I do think there are different levels of "AP'ness" (I'm not wording that correctly at all, I'll try to explain.
There are some things that Mothering stands for, and is pretty unequivocal about it's stance- physical punishment is one, not using CIO is another, not circ'ing is another.
There are other things that are part of the AP continuum, but that aren't "necessary" if you get what I mean. Things like homeschooling (there is a forum for public schooling on MDC), cloth diapering (talk of sposies are ok), co-sleeping (you can sleep separately and not cio), and vaxing (there is a forum for people who choose to vax). Doing those things does NOT make you un-AP. They can exist within AP. AP is about how you relate to your kids, and treat your kids.
And then there are other things that are more NFL than AP, like eating organic and recycling. Doing those things don't make you un-AP, though they might have something to do with your NFL-ness. I don't know, because those things are barely on my radar.
And before anyone thinks that I'm all...whatever...thinking I'm better than anyone, I'm definitely not the "most AP of them all." Ds1 was circ'ed before I knew better, I spanked him (and regret it), he's happily in public school, and we'll get some vaxes.
The TOS of MDC says:
Mothering.com is the website of natural family living and advocates natural solutions to parenting challenges. We host discussion of nighttime parenting, loving discipline, gentle weaning, natural birth, homebirth, successful breastfeeding, alternative and complementary home remedies, informed consent and many other topics from a natural point of view. We are not interested, however, in hosting discussions that advocate crying it out, harsh sleep training, physical punishment, formula feeding, elective cesarean section, routine infant medical circumcision, or mandatory vaccinations as a parenting philosophy.
Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood
You may not care about those things but it is a big bone of contention around here, in general. In a recent thread formula feeding by choice was likened to child abuse.
ETA: I do think it's ill advised to forward face a ten month old...
Some people are extreme about the things that they are passionate about. It's easy on message boards to be "mean" to people and forget to care about their feelings, because you aren't looking straight at a person, kwim? It doesn't mean it's right, of course. And I think people make exaggerated comparisons to make a point. It seems to me, though, that their point is lost in the extremeness of it (like insinuating that formula feeding is abuse- that's not going to convert anyone, I don't think). As far as formula feeding goes, my feelings are "her body, her choice." I would hope that women would have enough information to make an informed decision (which I suppose would be leaning towards bf'ing as long as there is not a reason to the contrary).
Originally Posted by milletpuff
That's awesome that it doesn't make a difference to you. And not the norm here. It makes A LOT of difference to a lot of people if moms or dads here make different choices than the "standard" AP choices. I have found myself in tears on the regular while reading this board, feeling shamed about myself and my thoughts. About totally minor things too!
The thing is this though. You do what you do because it feels right, yes? If someone else says it's wrong, so what? You might think about it a bit, then come to a conclusion that either you need to change what you do, or that you are comfortable with what you are doing. If you are happy with what you are doing, then it's ok that some random person online says it's awful. kwim?
I've had people tell me (on other boards) that they were worried for my first son's wellbeing because I wasn't cio and spanking. I got mad at them for it, sure (and it still bothers me now, 6 years later. I thought I was friends with one woman in particular). But I still felt good about what I was doing, yk?