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What do you do that cancels our your NFL/AP/CRUNCHY/NON-Mainstream/MDCness? - Page 6

post #101 of 468

I'm eating ice cream with DD, watching Toy Story 3 and letting her play with her plastic toxic as hell toys right now....


and it is all that I ever dreamed it could bewinky.gif

post #102 of 468
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post

That is a perfect example of the kind of spankings that have people all hysterical on these boards about MDC not being inclusive.  This thread was meant to be a light hearted "we're not all perfect" place to share, not a place to get criticized. 


LOL this is true


Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post

I don't think anyone would say you post "so much"...you are a sneaky lady as I said before, you fly in and out real quick!


post #103 of 468
Originally Posted by Dr.Worm View Post

LOL this is true



Umm...meant to only quote the bottom one..but it is funny that even in this thread there is criticism.


post #104 of 468

Please let's not start a circ debate...I'm scared of those ladies!! hide.gif

post #105 of 468
Originally Posted by Dr.Worm View Post

Sorry I keep posting so much...another thing I do wrong lol....but what if we started a Finding Your Tribe thread for Middle-Roaders???

Started one! Hopefully it will help everyone feel welcome for who they are. MDC is not intended to be a crunchy contest. Everyone is welcome and if some of the forums on here influence and change ones lifestyle good, if not than good too. Moms just need to do what is right for their family and themselves.


post #106 of 468
Originally Posted by ~Charlie's~Angel~ View Post

 I did it to come clean that I dont fit in here, nor do I fit in on mainstream boards.  I dont fit in anywhere.  Im a giant hodgepodge of different parenting styles, and I wanted to FINALLY be able to say it here.  I have built up the courage to do so, and was creating a small space for other parents to do the same.  I have learned alot from this community, and am ever grateful for it.  But it also ticks me off that I might not belong here just because I dont conform to ALLL AP/NFL practises.  So where should I go?  Should I start my own forum?  WOOPS, that would require me to spend even MORE time at the computer.  Not very AP. 




But why would you say you don't belong here? Because other people have made comments that seem to imply as much? If YOU feel like you belong here, then you do. Why would you let someone else define who you are or where you belong? Nobody is 100% crunchy.

I let my kids watch disney movies and have plastic, noisy toys. No matter what anyone else says about it, I still belong here on MDC. I'm still AP, I'm still crunchy.

(You have to post within the TOS/UA, of course. So there are some things you can't post proudly about.)


post #107 of 468

We love Disney Movies.   Princess movies, toy story movies, fish movies all of it!!


I use paper plates for my daycare.

post #108 of 468

I remembered another one:



post #109 of 468

DD is 7 months old and I've already had to change so many of my "crunchy plans" to suit her.


- We don't co-sleep anymore. DD sleeps in her own room in a pack n' play. With the door closed.

- We use a baby monitor

- We use disposable diapers when traveling

- DD uses a pacifier to sleep

- We have a hand-me-down exersaucer and door-hanging jumper thing and she loves them!

- DD's favorite toy is a real TV remote control that we bought especially for her

- We use paper towels, toilet paper, tampons and sometimes paper plates

- We use chemical cleaners

- We use store-bought baby wipes

- We watch way too much TV (baby doesn't- yet)

- We have two cars and I shouldn't drive to work. The public transportation system is super easy, but I don't use it

- I had a homebirth but if we have a second child (doubtful) I will have an epidural in the hospital



Edited by Monarchgrrl - 6/14/11 at 1:28pm
post #110 of 468
Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood View Post

What about the very recent thread that compared formula feeding to child abuse? Strollers and "bucket seats" have been deemed abusive more times than I care to count. It seems if you're not carrying your children everywhere you're looked down on as some sort of lazy schlub who just refuses to go that extra mile. Don't even get me started on ultrasounds..ROTFLMAO.gif

See, I used a stroller with ds1, and use one now with ds2. I don't even understand why I wouldn't. I had 2 hospital births, and would have another one if I had to make the choice. I had 3 u/s with ds1, and 2 with ds2, and had one during my 3rd pg before we found out it was ectopic. I have never read any thread that made me feel "less than" because of those things. I might have read some posts criticizing those things, but I know why I do what I do, and I'm comfortable that my choices are good for my family. No amount of reading "ack! Strollers are child abuse!" (which I've never read) would make me think I was not AP, not crunchy, or not worthy of MDC. Why would I let a random poster on the internet define how I feel about me?

If I read an anti-stroller thread and think they make a good point, I might reconsider. But if I think it makes no sense at all, then I move on with my life, yk?



Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post

I agree...and I don't think people should have gotten so hysterical over "you might not be a mainstream parent if...your kids don't understand why their friends can't come over until 3pm".  I will never ever in a billion years homeschool, but it doesn't offend me that someone says homeschooling isn't mainstream.  It isn't.  And if that person thinks they're better than me, (which I didn't sense at all from that post), I don't care.  I am having a really hard time understanding why so many other people care and take everything as such an attack on them if they don't do the same thing. 

I read one page of that thread and had the same thought. Just because someone says they are crunchy because they use nutritional yeast doesn't mean that they think that you are NOT crunchy if you don't. Maybe they don't compost (I do). But then, they don't buy plastic toys (I do). But then I grow a garden (they don't). But they buy organic (I don't). See? You can't possibly make it a contest, because how could you ever define a "winner?" There are so many different decisions we all make.

I think there are certain things that are the basis of AP, but like someone said earlier, even Dr. Sears said that it's not a checklist, and there's obviously room for personal opinions and experiences. Personally, I DO think there are some basics that should be respected on MDC, because that's the rules they have decided to have for their board.



Originally Posted by jezebelle View Post


No one here is advocating anything against the TOS (at least that I have seen), so if you don't like the thread, how about you just stop reading it and let the rest of us get some things off our chests. 

Spanking and circ.

And I started reading this thread because I thought it would be fun. But after a few posts, when I noticed that people were apparently proud of doing things that are illegal or that are not allowed per the TOS, it stopped being fun.


Then I got to thinking about it, and I think it's sad that so many people think that silly things like strollers or eating sugar make them "less than." Less than what? Less than 100% crunchy (I doubt anyone is)? Less crunchy than someone else? (so what?) Less crunchy than they'd like to be? (that one would be the only one that matters).

post #111 of 468

There are a lot of things I do that are mentioned in this thread, but none of them cancels out my crunchiness. I'm only posting them because...I don't know. To show people that it doesn't matter if you're 100% or not, you can still feel like you belong at MDC.


Ds1 goes to public school, and we love it.

We don't eat organic.

I LOVE sugar, and so do my kids.

We'll get some vaxes.

Ds1 is (regrettably) circ'ed (ds2 is not).

I use a microwave.

We eat fast food sometimes.

We're not veg*n.

We have plastic toys galore.

My kids watch tv almost daily.

I love my stroller, and so have both of my kids.

I use bleach to clean sometimes.

I give my kids Tylenol if they are in pain.


Many more, but I have to go clean my house...before I go pick up my kid from public school.

post #112 of 468
Originally Posted by mamayogibear View Post

Started one! Hopefully it will help everyone feel welcome for who they are. MDC is not intended to be a crunchy contest. Everyone is welcome and if some of the forums on here influence and change ones lifestyle good, if not than good too. Moms just need to do what is right for their family and themselves.




post #113 of 468

I have been here 7 years and threads like these always pop up and they are always a drag, and here's my opinion why:


We all do what we think is best.  Sometimes we learn about something else, and it might make us feel bad, and then we might change what we do.  Or it might not make us feel bad, and we might continue with what we were doing.  These are our rights as human beings and they apply to everything, not just parenting.


That said, there are appropriate venues for everything, and we have to consider that before speaking.  For example:


-My father is conservative.  I am not.  I would be foolish to start a discussion of politics with him, b/c it will end in hurt feelings.  My father has a lot of other wonderful qualities, though, and we love to talk cooking and history.


-I have family members who are in 12-step programs.  They do not agree with everything in those programs, and yet they find them of great benefit.  It would be foolish for them to go to meetings and tell the whole meeting the parts they didn't agree with.  That's not what they're there for b/c it would be disruptice, and their areas of disagreement do not preclude them from participating.  In fact, 12-step programs have a wonderful saying: TAKE WHAT YOU LIKE, AND LEAVE THE REST.


-My sister circumcised her sons long before I even know about circumcision.  My sons are not circumcised.  We do not discuss this, but she was a great help to me with breastfeeding and cosleeping.  Neither of us feels a great need to have a fight about this.


MDC has a very clear purpose, and it needs to, b/c there are so many parenting forums out there, and the things that are normal here are super-weird anywhere else.  If you do something that is not generally accepted here, you are still welcome here, but you shouldn't look to this place for support of that particular thing.  We are not being callous when we say, "There are other forums for that," b/c there are no other forums for parents as "weird" as many people here.  MDC's purpose and orientation should not be interpreted as shaming, though individual people here may act like jerks at any point, and often do.  If your practices get challenged, here or anywhere, it is up to you to process the new information and decide if you're going to do anything about it.  There is no life guarantee that you will never be challenged.  Rather than nurse a list of resentments against people here who do things differently and are vocal about it, use that energy to either avoid the forum that "makes you" feel bad and/or actively explore those feelings.  In my experience, discomfort is a sure sign that I need to look at something inside myself.  There are many things I do that I would be able to list on a thread like this, but I feel no shame about them, and I won't list them here, b/c I think threads like this encourage a feeling of alienation and hostility which is anathema to the sense of community that is so wonderful about MDC.

post #114 of 468

I like that posting how you think this thread sucks just basically proves some of the points made here in this thread.

post #115 of 468
Originally Posted by Vermillion View Post

Ok, I'll play orngtongue.gif I'm usually a super perfect mom winky.gif lol.gif but pregnancy has made me a little lazy!!! Over the last few weeks of dealing with being tired and nauseous, I've totally let my son go to town on the xbox or the sims 3 so I can lay around and watch trash TV... Mob Wives, anyone?


As for food related stuff... well, let's just say that I have some cravings and my son has said to me a few times "I love you being pregnant! We get to eat all kinds of junk!" redface.gif

Oh, Mob Wives has me by the balls. I can't look away. I have a weird obsession with all the wives shows. So. Much. Drama.


Anyway, back to the regularly scheduled program.

post #116 of 468

I've had 4 hospital births and actually enjoy epidurals (when they work).

I'm making frozen pizzas for dinner tonight and they aren't organic or even claiming to be "natural."

We have way more plastic toys than wooden ones.

Our tv is on almost all day as background noise.

No babywearing here.  I tried a ring sling, but my baby almost fell out so obviously I wasn't doing that right.  I had a snugli too, but that just made me sweat like a pig.

I've stopped using my clothesline since we went through Lice Fest 2011.  I haven't missed it at all.  I will start back up using it once I'm not ginormously pregnant though I'm sure. 

post #117 of 468
Originally Posted by DevaMajka View Post


Spanking and circ.

And I started reading this thread because I thought it would be fun. But after a few posts, when I noticed that people were apparently proud of doing things that are illegal or that are not allowed per the TOS, it stopped being fun.


I am against spanking (hell, you were vocal in my spanking VS violence thread), and circ, and I was pretty nauseous when I read the carseat one, too.  However, I think that there is a difference between saying "I do this" and "people should do this."  It's a fine line, but admitting you do something is not the same as advocating it.  I eat tons of sugar, and I hate that I do this, and I would never "advocate" it, even though I will say that I enjoyed the chocolate covered peanuts I just ate.  There has been a moderator appearance in this thread, and if the moderator didn't feel that the thread deserved to be altered/locked, then I think this is a non-issue.  Not that these things happen, but that they were mentioned.  I am saying I think it didn't break TOS.  If people start telling me that spanking/circ/forward-facing carseats are good and I should switch to their side, I will be the first to report them, but for now I am just enjoying this thread, free from the pressures (real or imagined) that make us feel "less than."

post #118 of 468
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post




Dauphitte, have you seen some of the UC threads on here? I find it amusing you think MDC isn't crunchy enough at this point...


I had a UC Ldavis, lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Sorry, that cracked me up and I don't know why...............Um, but that is a very specific sub-board and if you don't want a UC, aren't going to have UC and don't like the idea of UC then you don't really ever have to read that board.....but I'm talking about the more common boards here on MDC where moms that are more middle of the road would have reason to hang out.  I don't really hang out on sub-boards that aren't pertaining to subjects that have to do directly with my life/interests.



post #119 of 468

I certainly didn't report anyone, that's not my style. I guess now that Op added MDCness to the title it would include circ I was just upset people see circ as being "not AP" b/c the two do not correlate.



post #120 of 468
Originally Posted by Dar View Post

On the other hand, Mothering isn't the be-all and end-all of my internet world. Its function is to be a place to discuss AP/NFL, and while sometimes other stuff comes up (news, baby names, all of TAO), I've never really thought of it as a place to talk about stuff that's directly opposed to AP/NFL. That would be like, say, going to a homeschooling board and wanting to talk about your kid's school, or vice versa. There's nothing wrong with either choice - school or homescholl - but the place seems wrong to me. That's not saying people should hide things - if someone on a homeschool board is asked how many kids she has, for example, she might say, 'Two, but only one is homeschooled' and that would be the end of it, unless she followed up with 'and I'm having trouble deciding whether I want to homeschool them both next year' or something.

So if I want to talk about other stuff, I go elsewhere, not because I feel judged about it here but because this isn't a board for that. When I want to talk about more AP/NFL stuff, I come here. It's worked well for me...




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