Other kids constantly commenting on DS's (lack of) speech

[APToddlerMama]

DS is three years old and has some pretty significant speech and motor delays, though is making great progress.  Our house and yard are constantly filled with neighborhood kids, most of whom seem like they're being raised by wolves.  They have no manners and can be downright mean, but I feel sorry for most of them and they are so clearly starving for adult attention that we don't usually send them away.  More importantly in why we don't make them go home, DS loves playing with them and the interaction for the most part seems positive for him.  The problem is, several kids are frequently commenting on his speech skills negatively, in front of him.  The kids doing this are between 6 and 10 years old (some with their own seriously speech delays).  Some comments are more mild like "NO.  That's not how you say my name!  My name is xyz!"  "I can't understand you when you talk like that."  "NO.  That's not a wayne.  That's a TRAIN."  What really bugs me though is the two 10 year olds who are constantly harping on the "When is he going to talk normal?"  Why can't he say this?  Why can't he say that?  .... Why won't he talk like a regular three year old.  He's three now--he is supposed to be able to talk right...and on and on and on.  We've answered them nicely about 100 times and now I just want to tell them to shut up already.  With the older kids, I feel like they understand and just want to pick on someone.  DS is very aware of and sensitive about his speech.  He gets very easily frustrated and starts crying when others don't understand him immediately.  I am tired of him constantly having to hear the negativity because I don't know what the impact on him fully is.  Anyhow, please give me some ideas of what I can say/do with both the younger kids and the older kids.  I'm losing my patience with nicely explaining that "he''s younger than you.  he's still learning.  some kids learn at different paces, etc." 

[Linda on the move]

"You need to speak nicely to my son or you need to leave my house this minute."

They know what that means. They keep doing this nonsense because you are putting up with it. Draw some boundaries, and then stick with them. You aren't doing those kids any favors by allowing them to behave this way.

[APToddlerMama]

Linda I totally do agree with you but just don't know if I'd be overreacting.  I mean, with the 10 year olds, yes, I think it would be okay, but I guess even with them I look at them and think nobody has ever taught these kids how to be nice.  With the six year olds, I wonder if they really "get" it. Two of them have huge speech issues themselves.  I guess I have gone through it enough times with them though that they all should understand so maybe that is exactly what I'll say next time. 

[lindberg99]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move 

"You need to speak nicely to my son or you need to leave my house this minute."

They know what that means. They keep doing this nonsense because you are putting up with it. Draw some boundaries, and then stick with them. You aren't doing those kids any favors by allowing them to behave this way.

Yep. A few times of them getting asked to leave is going to have way more of an impact on them than all the talking in the world. You've given them more than enough chances, send them home next time. What if they were doing something like jumping on your couch (or  whatever bugs you) when they came over? Would you keep giving them chance after chance of explaining why you don't do that? Probably not, so don't give them more chances to be rude to your son.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by APToddlerMama 

Linda I totally do agree with you but just don't know if I'd be overreacting. 

I think it would be overreacting to let it get under your skin. There's no reason to be angry or upset at all. But their behavior is out of line and you are the only one who is going to teach them to act different.

It's not just your son that you are helping, but the other kids as well, and other children they come into contact with.

I think clear, decisive action is better than lots of talking. One warning, and they they are out the door for the rest of the day. It won't take long.

[APToddlerMama]

Thank you both!  Sometimes I guess I need a reality check on if I am being reasonable or if I am letting my overprotective mom feelings get out of whack.