've done so far (it's been a week): grab a bunch of books from the library. I would highly recommend starting with Attwood's book. I also have Freaks, Geeks, and Asperger's Syndrome, which my almost-9 year old daughter is enjoying. 

We homeschool, so I have always been there to support my kids through social situations. But I never really understood until now what they were and were not "getting", so this has been very helpful. My son can't really participate in regular social groups (sports teams, etc) where there are so few adults and lots of kids because he can be quite challenging (aggression, inappropriate rough-housing, etc) and few of the people running these things have any experience dealing with it. As we move through the diagnosis process we'll be able to access activities like that for kids with social challenges, so he can participate in these things with a helpful guide (who isn't his mother, lol). 

I've also reached out to my local homelearner community (if you're in school you can ask around there) to find out what's available and who is good, etc. It's great to have support around you (lucky my best friend has a 22  year old son with AS; you think I'd have figured it out sooner!).

Hugs, and maybe we can support each other. I think I'll be a regular around here from now on! :-)