To all of my very helpful and loving family members:
Please STOP washing my diapers!
I know you want to help. I appreciate your desire to help. I would be delighted if you turned your helpful cleaning impulses towards nearly anything else in my filthy house. My windows, floors, t-shirts and children would all benefit from a good scrubbing.
But please, for the love of all that's holy,
leave the diapers alone!
Mom, I know you're concerned about your grandchildren's delicate bottoms, but fabric softener will Never Come Out of my diapers and they will never absorb anything again.
MIL, I know they're stained, but they're diapers. Poop stains are OK. Please, please, for heaven's sake, do not soak my brand new FuzziBunz in bleach!
Dad, thank you for wanting the diapers to smell nice, but that flowery-smelly laundry detergent gives me migraines and gives the babies rashes. Diapers don't HAVE to smell nice. They just have to be clean.
Everybody, just put the diapers in the pail and back away. I'll clean them. It's OK. You don't have to help with this one. My dishes, however, are all yours.