I had a very long and harrowing homebirth a year ago with my second child (he was 10 lbs, asynclitic, double-corded, and suffered a shoulder dystocia as he was being born that was very scary and resulted in the paramedics being called in). I suffered PTSD symptoms for months after the birth, but with a very supportive partner, I've been feeling much better and I feel like I've made my peace with what happened as much as I can.
My mother was not present at the birth, but was in the house taking care of my first child, and she was quite traumatized by the experience. Ever since she has been adamant that she does not want me to have any more children. In fact, she nearly fainted recently when she thought that my sister was about to announce that she was pregnant.
The thing is, at first I felt that I didn't want to have any more children either, but now my partner and I have been talking about it, and we would like to have a third child. I know it's our decision. But the hardest thing for me is thinking about telling my mom. I already feel so bad for causing her so much pain, and I can't imagine how difficult she would find it if I was pregnant again.
Is anyone else dealing with your loved ones' reactions to your traumatic birth experience?