My DH and I got married when my DD was 18 and DS was 15. This was 4 years ago. My kids really like my DH and DH loves the kids. The big picture doesn't seem to be the problem. It's the little day to day annoyances. My DD just moved back home because of lack of funds. She is due to graduate from college in December. She is now 22. DS is in college and still living at home. So basically we have 4 adults (plus the kid's friends in and out) living in one house. I feel really torn often. Just as some examples.....my kids don't like my husband's dog (with some good reason....he barks and can be difficult. but my husband loves this dog) and complain to me about the dog (like there is something I can do about it) I told DD before she moved back home, that this is part of the living here and i really didn't want to hear about it. she agreed....but has had to be reminded of that agreement. My husband gets annoyed about my daughter's bf being over as well as other things. He would never say anything to DD or DS or BF but complains to me. The things he is complaining about I don't feel are huge things and are just part of living with other people or dealing with teenagers and young adults. DH has no kids of his own and this is his first marriage. He is used to having things his way. Like I said, he would never tell the kids he was unhappy about something....he would only tell me. I want to make everyone happy. Most of the time it seems as everyone is....but with my husband especially, he seems to pick about the kids....probably because all of the annoyances get pent up as he doesn't feel the ability to voice them to the kids and they seem to get poured out on me. At times I then get defensive of my children like the mama bear.
I know that we only have a few more years until both kids are out on their own....but I'm concerned about these few more years and the impact they are having on DH and my relationship.
Any insight is appreciated.