At what age should DD no longer see DH naked? - Page 3

[lovingmommyhood]

Originally Posted by transylvania_mom 

I was comparing parents bathing with children of opposite sex. Ds is 6, and dd is 21 mo! She hasn't even noticed that his dad and brother are different from her. Yet my mom is concerned about my dd, but didn't say anything about my ds.
 

As far as that goes my DS is six as well and my DD is 3. It's never occurred to me that they shouldn't bathe together. My kids talk about each other's genitals very rarely "DD has a vagina because she's a girl like you mommy but we have penises" that sort of thing... Oh and my sons just loooovvee to say "Oh, OW my weeeenie!!!" and DD has started saying that now. 

I wouldn't worry about that in the least as long as there's no actual problem with the kids not respecting each other's bodies. 

[MountainMamaGC]

The rule in our home is when DD starts wanting more privacy regarding her nudity, then we will give her that privacy. Not only in regards to her nudity but ours as well.

As of now that is just not happening. The kid strips off all her clothes when ever she is alone in her room and comes prancing out naked. lol. Its not the nudity part that bugs me, but her naked butt all over my furniture. lol.

[mamazee]

Our rule is that whenever anyone wants a change, they make that change. So my husband got uncomfortable with dd #1's curiosity about his naked body, and he started being careful to wear at least underpants around her. She is still not particularly modest, though I do make her wear underpants because I think it's cleaner. When she wants more modesty, she will get it. I keep expecting it to happen and she keeps wanting to run around in underpants around the house. Everyone walks in on me while I shower or change clothes or whatever and it hasn't bothered me yet so I still let it happen. But if it made me uncomfortable, I'd say I wanted privacy.

[APToddlerMama]

Originally Posted by transylvania_mom 

I was comparing parents bathing with children of opposite sex. Ds is 6, and dd is 21 mo! She hasn't even noticed that his dad and brother are different from her. Yet my mom is concerned about my dd, but didn't say anything about my ds.
 

oops! Misunderstood you.  Yeah, nothing weird about that!

[rightkindofme]

I require people to wear underwear in the house because I think sitting on the furniture naked is gross. :P  That said, I'm not a naked person.  I like my clothes thankyouverymuch.  My husband and soon-to-be-housemate are both nudists.

And Chamomile Girl, my kids are out back naked all day every day and we don't use sunscreen. :)

[matte]

My mother was nude around me long after I expressed my discomfort with it (age 10 or so), and would totally blow off my own requests for privacy in the bathroom and shower when I was nude. She would call me in to talk with her when she was nude, etc, and even sat around nude in her hotel room with her partner when I had to share a room with her (post college). I can't tell you how many times I've seen her on the toilet etc. Frankly, I think her insistence on doing this was a sign of no boundaries to the point of being abusive. It was very traumatic to me, not that she was naked, but that she seemed to insist on me seeing it.

So, every family is different, but I would strongly urge people to consider the importance of showing respect for their children's boundaries around issues like this, and maybe even marking the boundaries before it becomes an issue for their children.

[princesstutu]

I just noticed there were replies that referred to my reply.

It is difficult to share all the intricacies that went into our conversations about this topic, but yes, I know the kid wasn't uncomfortable b/c we kept discussing it afterward and he told me he was fine (the level of discussion in our family is such that I questioned that and approached him about it, again) and he understood my perspective.

Maybe that would not work for other people in their families, but it worked for us in ours. 

We have lots of instances in our family (since there are so many of us) where we have to clearly discuss boundaries and when it's okay to force "my" beliefs onto someone else.  (Actually, I would hope this is normal conversation in any household, regardless of size.)  In the case of nudity, I do not believe it's okay to force my beliefs onto someone else and I also don't believe it's okay for someone else to force his beliefs onto me.  Hence discussion and a resolution that works for all interested parties. 

Interpret how you will.  If it doesn't work for your family, I understand.  That does not make it inherently traumatic. 

It's interesting that folks would assume that an 8yo would be traumatized and lose trust in his mother from the little bit I wrote about this here.  I think we could agree that communication involves sometimes uncovering the real root of discomfort in a conflict and if that root is gotten to, I think a workable resolution can be acquired.  That is the point of healthy communication.  I know, though, that not everyone practices healthy communication, even on message boards.