Info meeting tonight!

[HeatherAtHome]

For fostering. We have no training, just this one, 3 hour long meeting (in french) where we can take notes during a powerpoint presentation and ask questions. I'm not totally bilingual (thought I do understand quite a bit) and I am SO NERVOUS!!!

I have been wanting to do this for so very long (4 years intense, 14 years of "this would be interesting"). It blows my mind that it's finally happening. I worry/wonder how much I'll understand. What if they don't like me? What if they DO like me? What am I getting into?!

I am a ball of energy. Butterflies in my stomach. Ready to jump off the edge of a cliff into the unknown. Being overly dramatic. ;) Wish me luck and by this time tomorrow I'll come back to dish the dirt. I've searched long and hard for info on fostering in Quebec so I'd like to record it somewhere in case others are interested!

[Polliwog]

Good luck. I can't imagine only having a three hour class (ours was 30) but it is what it is.

[Tjej]

I'm excited for you.  I am going to our local class next week - ours is about 30 hours as well.  I feel the same - excited and wondering if we do really know what we are getting ourselves into...

Tjej

[HeatherAtHome]

Ok, from all my online reading and research, I'd say that at first glance, we have a pretty decent system in place. They were honest about what we'd be getting into and didn't do a lot of sugarcoating (imo) but from the sounds of it, things seem to be in place if we need help, they said we're allowed to refuse any kid we want if we feel we can't deal with it, that it's good to set clear boundaries for us and the kids so that they're not moved a lot etc. One person left during the meeting, a lot of people where surprised by some of the info and DH said he learned a lot. 

The parents WOULD know where we live, look through our house to see where their kids are staying, come to pick them up for visits etc. They said it's very rare, but if the parents are angry/possibly dangerous then they'd keep that info confidential. If something happens where the parents won't bring the kids back after visits, are late, etc, there's supposed to be a number we can call 24/7 and they will deal with it. We don't get involved. We live in the country but have one nieghbour RIGHT beside us. Their house is 20 feet from ours. I'm feeling very grateful for that now! 

As for the age old money question, it also looks decent. We're taking in kids under 5 years old so I focused on the rates for that age but they go up per group. The basic rate is just under $25/day. They said this amount is to be used for household expenses like gas, groceries, heat, electricity etc. Then the kid gets $5/day which is JUST for them. For older kids this could be an allowance (which the kids should sign for, to show they received it), it covers clothes etc. It can be given daily, weekly or saved up to go buy a winter wardrobe etc. But we have to show receipts proving this amount was spent on the child and everything that was bought with this money moves on with them. The social worker said that after awhile the kids may not need much (younger) and that one family had $400 saved up when the kid was ready to go home so the foster parents asked the kid's parents if they needed anything so ended up buying furniture and stuff for the kid's bedroom at home. I thought that was a great idea! Also, babies get $2/day for formula and $2/day for diapers. If they're on a more expensive formula due to health reasons, you just hand in your receipts and get reimbursed for the exact amount. This is what I mean by them being decent. Assuming it's easy enough to do without a lot of running around. Special needs are another rate increase. 

I am relieved that they are so specific about the money. I feel like it's such a touchy subject and I'm glad that they have rules about where and how we're supposed to spend it. I know it sounds crazy but with the whole "they're doing it for the money" thing floating around, I feel anxious about where the line is, how much to spend on the kid vs how much towards bills that increase because they're in your home. I'm not saying we'll stick to JUST $5/day, but it's nice to have guidelines. 

To be honest, I wasn't expecting so much money. I'm sure there will be times where we're spending our own money on this (getting set up, any special events, outings etc sort of above and beyond the normal day to day stuff) but I'm relieved about it too. I've always made less than DH and now that I don't work at all, I would feel guilty if we were constantly going in the hole because we're following my dream. This is all my old baggage, DH is fine with it!

So all in all, a very informative meeting. The next step is to fill out an application form that they'll mail. Who knows when I'll get it though, what with the postal strikes going on!  

Quebec, Canada (added to have this post show up in searches!)

[purslaine]

Good luck, Heather.  Bonne chance.  

I do not think 2$ a day or 4$ for both will cover formula and diapers.  You might want to keep this in mind if it affects things.

[Polliwog]

Do you guys have Target up there? Their diapers and store brand formula are wonderful and much cheaper than the name brands.

If what you were told about everything is even 50% accurate, then you should be all right.

[Smithie]

I'm pretty sure that $4/day would cover the Costco brands of formula and diapers. I don't know what kinds of big-box stores they have in Quebec. 

That does all sound reasonable, although very very different from how they do things in my neck of the woods. Biofamily inspecting the foster home? Picking up their kids for unsupervised visits? Wow. But I'll bet it positively affects the reunification rate, to have that much responsibility/agency given to the biofamily as part of the initial case plan. Visitation around here is neutral-location and supervised, often right up until the court orders the children to be returned. Seems like a huge transition for an already fragile family unit. 

[HeatherAtHome]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle 

Good luck, Heather.  Bonne chance.  

I do not think 2$ a day or 4$ for both will cover formula and diapers.  You might want to keep this in mind if it affects things.

We can afford to spend above and beyond amounts given, I hope it didn't sound like we couldn't!  I just appreciate that they have an extra amount to help cover it. To be honest, the $25/day sounds quite high so diapers, formula, more clothes etc would come out of that amount obviously and then if that's still not enough, we'd of course use our own money. We're not loaded, but we have plenty of room in our budget. And we'll have even more once our house is "done" (this fall?)  and we're not constantly putting money into it. 

Another interesting tidbit about TPR:

apparently things used to drag out forever but since 2007 they've become more strict about it. (though still a bit flexible)

a decision has to be made after a child has been in care for 12 mths if the child is younger than 2 years

18 mths for 2-5 year olds

24 months for 6+

Assuming I understood this bit correctly, if I child is back and forth between home and fostercare, they count each month the child is in care, it isn't wiped clean if they go home. KWIM? So if they kid is in care 6 months, home for a bit, then back into care another 6 mths, they count it as 12mths. 

They also turned down the lights, had us close our eyes and read us a scenario (imagine if you're 7, you come home from school to find strangers in your house, ready to take you away, etc. There were more details). Then they asked us how we would feel.

Assuming they'll have us, I hope we'll make good fosterparents! It's a little bit scary thinking about all we'd have to deal with, what these kids have been through, will we be able to help them, opening our home to so many people, just putting EVERYTHING out there. They were very clear that we're opening ourselves up for public scrutiny, in the sense that so many people are allowed into your home life and how everyone will judge you (neighbours, strangers etc) because you're fosterperents. 

[HeatherAtHome]

Originally Posted by Smithie 

I'm pretty sure that $4/day would cover the Costco brands of formula and diapers. I don't know what kinds of big-box stores they have in Quebec. 

That does all sound reasonable, although very very different from how they do things in my neck of the woods. Biofamily inspecting the foster home? Picking up their kids for unsupervised visits? Wow. But I'll bet it positively affects the reunification rate, to have that much responsibility/agency given to the biofamily as part of the initial case plan. Visitation around here is neutral-location and supervised, often right up until the court orders the children to be returned. Seems like a huge transition for an already fragile family unit. 

I seem to recall them mentioning something about supervision so maybe it depends on what happened for the kids to be removed on whether they're picked up by parents or meeting at a third party location. But they were very clear about letting parents into the home, I know I didn't have that part wrong. Not that the bio family would be inspecting the home, just seeing it, knowing their kids are well taken care of etc. It makes me feel a little nervous. I would hope that visits/pickups could be arranged for when DH is home also and I think we'll have a chat with our neighbours, just to let them know what the situation is. They already know we want to foster, but I'd let them know when kids are in our home etc. DH works evenings so it makes me more nervous being home alone, out in the country at night!

As for stores, no target and I don't shop at Costco. My sister uses diapers and formula with her baby so I have a good idea on what to expect.  I think the cheapest of the cheap would be just about covered but I wouldn't go that low. 
 

[Polliwog]

I don't know the regulations in Canada, obviously, but in the US formula is very strictly regulated. The store brands have to meet some really stringent standards and aren't inferior at all.

$25 a day (plus allowance,) is a LOT. We don't get nearly that much and includes everything.

[HeatherAtHome]

I know. All said and done, if you have a younger child in diapers and needing formula, that's just about $1000/mth. It feels like too much... I purposely posted this info online because I had SUCH a hard time finding anything for Quebec. Now I almost feel bad for putting it out there. The screening process is pretty intense though so it should keep all the crazy people out. (I wonder if we'll get in?!)

Also, um, if I get pregnant along the way I'm supposed to let them know. I think it's a no-no. 

I know the cheaper formula is probably fine, I would just feel guilty buying it! 

[HeatherAtHome]

Whoops! 

[purslaine]

Originally Posted by HeatherAtHome 

Also, um, if I get pregnant along the way I'm supposed to let them know. I think it's a no-no. 

Hi Heather, 

I have no idea of your financial status.  I just wanted to let you know that based on what I know of Quebec prices (I lived there for a long time and visit regularly) $2 would not cover diapers. Aren't most brands around $20 per bag - which lasts about 1 week?  It has been a long time......  I have no idea of formula.  However, the 25 in general seems generous enough, so it should be OK.  I do hear you that you are willing to put in your own money too.

The pregnancy things is weird to me.  I admit I do not know much about it?  Why should that affect fostering?

[Polliwog]

$1000 a month? Prices must be a LOT higher there. I've bought diapers for all of my foster kids and have never spent more than about $30-$40. WIC pays for formula here but I did have to buy it for one of my foster kids and it was about $100/month (maybe a bit more.)

So many people that I know have used store brand formula. It's the same stuff. I've used Walmart's brand for one FD (that's what she came using) and both of my nephews have used Walmart or Target and are perfectly healthy and smart. But, if I was getting that much money per child, I might get a different brand too.

[Polliwog]

Never mind, I see what you're saying .LOL. Brain freeze for a minute.

[HeatherAtHome]

Ok, I spoke with the social worker Friday to clear up anything I didn't understand (the meeting was in french).

Supervised vs unsupervised visits. If the parents are "safe", if a decision has been made about kids going back home etc the visits are unsupervised and the parents would pick them up from our home. 

If a judge has been involved, if they're deciding whether the parents are "fit", or if the parents are a big "unknown" then the visits are supervised and held at their offices or in a neutral setting. The social worker will come to our home, pick up the kid(s) and bring them to the meeting. The parents DO NOT come to our home in this case. Visits could be 1/mth, biweekly, weekly or even multiple times a week, especially in the case of babies where they're trying to decide if the parents are fit. (So that the babies aren't living in care when they don't need to be or so that they can be moved to adoption sooner.)

If a kid is moved out of their school district they will probably change schools unless there's only a month or so of school left. In that case they pay someone to drive the kid back and forth each day. (In our area this could often be as much as an hour's drive each way so I really appreciate it!)

There is a training session that lasts 2 days. BUT it happens at some point throughout the year, it's not part of the process to become a fosterparent. 

As it is now, I'm waiting for an application to be mailed out. Who knows when that will be what with the lockout and then dealing with the backlog once they start delivering mail again. I rarely depend on the postal service for anything. The timing on this is crazy. 

Once they start checking us out (references, meetings, home study etc) we'll know within 2 months if we qualify. She was very encouraging and said that if at any point I'm sitting around wondering what's going on, not to hesitate, just give her a call and she'll give an idea of where they are in the process. She seems very nice and very professional. Kind but not too chummy, kwim? I'm not walking into this expecting it to be all rainbows and sunshine but so far I'm happily surprised with how things are set up. Maybe all those years of reading had set the bar pretty low!  ;)

[HeatherAtHome]

Originally Posted by Polliwog 

$1000 a month? Prices must be a LOT higher there. I've bought diapers for all of my foster kids and have never spent more than about $30-$40. WIC pays for formula here but I did have to buy it for one of my foster kids and it was about $100/month (maybe a bit more.)

So many people that I know have used store brand formula. It's the same stuff. I've used Walmart's brand for one FD (that's what she came using) and both of my nephews have used Walmart or Target and are perfectly healthy and smart. But, if I was getting that much money per child, I might get a different brand too.

Originally Posted by Polliwog 

Never mind, I see what you're saying .LOL. Brain freeze for a minute.

 No problem. I hear prices are higher here, but not by that much.