Ped says I should let him cry :(

[JFTB1177]

My baby just had his 4 month appt today. My ped informed me he weighs as much as a 10-month-old (18.6 lbs). Yeah, he's chunky! She said she's not really worried about his weight since he's EBF. But she asked how often is he nursing and getting up at night, and I told her at least every 3 hours, and she said I shouldn't let him nurse whenever he wants, that I should let him cry! Well, sorry, that ain't happening!! I didn't tell her we are co-sleeping b/c I know she would prob lecture me about that as well as say that is another reason he's prob getting up so often.

Is getting up every 3 hours really abnormal for 4 months? I know he's getting up more than my 2nd baby did (my first baby slept through the night at 3 months, but he was FF). She said because he's so big he should be able to sleep a lot longer. What do you think?

[sparklefairy]

Nope, not uncommon.

My observation is that rapid growth in the early months is very common in babies who are exclusively breastfed. I've seen many get to 20-25 pounds by six months and then taper off dramatically (in gain, not necessarily in nursing frequency ).

I have no idea how often my kids woke at that age. I'm sure that it was probably at least 3-4 times in a 12 hours stretch, though

[motherhendoula]

Absolutely normal - you will probably see his weight increase for another month or two - until he learns to crawl - then you will see his weight stay steady.  Both my boys were nearly 20 lbs by 6 months  (one is now 13 and short for his age, a little pudgy - but better than most of the rest of his family!)   breastmilk is designed to pack the fat onto young babies, once they are mobile, they nurse less (there is more to do!)  and they burn it off.  I would just nod and smile at this pediatrician - then keep doing what your doing - your baby has such big soulful eyes!  how could you refuse him anything??? 

Nursing every three hours round the clock can be hard - im sure it will get better with time.  He may not always be getting up to eat, but to snuggle with you and know that you are there, theres nothing wrong with comfort nursing  - and by the way , my LO is not quite 10 months and i hes closer to 25 lbs.....what scrawny baby chart is she reading from? 

[Heba]

Oh my goodness, no it's not at all unusual.  Did she give any rationale - evidence-based or otherwise - for letting your little one cry?  Much as I hate to contradict HCPs, there is NO good reason to do so.  And, because he's so big he should be able to sleep longer?  Where's the evidence for that statement?  It's not like babies deliberately wake up at night.  If you're OK with feeding him every 3 hours or so, then your doctor shouldn't be coming anywhere near it.

Kelly Bonyata (IBCLC) has a great article on sleep which you might find helpful here: http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html 

xx

[Marissamom]

breastmilk is digested so much faster than formula, it's not uncommon for breasted babies to wake at night into the second, or even third, year. there is a huge misconception in our society that that the should, and some do, but most do not. I would either find a Pedi who actually knows what they are talking about, or take a lot of info with you to your next appointment. 

[PatioGardener]

Originally Posted by Heba 

Oh my goodness, no it's not at all unusual.  Did she give any rationale - evidence-based or otherwise - for letting your little one cry?  Much as I hate to contradict HCPs, there is NO good reason to do so.  And, because he's so big he should be able to sleep longer?  Where's the evidence for that statement?  It's not like babies deliberately wake up at night.  If you're OK with feeding him every 3 hours or so, then your doctor shouldn't be coming anywhere near it.

Exactly. Her advice goes against her own Medical Association's guidelines, which (no matter where you live, I bet) say Exclusively Breastfeed on Demand for the first 6 months.

Carry on, Mama! You know what your LO needs!

[HappyMonkey]

Just wanted to agree here.. my daughter had ROLLS everywhere at 6 months, and tapered off her gain at about 10 months. She's 17 months old now and the rolls are gone! She fed through the night until my milk dried up (I got pregnant and it lasted until 23 weeks).

I couldn't imagine saying no and letting her cry!

[anjsmama]

Yes - our pedi told me this too... only better... DD was only TWO months! She was 12 lb 5 oz, and because she was born 6 lb 8 oz, he said she was gaining entirely too fast to be healthy and that nursing every 2 hours or so was completely unnecessary. I asked him what I should do then, because my daughter screams when hungry (or needing comforted), and he said let her cry. Let my two month old infant scream. Thank God DH was there to do his smile-and-nod-and-ignore-you thing because I was FUMING. 

DD is 4.5 months, and we skipped the WBV because we moved. But she's somewhere in the 16-17lb range I believe (maybe bigger?) and yes, rolls galore. And her 6 month WBV is scheduled with her new, holistic, integrative pediatrician .

Hugs, mama! You're doing well for your babe.

[JFTB1177]

Thank you so much ladies! :) My ped was recommended to me by a few people from a natural birth/parenting listserve in my city. I switched to her because she is cool with selective and delayed vaccinations and generally more "crunchy" than other peds I have had in the past. So I was really surprised when she started trying to discourage me from nursing on demand, it was really disappointing. Not that I'll listen... I love BF on demand, even if it can be "inconvenient" at times and even if I am really tired from getting no sleep. I'M fine with him waking me up to nurse, I'M fine with nursing him whenever he needs/wants it- I just don't see the harm. She actually told me that I'm spoiling him and that he's acting like the boss, and that I need to take the control back!!  Sorry I just don't see how you can spoil a 4-month-old, you know? Ugh.

anjsmama- omg, your doc said let your 2-month-old cry??!!! Heba, thanks for the link!

Thank you so much everyone for all of your sweet comments and your support!

[ewe+lamb]

http://www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/cht_wfa_boys_p_0_6.pdf

This is the WHO weight chart for breastfed babies, it would be interesting if you brought this along with you to your next visit - if you go - of course, then you have to think about his birth weight and if he is on his curve from there - for me a breastfed baby cant be overweight at this stage - I'd keep doing what you're doing, a great job of mothering your baby!!  By the way 18.6lbs = 8.4kg - a great weight for his age and then you'll notice things tailing off as time goes by and he starts getting more active!

[Julbug]

I just took my baby to the dr for her 2-mo check-up and she was 13lbs, 7oz, after weighing less than 8 lbs at birth. The nurse did a double-take when she looked at the numbers. I was so proud! When my first daughter gained weight that fast I was shocked but now I know it's just normal for breastfed babies.

[MarineWife]

Sounds like the doc likes to give parenting advice of which she is not qualified. Pediatricians are not parenting experts. They are medical doctors trained in disease. Their purpose is to provide medical care to children, nothing more. I'd tell her I don't appreciate unsolicited parenting advice. If she skoffs, gets offended or doesn't stop, I'd look for another doctor.