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What do you do that cancels our your NFL/AP/CRUNCHY/NON-Mainstream/MDCness? - Page 9

post #161 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post




of course you did.

 


ew, what in the world does that mean? 
 

 

post #162 of 468


I think you might have misunderstood why I posted that (and since posting in this medium is hard for me I want to say flat out that this is intended with all sincerity).  I was responding to something a pp said, I quoted it, too.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post




I've actually agreed with a lot of what you've said dauphinette, but if it seems like no moms are feeling bad about choices they've confessed, I think that is because you're right.  Nobody is feeling bad about any of the choices they've made and posted here.  Because--I am assuming, the choices have been made because it is what works for each of us.  It is more of a "I'm confessing that I am not actually perfect instead of hiding behind the facade that I believe in every single thing posted on MDC and also have the resources and energy to practice is."  I like this thread for that.  I don't want all of MDC to be one big confession of "it turns out I'm really not crunchy at all", though.  I still love MDC for what it stood for when I joined, but it is nice once in a while to admit we're all not perfect and not feel guilty about it.  We are all human after all.   
 

 



 

post #163 of 468



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post


 hiding behind the facade that I believe in every single thing posted on MDC and also have the resources and energy to practice is."  
 

 


This is interesting to me because it is very much a matter of your perspective and I would wonder why your perspective is so skewed in this regard?  Why would you ever think that any of the MDC moms are coming from such a ridiculous place and then still want to get advice from them?
 

 

post #164 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by jezebelle View Post

I am really learning a lot from this thread.  I had no idea that using toys was considered against natural parenting.  I guess they have to be made of wood?  Which kind of makes me wonder what people who are against plastic toys feed their babies with?  Wooden spoons?  Wooden bowls?  Do they all cook in wooden pots, too?  I'm not being sarcastic, I am genuinely intrigued by people that don't sit their babies in anything plastic all day.  I am kind of confused by some of it, but at least I have learned that these topics are touchy.  wink1.gif


 

i have to assume that you know plastic is a relatively new substance, right?  people do use regular metal spoons to feed babies, or finger tips, or wooden baby spoons and yes babies can live in a plastic free world pretty much just as easily as one with plastic and I am not saying this to be rude but to answer your question.
I like a blog called Soulemama for this sort of inspiration if you are genuinely interested.  She doesn't believe plastic has any place in her home but she makes it accessible instead of preachy.

 

post #165 of 468


Thank you, this is what I have been feeling and it is always true that others say it better than I do.

flowersforyou.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Viriditas View Post



 

I thought this thread was all about creating LESS snark and judgement on these boards.  This remark seems very uncalled for.  And although I've stayed out of this thread, I have to say that your original "Have you been to the UC forum (read: Hey, you haven't seen weird until you've seen all those crazy whackadoos over in the UC forum)" comment was pretty rude, too.

 

At first I was going to post on this thread about all the non-AP/NFL things I do, but it's getting pretty negative and super, super defensive, so I'm just going to stay out of it. 
 

 



 

post #166 of 468



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixMommaToTwo View Post

 

Also, so off topic, but how are wood toys greener? Don't they use trees to make them? No snark. Just an observation.


*My humble opinion (I say opnion because it unresearched) of the answer to this would be that people who gravitate to wooden toys might also be of the mindset of less is more so while yes, a wooden toy comes from wood which comes from a tree, the child would have FAR fewer toys in general and the amount of toys would be sustainable so the amount of wood used would make that alternative sustainable....* not intending to debate with this response in any way
 

 

post #167 of 468


I'm sure this will come as a surprise at this point but I just have to respectfully disagree with you.

I didn't come to this thread "trolling", I am just another MDC mom who thought the title was intriguing but after reading the first few entries I was turned off.  It didn't take much.  The disdain and snark from a few ladies in this thread seems to be oozing.  No one is forced to be here but some's perspectives about MDC seem to be so so negative and ugly I just kinda had to say something and it turned into a debate, no doubt.  But I think there are some real REAL issues from a group of ladies in this thread that kinda don't make sense to me.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jezebelle View Post





With all due respect, I think the rudeness and snark entered the thread about the same time people started coming in just to criticize it.  How is that constructive?  How is that positive?  I find it kind of hard to keep the frustration out of my (digital) voice, too, when people seem to be trolling threads looking for things to look down their noses at.  And my interpretation of the original comment on UC was that it doesn't get much more natural than UC.  Which I don't think the poster meant as a bad thing, just as one end of the spectrum, which is clearly represented here on MDC.  But, I am not the poster, so I can't be sure my interpretation is correct.

 

This thread would not have turned defensive if it hadn't first turned offensiveshrug.gif



 

post #168 of 468


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post




ew, what in the world does that mean? 
 

 



MOO but I think it meant that she wasn't surprised by that fact. That is as I said JMO and what I took from it. 



Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post



 


This is interesting to me because it is very much a matter of your perspective and I would wonder why your perspective is so skewed in this regard?  Why would you ever think that any of the MDC moms are coming from such a ridiculous place and then still want to get advice from them?
 

 


Nobody said that all MDC moms are coming from a ridiculous place, I think it's more of, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. 

 

post #169 of 468

Not everyone comes here just to give or get advice.  If that were the case there would be no place for topics like this one (or vents which are my favorite).  So being all up in arms about not looking for friends is all well and good...for you (PP whoeveryouare.  I'm too lazy to go back and find your post)...but many of us are looking for friends, or people to bond with over stuff.

 

BUT MDC does not just exist to provide support y'all.  It is (I hope) a place where discussion about parenting takes place.  Sometimes that leads to disagreement and that is a GOOD thing.  Support only threads are boring orngtongue.gif.  Toeing the party line can lead to some ridiculous oneupmanship.  Don't lie...you've seen it too.

 

So anyways here is my list:

 

I love coney dogs smothered in chili and onions. MMMM.

I was a vegetarian for 15 long years but gave up when I was pregnant and never looked back (see item one)

I don't think that being a SAHM is always a good thing.  In fact I think it can be very damaging to a woman's identity and career.

I will never homeschool

I love my stroller more than my ergo

I dye my hair

I can't wait for DS to be able to go to daycare/preschool

 

Sadly I think that is about all I've got as my choices are pretty crunchstream overall.  But I LOVE the impish motivation behind this thread and many of the responses to it have me wondering why MDC threads always have to be so freaking serious.

post #170 of 468



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Galatea View Post




Or, perhaps, there are people everywhere on the continuum who are just insecure, and who perceive anything different as a personal affront.  Those extreme viewpoints you listed are total strawmen and I have never seen anything of the type, but I have seen 1 zillion of these "I'm not crunchy" threads.  We need to go back to shutting them down b/c they are divisive, and rather than ameliorate mommy wars, they cause them.  What I see here is people complaining about a community which they willingly joined b/c that community is not entirely supportive of every single thing they have ever done.  There's TONS of things in my life that might fit on a thread like this, except I DON'T CARE.  I am here to learn and to help, not be validated.  I cannot learn by being in an echo chamber in which I only hear what I want to hear.  I cannot help by only stroking other people.  I agree with a PP that people need to put their big-girl panties on and conceive of the idea that different decisions are not personal affronts or attacks.  If a member here does behave so boorishly, then maybe it is about that person being a jerk, not about MDC being some horrible place.  I find it intensely... pointless... for people to join a community and then set themselves up as having a grievance against that community's very statement of purpose.  As we used to say in 8th grade, "Why be so ANTI?"

 



Omgosh I am so glad you said it and not me!!! blowkiss.gif  I think I love U

 

post #171 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post



 


*My humble opinion (I say opnion because it unresearched) of the answer to this would be that people who gravitate to wooden toys might also be of the mindset of less is more so while yes, a wooden toy comes from wood which comes from a tree, the child would have FAR fewer toys in general and the amount of toys would be sustainable so the amount of wood used would make that alternative sustainable....* not intending to debate with this response in any way
 

 


I don't know - I have seen some of the worst conspicuous consumption come from waldorf loving, sling wearing, cloth diaper-ers. 

 

post #172 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post




I don't know - I have seen some of the worst conspicuous consumption come from waldorf loving, sling wearing, cloth diaper-ers. 

 


Yes...a certain inventory of the nursery comes to mind.

 

post #173 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post

Not everyone comes here just to give or get advice.  If that were the case there would be no place for topics like this one (or vents which are my favorite).  So being all up in arms about not looking for friends is all well and good...for you (PP whoeveryouare.  I'm too lazy to go back and find your post)...but many of us are looking for friends, or people to bond with over stuff.

 

BUT MDC does not just exist to provide support y'all.  It is (I hope) a place where discussion about parenting takes place.  Sometimes that leads to disagreement and that is a GOOD thing.  Support only threads are boring orngtongue.gif.  Toeing the party line can lead to some ridiculous oneupmanship.  Don't lie...you've seen it too.

 

So anyways here is my list:

 

I love coney dogs smothered in chili and onions. MMMM.

I was a vegetarian for 15 long years but gave up when I was pregnant and never looked back (see item one)

I don't think that being a SAHM is always a good thing.  In fact I think it can be very damaging to a woman's identity and career.

I will never homeschool

I love my stroller more than my ergo

I dye my hair

I can't wait for DS to be able to go to daycare/preschool

 

Sadly I think that is about all I've got as my choices are pretty crunchstream overall.  But I LOVE the impish motivation behind this thread and many of the responses to it have me wondering why MDC threads always have to be so freaking serious.



I am definitely here looking for friends! By now as I'm pregnant with my fourth child I know it all and no longer need advice... moon.gifbiglaugh.gif No but really, I am mostly here to have good, adult conversation with other moms (and some dads!) whether that's advice or just pure silliness or even a good old fashioned debate...

 

My whole problem is when I come here and am scorned for silly things or shamed because I perhaps have left my child under two in the care of family members so I could do something frivolous like go out to eat or go to a movie...It'd be nice to not have the comments like "zomg, I could neva leave my child for a minute, they're only young once, it's just not worth it to me to leave them so I can go off and be selfish and uncaring, permanently damaging my child...but I mean, if that's what you want to do...*cough* bad mom *cough*" 

 

post #174 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by swede View Post




I don't know - I have seen some of the worst conspicuous consumption come from waldorf loving, sling wearing, cloth diaper-ers. 

 


ok.  I said specifically that I was not intending debate just offering an opinion on what I think the pp said was a genuine question.
 

 

post #175 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post




ok.  I said specifically that I was not intending debate just offering an opinion on what I think the pp said was a genuine question.
 

 


no problem.  just offering my own experiences.

 

post #176 of 468

I've enjoyed this thread, well maybe except for the parts that people are saying "oh, noes--this stuff is anti-MDC.  shut it down.  shut it down!"  (or words to that effect, or at least, that is how I'm reading it.)  It has really challenged my "picture" that I had in my head of different mamas here.  Some that I'd pictured as uber-NFL, crunchy-granola, picture-perfect AP, MDC mom--to realize that they are human, too.  We've all made different choices in our parenting journey.  We all do what works for us at the time with the knowledge and resources we have at the time.  

 

I'd love to buy and live in a Tiny House.  Yes, all 5 of us.  Homeschool my children--exact method to be determined.  Eat a natural/organic grain-free diet, growing our own vegetables, at least.  And buying our meat from a small farmer.    Have very little plastic in our home.  Recycle.  Not use disposable paper items (or at least very rarely).

 

However, I'm not at a point in my life that is feasible.  We have too much debt.  We have too much stuff, but are furiously decluttering.  We are considering home-school for next school year, but with all the options and choices, I can see us throwing our hands in the air and just sending the kids back to public school.  DH is not keen on the tiny house idea.  At least for our main residence, as a writer's hut, it is a great idea.  I cannot afford the natural/organic grain-free paleo-ish diet.  I'm still working on getting rid of artificial colors, as they make my children wacky.  If not for MDC, many of these ideas may have never crossed my knowledge.

 

I'd love to have a home-birth, possibly a UC.  However, I don't foresee having another baby.  And, DH is against out-of-hospital birthing (at least for me.).  I'm also teaching my daughters about these options, even if I did not choose them for myself.  What they choose to do with the information is up to them.

post #177 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood View Post





 

 

My whole problem is when I come here and am scorned for silly things or shamed because I perhaps have left my child under two in the care of family members so I could do something frivolous like go out to eat or go to a movie...It'd be nice to not have the comments like "zomg, I could neva leave my child for a minute, they're only young once, it's just not worth it to me to leave them so I can go off and be selfish and uncaring, permanently damaging my child...but I mean, if that's what you want to do...*cough* bad mom *cough*" 

 

 

Seriously, when does this happen?  How can I be here 7 years with 6600 posts and never see this sort of stuff?  And even if it did happen, who cares?  If it doesn't bother you, then why should it matter to you if it does bother someone else?  Does that judgmental person have the power to ban you?  Does their opinion of you make or break your day?

 

I think we also have to remember that everyone has their own most important cause that maybe brought them here, or they acquired here, and we should not be shocked when other people here don't share the same devotion.  That's why there are separate fora.  This thread actually overlaps with the equally pleasant "Which aspect of NFL/AP is most important?" also known as "If you had to circumcise or formula-feed, which would you choose?"  All these threads always go so well.  eyesroll.gif  So well, that we feel the need to repeat them every few months or so.

 

Seriously, folks, MDC is not a popularity contest, nor is it Survivor.  No one is voting you off based on your list of crunchy cred.  If you are tender about something you do, then don't share it online. 
 

 

post #178 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by Galatea View Post


That's why there are separate fora. 


love.gif

I love the fact you just used fora.  Seriously "forums" just makes me cold.gif.  Huge pet peeve of mine.

 

Sorry...carry on...

post #179 of 468

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by DirtyHippyMama View Post

using toys in general is certainly not against natural parenting.  some NFL mamas prefer to stick with natural material toys (perhaps for environmental reasons, anti-made-in-china reasons, waldorf philosophy, or aesthetic reasons)...


Don't get me wrong, I disdain BPA as much as the next dirty hippie, but if we are going to go all-natural here, what are we doing using a computer anyway?  duck.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Galatea View Post

I want people here to reconsider what they are doing in posting a list of "non-crunchy" things: they are feeding negative feelings in themselves and in others.  No matter what parenting philosophy one subscribes to, feeding negative things like unearned shame, discord, resentment and judgment is never a good idea.


That may be what you are doing.  What the rest of us are trying to do is feel a sense of companionship and support in our less-than-perfection.  And while I may not be proud of my specific shortcomings, I am proud that despite being imperfect, I keep trying.  I accept that about myself and others, and have no problem discussing it.  So I don't understand why, if you have a problem with the discussion, you keep coming back to it?

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post

I'm sure this will come as a surprise at this point but I just have to respectfully disagree with you.

I didn't come to this thread "trolling", I am just another MDC mom who thought the title was intriguing but after reading the first few entries I was turned off.  It didn't take much.  The disdain and snark from a few ladies in this thread seems to be oozing.  No one is forced to be here but some's perspectives about MDC seem to be so so negative and ugly I just kinda had to say something and it turned into a debate, no doubt.  But I think there are some real REAL issues from a group of ladies in this thread that kinda don't make sense to me.


 

To me, trolling is participating in a threat only to interject negativity.  If you feel this thread shouldn't be here, please flag it.  If not, why bother insulting us all?  I don't have a problem with MDC; as I said earlier, if I did, I wouldn't be here.  I have a problem with people who have a superiority complex and seem to feel it is their mission in life to "fix" my parenting.  I think that's the "disdain" you are seeing--it's not for the board itself, but for the overboard extremists on it.  I find it kind of insulting to say that just because we aren't trying to make the "crunchiest" board we can find "crunchier" we have "real issues."  When you don't have something nice to say, why say anything at all?

post #180 of 468

There sure is some weirdness going on here at MDC these days. How I see it- it was this AP "crunchy" board. Some people who don't agree with some of those types of things felt that this board was too rigid. And in general some people feel that some AP parents are too critical. So then people started expressing things that are not AP like for lack of better term. And elt liberated in doing so. But, now there are a whole lot of people on MDC who have different views on things than the original core theory of this forum. And now those things are infiltrating into the whole. But I think it feels unsettling. I understand why some people think people are too rigid. But this has moved beyond that- not this thread but this board, MDC. I mean- since the whole recent upheavel I now regularly see threads with long discussions involving spanking (such as- I spanked but what should I have done- which to me ( I haven't read that thread just the title) is a very uncomfortable thing to read about. Or threads about locking a toddler in her room at night. Or threads by people acting violently to theri children in some way (at least in the way I perceive it) and personally it makes me sad! I miss the moderation that happened to keep those types of things out. I don't have some conclusive point here. I understand how some peop[le want this to be a more inclusive and less exclusive type of forum. I do plenty of non perfect or whatever things, but I ultimately strive to be as gentle and loving of a parent as I can be, that is all. I mess up and  make mistakes and test limits of where my comfort lies. But I am just a little sad about a certain sense of gentleness and respect for certain peaceful values that I used to find on MDC. Now I feel like people are so concerned with letting everyone have a free voice and their own opionions that there is not as strong of a place here to promote and discuss some of the original core values that brought htis forum together. There are so very many new posters- I have noticed- people with 1,2,3, or 4 posts- writing about things that are sometimes uncomfortable to me- as I mentionmed examples above. And- I don't know. There is somehow not such a cohernet welcoming community on here right now as I used to find. I personally would like the old moderating system to return. I felt safer in that type of forum.

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