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Scared and detached

post #1 of 8
6/13/11 at 6:04pm
Thread Starter 

I don't know if anyone else has experienced this but its really worrying me.  I found out I was pregnant about 2 weeks ago.  Since then, I've been scared and detached from the pregnancy experience.  It doesn't feel real or maybe it feels too real.  Maybe its the hormones.  Maybe its the fact that I've been feeling like crap with fatigue and morning sickness for the past 2 weeks.  All I know is that when I think of this precious life inside me, I feel a nauseating fear in the pit of my stomach.  The strange thing is that for the past year I've had baby fever.  I loved seeing babies, I was wishing to have another baby.  I would get all mush every time I saw baby stuff in the stores.  Everything was babies.  Those feelings just disappeared.  I don't know what happened.  I DO NOT want to feel this way during a pregnancy.  I feel bad for feeling this way and I really feel like I'm missing out on the deep connection and beauty of this experience that comes along with pregnancy.  Furthermore, since I'm so ridden with anxiety, I keep wondering what if this pregnancy doesn't make it.  Does my body have some kind of deeper knowledge of things to come and that's why I can't connect and feel so scared about it???  I don't know...  I'm just feeling so scared and bewildered about these feelings and I don't know why.  Is this normal?  

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post #2 of 8
6/13/11 at 6:24pm

I felt like this until maybe 6 months pregnant with DD. It was unplanned though so IDK if that had anything to do with it. Just try not to guilt yourself about it! I think it's totally normal.

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post #3 of 8
6/13/11 at 6:48pm
Thread Starter 

Thanks sosurreal09.  This was also unplanned up until the moment right before deal was sealed, then I was like, What the hell!  We want a baby anyway!  And then we allowed it to happen.  We've been wanting another child for a while now so I don't know what my deal is.  I'm not so much guilting myself as much as I am just sad that I'm not feeling positive and at ease with everything.  I want to be enjoying this time not fearful of it.

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post #4 of 8
6/13/11 at 8:21pm

Maybe try some meditation! Have you previously done Hypnobabies? The fear CD in the series could be helpful. Adding a new dependent being can be a lot to deal with. Sometimes the reality is just scary, especially in today's world. We want to start TTC and all we keep hearing is "you can't afford another baby!" Well money doesn't mean too much to us and I guess kids are expensive...but not in the baby years if you BF and CD...There are so many different angles to look at things YK?

 

Maybe if you do some heavy soul searching you can figure out what may have really triggered the fear. How is your relationship? Your other children? What about YOU? Maybe you just feel touched out from the other kids and you know what you are in for etc etc There are just so many things to consider YK?

 

Either way I still think it's normal and I would just try your best to stay focused on other things, before you know it the little one in there will be kicking and you will be able to bond.

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post #5 of 8
6/15/11 at 6:04am

I didn't really bond with my babies until I saw them/held them. It can be hard to bond with someone whom you can't see, someone who may be making your body feel pretty crappy at times too!

I would bet that when you see your baby, all the feelings that you are worried about NOT having will come flooding to you right away.  

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post #6 of 8
6/15/11 at 9:41am
Thread Starter 

Thanks Sosurreal.  

MoonWillow, I think the fact that I'm feeling pretty crappy might have something to do with it.  The rest might be being overwhelmed by all the changes that are unfolding - moving again, birthing plans, money issues, health issues...  and then the reality of another baby coming into our lives.  I think I'm having a hard time enjoying this time because I'm just overburdened by all the other stresses in my life.  I'm just waiting for something to let up so I can focus on this baby.

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post #7 of 8
6/15/11 at 10:21am

these are very normal and valid feelings especially for the first trimester. sometimes throughout the entire pregnancy. there are moms who don't feel real love for their newborns. all are ok! pregnancy and birth and new life are surreal. go easy on yourself and i bet your love and attachment will grow as your baby does.

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post #8 of 8
6/15/11 at 12:35pm
Thread Starter 

Thanks kawa kamuri.  I guess I gotta practice patience with this one. 

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