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You might be a 'crunchy' parent if... - Page 8

post #141 of 218
Thread Starter 



honestly in typical age of 6 1/2 fashion, he changed the subject while I was starting to fumble my way through a response....starting with...."well yeah, I have heard of a few..."

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamayogibear View Post


I'm curious, what did you say?



 



 

post #142 of 218
Thread Starter 


well....I guess it's just my own mentality that I've only heard of ONE in a Mothering article  ;) and my opinion that most of the homebirthers I know have reasons they want a female, and a female who has had children...and his dad is from a culture where men don't even attend the births of their own children typically, it is a woman-dominated domain.  So...the pause while I look for an answer.  (Said Daddy however attended all 4 of our children's births and caught the last one!  :)  live and learn)
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Ryleigh's Mommy~ View Post


 


Why??? headscratch.gif One of the best midwives I know is a male (CNM, phd)  He is actually the Head of the OB department (over all the other mw's and OB's) at the hospital where I work. 

Do you also pause about what to say when your daughter says she wants to be a doctor when she grows up??  greensad.gif

 



 

post #143 of 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alenushka View Post

There is a letter or the law and there is spirit of the law.

 

My mom gave birth to me with zero interventions. I slept in her bed till 2 and weaned when I felt like it. My mom only used cloth diapers. All the food was made from scratch. Summers were spent in the country raising chickens, picking berries, weeding the garden and drinking milk from the grass fed cows. I was home taught till age 7. We had very little TV and tons of books. My brother was no cirked.  I had few plastic toys and my grandma sewed all the clothes for my doll. 90% of the time my mothers used natural remedies like herbs and cupping and energy healers.

 

Oh, what a wonder full AP, holistic life I had as child.

 

My brother grew up to be a drug addict. I am still in therapy.

 

I grew up in Russia where this is the way life was back then and no one patted each other on the back and attached any special spiritual meaning to it.

 


You grew up in SOVIET Russia.  Your parents had no choices.  They didn't have the option of *not* doing the things they did.   In America, in 2011, we have a CHOICE to be AP or not.  The very existence of this forum is for LIKE-MINDED individuals to have a place to discuss things that are not even understood elsewhere by people who do things differently.  We will still raise children who end up drug addicts or in therapy or do something horrendous that we scratch our heads about.  But NFL and AP is a CHOICE and MDC should always be a place to discuss these things WITHOUT it being a pissing contest.

 

post #144 of 218
It's kind of sad how quickly this thread deteriorated so quickly into people feeling judged and hurt. I thought this was supposed to be a group that supported eachother. Just sayin.
post #145 of 218

I said yes! He knows that I'm a midwife and he's quite proud of me.. Now, do I think he's likely to grow up and be one? Nah. But at 6 years old I think a lot of children want to mimic their parents. 

post #146 of 218

I haven't had a chance to finish reading the whole thread yet, but I will.  I'm going to say, Ldavis, Gina, other ladies who feel insulted...

 

Gently... you are taking this too personally.  Seriously.  This really was a fun, silly thread.  The stuff I'm going to list as my ridiculous crunchiness is not about insulting or putting anyone down who doesn't do what I do.  I do the weird/crunchy stuff I do because I want to.  If you don't want to, that's ok.  Really.

 

So!  In my house you can tell the ubercrunch by the solar panels on the roof, the ever-growing organic garden, the freezer full of organic/free range meat, the lack of big permanent install electronics (we do have laptops), and the lack of paper products.  My kid is very confused by toilet paper in public restrooms and she comments on my 'mama diapers'.  When we add bodies we get rid of stuff instead of upgrading to a bigger house.  This way I don't have to sacrifice my non-crunchy obsessions. ;)

 

To make it funny, you know you are a crunchy parent when the neighbors offer to let your kid come over to watch tv at their house. ;)  

 

I forgot!  I also nursed my oldest till 3.  But then I lost my crunchy cred because I informed her that I was done so she was too. :P


Edited by rightkindofme - 6/21/11 at 9:12am
post #147 of 218

Agreed, thanks for posting - it can definitely be intimidating to come around here from the more mainstream perspective!

post #148 of 218

Whoa.  Now that I've read the whole thing... harsh.  I read AP books because I was abused as a kid and I don't know what good parenting looks like.  I really don't think I should be put down for that. :(  I believe in gentle parenting (with very strong parent set limits) because from the research I've seen it seems like the best idea.  But I screw up.

 

I do crunchy stuff because I like to.  Not because I think it will turn out better/superior kids.  It's my hobby.  I don't think everyone has to share my hobby or that I am morally superior because I am having fun figuring out composting rather than playing video games. I'm a weird anti-authority, anti-government freak and I'd like to be prepared for a revolution. :P  That's a weird quirk, not a moral superiority.  It's ok for me to be like this.  It's ok for people to be different.

 

I'm also going to jump up and say that despite the fact that I am rabidly anti-circumcision and I go off on the topic at great length, frequently.... I believe that there are reasons people do it.  They may not be reasons I like but they are reasons.  I don't get to tell someone they don't have a reason for their actions.  That's hubris.

post #149 of 218

Wow, just wow.  I am really disheartened that a thread entitled "You Know You're a Crunchy Parent When"... dissolved into ridiculous negativity.  The thread was about what YOU (as an individual) do that sets you apart from the mainstream.  It did not say "I know" or "People Know" because it was about sharing your own experience, not casting judgment on others.  The part that I find most curious and upsetting is that people got defensive BEFORE there was anything to be defensive about.  There were absolutely no judgments passed initially, just a group of parents sharing anecdotes and personal practices.  This thread is a good example of what is happening to Mothering now that the original intention of the site is less clearly maintained.  I think discourse is healthy and beneficial.  However, a group of grown ups who cannot participate in a lighthearted thread about what sets them apart (whatever that may be) is a sad occurrence. 

 

The purpose of this website was to establish a place for like minded parents to come together and discuss natural family living.  Of course everyone does not adhere to every single practice or principle.  We do what works best for our own families given our own particular circumstances.  If being proud of natural birth, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, and gentle discipline is distasteful, perhaps this is the wrong site for you.

 

In the intended spirit of the post, I know I am a crunchy parent because:

 

  1. I have not been away from my daughter for more than 30 minutes since the day she was born almost 6 months ago.
  2. I have mastered the art of getting baby poo stains out of our diaper covers.
  3. Having a breast show in public as I struggle to feed a crying baby while grocery shopping/eating/returning library books no longer phases me.
  4. Our medicine cabinet is full of herbal tinctures and salves.
  5. My DH was afraid that his homemade deodorant would be a point of suspicion when going through customs.
  6. The co-sleeper crib that we purchased has only every been used to store throw pillows and the baby has slept with us from day one :)
  7. I don't own a stroller and have figured out how to nurse in both the baby carriers I own.
  8. Neither my daughter or myself have ever been vaccinated.
  9. We bring items home to recycle them.
  10. Our dog eats homemade organic dog food.
  11. Baby was born on the floor in our bedroom (intentionally).
  12. We are members of the local food co-op.
  13. There is a placenta sitting in our freezer waiting to be planted under a tree in whatever house we end up buying.
  14. Our daughter's first solid food will be homemade organic applesauce made from locally sourced fruit.

 

As a side note, I'm not a vegan, I don't use family cloth, raise chickens, or hang all of our laundry to dry.  I do use cloth diapers but employ a local service to clean them.  I don't feel bad about any of this, it never occurred to me to approach this thread in the spirit of competition.  I love reading about what everyone else is doing and I hope that we can all get over ourselves enough to use this site as a source of inspiration and support.

 

*Edited to say: I realize that a description of my lifestyle is dangerously to sounding like an SNL sketch about hippie parents and I'm ok with that.

 


Edited by Gucci&Granola - 6/28/11 at 9:52am
post #150 of 218

I thought this thread started out great!  It's about what makes us unique as parents, not trying to one-up others.  I really don't think we'll all have the same definition of "crunchy" parents at all.  But I love the  game of figuring out what the word means to each of us.  Who said "crunchy" was better?  I guess I missed  that part of the post.

 

Anyway, if less offensive, I will say, "Here is what I think of as a crunchy parent, or the silly things I find myself doiing" rather than, "you know you're crunchy if..."

 

You find yourself making your own "get ready for baby" book for big sis because you can't find one that leaves out both  bottles AND diapers.

You cannot figure out where your daughter learned about Hannah Montana and Lady Gaga!

You google EC and are surprised to find a whole bunch of links about the European Commission instead of diaper free babies.

You keep having to remind yourself to expose your child to movies every now and then because you think it's good for her to have some idea of this phenomenon...but surprisingly not because she ever asks!  (I imagine that might come later:)

 

 

 

post #151 of 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gucci&Granola View Post

Wow, just wow.  I am really disheartened that a thread entitled "You Know You're a Crunchy Parent When"... dissolved into ridiculous negativity.  The thread was about what YOU (as an individual) do that sets you apart from the mainstream.  It did not say "I know" or "People Know" because it was about sharing your own experience, not casting judgment on others.  The part that I find most curious and upsetting is that people got defensive BEFORE there was anything to be defensive about.  There were absolutely no judgments passed initially, just a group of parents sharing anecdotes and personal practices.  This thread is a good example of what is happening to Mothering now that the original intention of the site is less clearly maintained.  I think discourse is healthy and beneficial.  However, a group of grown ups who cannot participate in a lighthearted thread about what sets them apart (whatever that may be) is a sad occurrence. 

 

The purpose of this website was to establish a place for like minded parents to come together and discuss natural family living.  Of course everyone does not adhere to every single practice or principle.  We do what works best for our own families given our own particular circumstances.  If being proud of natural birth, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, and gentle discipline is distasteful, perhaps this is the wrong site for you.

 

In the intended spirit of the post, I know I am a crunchy parent because:

 

  1. I have not been away from my daughter for more than 30 minutes since the day she was born almost 6 months ago.
  2. I have mastered the art of getting baby poo stains out of our diaper covers.
  3. Having a breast show in public as I struggle to feed a crying baby while grocery shopping/eating/returning library books no longer phases me.
  4. Our medicine cabinet is full of herbal tinctures and salves.
  5. My DH was afraid that his homemade deodorant would be a point of suspicion when going through customs.
  6. The co-sleeper crib that we purchased has only every been used to store throw pillows and the baby has slept with us from day one :)
  7. I don't own a stroller and have figured out how to nurse in both the baby carriers I own.

 

As a side note, I'm not a vegan, I don't use family cloth, raise chickens, or hang all of our laundry to dry.  I do use cloth diapers but employ a local service to clean them.  I don't feel bad about any of this, it never occurred to me to approach this thread in the spirit of competition.  I love reading about what everyone else is doing and I hope that we can all get over ourselves enough to use this site as a source of inspiration and support.

 


Yes!  All of that!  lol

I am vegan... but I have a stroller... and I still use Secret deodorant, because I'm stinky.  orngbiggrin.gif

 

post #152 of 218

I think of crunchy to mean one who prefers/does things naturally (part/some/most of the time) ... With that in mind I think a crunchy parent is one who tries to do these things: eating food as God made it, trusting your body to give birth in the way you were made to, using your breasts for what they were made for, choosing natural cleaning products for your home, choosing natural medicine, and using your instincts to guide you as you parent.

 

You might be a Crunchy Parent if.... Your baby prefers your finger to a pacifier.

Our baby loves daddy's finger. Mine not so much... We've tried a pacifier but she doesn't keep them in. My sister can get her to suck on one for a couple minutes, no luck with me. I find it okay though because then I have nothing to take away from her later.

 

I'd like to hear other people's crunchy parenting, it creates a sense of community among those of us who are sort of crunchy, which is why I like this website. The mainstream stuff is just that - mainstream - if I wanted to learn something mainstream I'd go to Parenting magazines website or something like that.

 

Hope everyone is having a beautiful day!treehugger.gif

 

 

 

 

post #153 of 218



I have been following this thread but not commenting as I'm new here and I absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt would fail miserably any natural parenting litmus test. I am not here to provoke anyone but forgive me I have some honest questions. If you believe so much in what you practice why would only want to share it with like minded people? I understand wanting a place for community but I would also expect a gentleness from this group. You are gentle with the earth, gentle with your children, why not be gentle with those different then you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post




You grew up in SOVIET Russia.  Your parents had no choices.  They didn't have the option of *not* doing the things they did.   In America, in 2011, we have a CHOICE to be AP or not.  The very existence of this forum is for LIKE-MINDED individuals to have a place to discuss things that are not even understood elsewhere by people who do things differently.  We will still raise children who end up drug addicts or in therapy or do something horrendous that we scratch our heads about.  But NFL and AP is a CHOICE and MDC should always be a place to discuss these things WITHOUT it being a pissing contest.

 



 

post #154 of 218


thank you baby jesus for that peanut butter sandwich!  you make em just the way i like em!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SunflowerRae View Post

I think of crunchy to mean one who prefers/does things naturally (part/some/most of the time) ... With that in mind I think a crunchy parent is one who tries to do these things: eating food as God made it,

post #155 of 218

I whole heartedly agree with you PeacemongerMom. Good critique. I hope to be one of those sort of crunchy people to bring gentleness to this group, as you can see I am new as well, and I have definitely seen my share of not nice things said here. As for being among like-minded people, it is a relief to know that how I feel and think is not that uncommon. I love to share my life and knowledge with those who are interested and want to know. My experience has taught me to only share with those who are genuinely interested and defend my right to choose how I live my life and raise my kid to those who attack it. It seems like some on this forum are here to attack or defend mainstream ways which the Mothering community is not all about - and I've only known about Mothering for less than a year. Take the good you get from everything and leave the rest, is my philosophy on these forums. If you have any questions, I'd be more than happy to answer :) Peace and Love to you!

post #156 of 218

jk sunflower rae....

peacemongermom.. you wandered into mdc at a time of internal turmoil.  people are having a hard time being gentle and lots of members are on edge.. check out the questions & suggestions forum for more info on why.

this can be-has been- a really good place to hang out and learn things and get real support.  no one is forcing anyone to measure up to some crunchy standard.. it's just that first of all, tone on teh intranetz is hard to read/convey, and some mamas are feeling judged by 'crunchier than thou' isms.  this thread kind of shows that. 

we're scaring all the n00bs, ya'll.  at least the sensitive non-trolly-and-i-don't-mean-cute-trolly ones.  can we all just take a breath and start being our best selves again?  me included... 

post #157 of 218

Well I came here for support and non-judgment. I do share my beliefs with the mainstream people BUT they mock, make fun of, and argue with everything I do/say. Unfortunately MDC is not what it used to be and it is self imploding as far as I can tell. It really stinks b/c it used to be a safe haven for like-minded mamas. This was the one place I didn't have to defend every parenting choice I make. I do agree we need to be gentle with each other and I try my best to be even in this turmoil. I will say though the post you commented on was in response to a very offending post.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by PeacemongerMom View Post



I have been following this thread but not commenting as I'm new here and I absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt would fail miserably any natural parenting litmus test. I am not here to provoke anyone but forgive me I have some honest questions. If you believe so much in what you practice why would only want to share it with like minded people? I understand wanting a place for community but I would also expect a gentleness from this group. You are gentle with the earth, gentle with your children, why not be gentle with those different then you?



 



 

post #158 of 218

Wow. 

 

The reason why I came to MDC originally was because I learned (out in the world) that we are quite extreme, didn't mean to be but we are.  I know that I have judged others mainly when I have been judged by them, which is not right.  I am grateful that I now bite my tongue when I want to educate others on the options that are available.  Since my kiddo was born, I have learned to just step down from my soap box and if I am asked, I will tell you all I know and have learned.  I have been grateful to learn from other mamas here.  I do the things I do because I have made those choices and cannot feel good about continuing old ways... moving forward, never straight. 

 

I do feel that as of late, these forums are not as naturally minded as I remember, really that is why I hardly ever post and I cannot stand that FB is now involved.  I embrace others that want to know this way of life but find that when the naturally minded folks around here post, they get trashed a bit. 

 

I have been completely humbled by learning how mamas who have had challenges in birth and not having the birth they wanted.  I feel bad about my past posts (at times).  Sometimes things just do not work out.  They did for my family, thankfully and maybe that is where my original thoughts came from. 

 

I do not feel the need to write a check list of what we do anymore.  Consciously I do what my heart and gut feel is right.  I am no where near perfect...  I have hangups that I am not proud of, don't we all?

 

In our little part of the world, I am considered a hippie, crunchy, etc...  I do not mind those tags at all.  But geez... I shave! 

 

 

post #159 of 218
Quote:

Originally Posted by SunflowerRae View Post

 

The mainstream stuff is just that - mainstream - if I wanted to learn something mainstream I'd go to Parenting magazines website or something like that.


clap.gif

 

post #160 of 218

I stopped reading on page 2.

 

I miss the old, old MDC where we could make fun of ourselves for doing crunchy stuff that probably seemed cray cray to us just a few years before. I always came here with the attitude of "take what fits and leave the rest". I always looked at posts that seemed over the top, rolled all of my thousand eyes, and moved on.

 

If this stuff bothers you, close the thread, move on. No one is forcing anyone to read.

 

 

SO, back to the OP: I'm not going to make a list of all my non-mainstream/crunchy ways, I'm going to list the things that I did that made me think, "How did the crunch get this far?"

 

I switched to Tom's peppermint toothpaste and everyone else in the house said, "Yuck!"

 

I stopped shaving my legs...in summer... in Florida... and I wasn't self conscious about it.

 

DD was still nursing at 1 and... 2... 3... 4... and 5. I never imagined going past teeth.

 

I tandem nursed a 4 year old (that was suppose to have weaned years ago, remember?) and a newborn.

 

I bought a second expensive, German wrap.

 

When I bought an expensive umbrella stroller.

 

When I worried about the hospital giving my son Tylenol... and we were there fighting cancer. (DH and I had a cathartic laugh about this one at about 2am that first awful week.)

 

 

(Just in case you did not feel the tone here, I'm making fun of myself.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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