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What do you do that cancels our your NFL/AP/CRUNCHY/NON-Mainstream/MDCness? - Page 16

post #301 of 468



Over and over again?  I don't think you neeed to start lying to prove your point babe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post


Jaysus, Dauphinette loves the drama so much she has taken it upon herself to PM me over and over again calling me a troll

I called you a troll and you responded to me, after that it was just an exchange honey bun.  And a brief exchange at that.

post #302 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post





This is completely, OT, and relates only to me, but.....

 

My life is boring.  That I am not engaged in real drama in real life is a good thing, I know.  Maybe this is my outlet?  I do not want real people to get hurt by my words, though.....

 

I need to get a real life that is not dramatic but interesting so I do not waste time in online debates, lol.  

 

I am addicted to the friggin internet.  (hey - is that a mainstream or crunchy value? - we do share some common values, lol!)

 

Back to your regularly scheduelled program.

 

Kathy


I feel ya, My real life has a fair amount of drama in it though. Nothing terribly exciting but my nutty super bipolar MIL who we live with keeps things interesting.

 

Also Dauphinette, another long time poster mentioned this without exception almost all the really old time posters LOVE the new UA and are happy with the way things are now..

 

post #303 of 468



Bolded the best part.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post



Yes.  

 

I think there is a difference between snark and questioning/disagreeing.

 

I think disagreeing just to stir the pot is not a good idea.   I do get that some people really are sarcastic/like the humour of sarcasm - and it might have its place, but IMHO it is better when it is done by someone who is genuinely invested in the discussion.

 

I have no issue with disagreeing (except perhaps in support only posts/subforums).  Consider 3 examples from this thread - UC, car seats and circing.  People here have disagreed with other peoples POV on those topics and it is fine to state it as such.

 

Edited to add:  LDavis, I am on the fence if I like drama or not.  I like a certain amount of it, but there is a line where it gets to be too much.  I certainly seem drawn to it, lol. 
 

 

And I actually don't agree that I like drama.  I am just not afraid of being passionate about something I believe in and I going to say something if I feel like you're wrong.

 

 

post #304 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post



Over and over again?  I don't think you neeed to start lying to prove your point babe.

I called you a troll and you responded to me, after that it was just an exchange honey bun.  And a brief exchange at that.


3 times upsidedown.gif

 

post #305 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post



Bolded the best part.

And I actually don't agree that I like drama.  I am just not afraid of being passionate about something I believe in and I going to say something if I feel like you're wrong.

 

 


You don't like drama?!?! Ba ha ha! But you're calling people "honey bun"? Talk about talking out of two sides of your mouth.

 

post #306 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood View Post



When it goes back? You do realize that you're in the clear minority, right? (You must since you did post on the poll thread)

 

 

 

I realize that there are a lot of trolls here now and that the poll reflects that.  But I have faith that things will be sorted out, it may take awhile, but things will be sorted out.

 

 

post #307 of 468

enough random internet arguments for me, outside to play for the rest of the day! Woot to that!

 

dauphinette you came out of nowhere and threw yourself in with gusto, that is admirable! Just remember this isn't YOUR website and I think you won't be so bothered by everything thats happening.

post #308 of 468


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post

.  I come here for support on AP/NFL living.  For inspiration.  I don't want this forum to turn into what other forums are fine being.  I will gladly be warned, I will gladly go back to biting my tonue for the stricter moderation if it keeps this place sacred which is how I like it.  A sacred space for our best intentions and highest aspirations.  MDC should = AP/NFL strictly period IMO and I will take advantage of the new UA to be as verbal about this stance as I can be.


And, as I've said before, who gets to define this?    Is there going to be some kind of test at registration?   Who decides just how "strictly" things are defined?   WIll there continue to be a place here  for people who need to return to work and want to talk about daycare?   Will people have to take all mother-led weaning questions elsewhere?    Will there be anyplace to talk about how to achieve natural birth goals in a hospital setting, or how to make necessary c-sections as gentle as possible?

 

Or will anyone who doesn't live up to *your* best intentions and *your* definition of AP/NFL continue to be made to feel like they are not doing enough because they aren't doing every last thing on some idealized checklist?  Will women continue to start posts about nightweaning 3 years olds with apologies because they "know" that they "should" practice CLW?   Will women whose homebirth attempts end in transfers continue to feel like they have to skulk on for a two-line birth announcement before disappearing forever? 

post #309 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post




3 times upsidedown.gif

 


1 time, 2 responses ROTFLMAO.gifnamaste.gif 
 

 

post #310 of 468

I'm from the south and I like pet names, sue me Sheepish.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood View Post




You don't like drama?!?! Ba ha ha! But you're calling people "honey bun"? Talk about talking out of two sides of your mouth.

 



 

post #311 of 468

I have no idea what this means except the part about it not being my website and while that is true it isnt any of yours either.  I am a long time member who doesn't like the new tone.  Have a great day outside.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post

enough random internet arguments for me, outside to play for the rest of the day! Woot to that!

 

dauphinette you came out of nowhere and threw yourself in with gusto, that is admirable! Just remember this isn't YOUR website and I think you won't be so bothered by everything thats happening.



 

post #312 of 468

Why does MDC have to everything for any person who floats in?  Thats all I'm saying at the heart of it.  Why can't you get those other needs met somewhere that advocates those things?  Why can't MDC remain pure to the ideals of AP & NFL?  I think those idealogies have their own definitions so they don't need anyone to step out and redefine them, that work has already been done quite well.

I too have bigger things on the horizon today so on that note I think I will go brush my teeth....i'll let y'all speculate as to what with.



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by savithny View Post


 


And, as I've said before, who gets to define this?    Is there going to be some kind of test at registration?   Who decides just how "strictly" things are defined?   WIll there continue to be a place here  for people who need to return to work and want to talk about daycare?   Will people have to take all mother-led weaning questions elsewhere?    Will there be anyplace to talk about how to achieve natural birth goals in a hospital setting, or how to make necessary c-sections as gentle as possible?

 

Or will anyone who doesn't live up to *your* best intentions and *your* definition of AP/NFL continue to be made to feel like they are not doing enough because they aren't doing every last thing on some idealized checklist?  Will women continue to start posts about nightweaning 3 years olds with apologies because they "know" that they "should" practice CLW?   Will women whose homebirth attempts end in transfers continue to feel like they have to skulk on for a two-line birth announcement before disappearing forever? 



 

post #313 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by savithny View Post


 


And, as I've said before, who gets to define this?    Is there going to be some kind of test at registration?   Who decides just how "strictly" things are defined?   WIll there continue to be a place here  for people who need to return to work and want to talk about daycare?   Will people have to take all mother-led weaning questions elsewhere?    Will there be anyplace to talk about how to achieve natural birth goals in a hospital setting, or how to make necessary c-sections as gentle as possible?

 

Or will anyone who doesn't live up to *your* best intentions and *your* definition of AP/NFL continue to be made to feel like they are not doing enough because they aren't doing every last thing on some idealized checklist?  Will women continue to start posts about nightweaning 3 years olds with apologies because they "know" that they "should" practice CLW?   Will women whose homebirth attempts end in transfers continue to feel like they have to skulk on for a two-line birth announcement before disappearing forever? 


I gave your post a thumbs up, and I meant it, but maybe we can have both?

 

A place to go to for AP/NFL information and discussion, but also a place that recognises:

 

a)  sometimes people cannot have the AP/NFL life they dreamed of.   

b)  some aspects of AP/NFL do not appeal to everyone and as long as it is not harming their children ( and harm does not include:  oh that poor baby is in a stroller!) , that is absolutely fine

 

 

 

 

 

post #314 of 468


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post

Why does MDC have to everything for any person who floats in?  Thats all I'm saying at the heart of it.  Why can't you get those other needs met somewhere that advocates those things?  Why can't MDC remain pure to the ideals of AP & NFL?  I think those idealogies have their own definitions so they don't need anyone to step out and redefine them, that work has already been done quite well.

I too have bigger things on the horizon today so on that note I think I will go brush my teeth....i'll let y'all speculate as to what with.



 



 


People are whole beings.  I do not think MDC should become completely mainstream, but acknowledge the whole person.  I do not think MDC is only meant to inspire - it is meant to be a community - and I should feel comfortable posting about my crunchy and not-so-crunchy experiences.

 

I think one practical solution might be more "Support only" threads.  If the Op decides it is support only because that is what the OP needs then that should be honoured.  If the OP is game for debate, then leave off the "support only".  Sometimes I really only want to hear answers in the parameters outlined, sometimes I really do want discussion.  

 

 

 

 

post #315 of 468


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by savithny View Post


 


And, as I've said before, who gets to define this?    Is there going to be some kind of test at registration?   Who decides just how "strictly" things are defined?   WIll there continue to be a place here  for people who need to return to work and want to talk about daycare?   Will people have to take all mother-led weaning questions elsewhere?    Will there be anyplace to talk about how to achieve natural birth goals in a hospital setting, or how to make necessary c-sections as gentle as possible?

 

Or will anyone who doesn't live up to *your* best intentions and *your* definition of AP/NFL continue to be made to feel like they are not doing enough because they aren't doing every last thing on some idealized checklist?  Will women continue to start posts about nightweaning 3 years olds with apologies because they "know" that they "should" practice CLW?   Will women whose homebirth attempts end in transfers continue to feel like they have to skulk on for a two-line birth announcement before disappearing forever? 



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post

Why does MDC have to everything for any person who floats in?  Thats all I'm saying at the heart of it.  Why can't you get those other needs met somewhere that advocates those things?  Why can't MDC remain pure to the ideals of AP & NFL?  I think those idealogies have their own definitions so they don't need anyone to step out and redefine them, that work has already been done quite well.

I too have bigger things on the horizon today so on that note I think I will go brush my teeth....i'll let y'all speculate as to what with.



 



 


Because when you act all totalitarian about the ideals, your community is more like a cult than a healthy community? And 99% of the member feel like frauds in some way? And it encourages really silly "us vs them" mentalities over really petty things?

 

 

 

post #316 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamakay View Post


 



 




Because when you act all totalitarian about the ideals, your community is more like a cult than a healthy community? And 99% of the member feel like frauds in some way? And it encourages really silly "us vs them" mentalities over really petty things?

 

 

 

Yes!  Thank you!

 

Seeking purity in anything is not healthy nor is it conductive to real life.  Plus on a personal level it makes me grossedout.gif.

 

@Kathymuggle:  I think if a poster asks for support only that should be kept in mind when responding.  But I have also seen many threads like that in the past where the poster just wants people to agree with their (often very disturbing and damaging) choices.  So it has to be the call of the respondant I think.  I for one am not cool with telling someone it is ok to stay with her abusive husband "for the kids" even though they request support only to do that yk?

post #317 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl View Post



 

 

@Kathymuggle:  I think if a poster asks for support only that should be kept in mind when responding.  But I have also seen many threads like that in the past where the poster just wants people to agree with their (often very disturbing and damaging) choices.  So it has to be the call of the respondant I think.  I for one am not cool with telling someone it is ok to stay with her abusive husband "for the kids" even though they request support only to do that yk?


Yes.  Perhaps hard and fast rules are not the answer - and letting posters decide will ultimately be for the best.

 

It would be nice if every thread did not dissolve into arguements, though, between groups of people.   Maybe it will work itself out over time.

 

 

 

 

 

post #318 of 468


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post

Why does MDC have to everything for any person who floats in?  Thats all I'm saying at the heart of it.  Why can't you get those other needs met somewhere that advocates those things?  Why can't MDC remain pure to the ideals of AP & NFL?  I think those idealogies have their own definitions so they don't need anyone to step out and redefine them, that work has already been done quite well.

I too have bigger things on the horizon today so on that note I think I will go brush my teeth....i'll let y'all speculate as to what with.

 

 

So you're saying that ONLY people who buy the whole package as you define it should be here?   That even if on a mainstream board there's no place for support for mother-led weaning at 3 years old, a woman who does not want to wait until her child weans themself should not bother to join this community?

 

AP and NFL have their own definitions?   Who is defining them?   Dr. Sears?   Peggy?   You?   

 

The definitions out there are pretty basic, and open to wide variations in interpretation.   Is it more "natural" to subsist on coconut oil and pork fat or to live on almonds and brown rice?     Is it more "natural" to wean at the onset of a new pregnancy or to tandem?  Is it more "natural" to want a birth assistant or to want to be left alone?     Are you more 'attached' if you carry your baby on your back or push her in a stroller facing you so she can see your face at all times?  Does "gentle discipline" mean no hitting, or does it mean never allowing a child to experience disappointment? 

 

When do we have the referendum on what all these terms mean and what practices are required in order to consider yourself "natural" or "attached" or "gentle? 

 

post #319 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post

Why does MDC have to everything for any person who floats in?  Thats all I'm saying at the heart of it.  Why can't you get those other needs met somewhere that advocates those things?  Why can't MDC remain pure to the ideals of AP & NFL?  I think those idealogies have their own definitions so they don't need anyone to step out and redefine them, that work has already been done quite well.

I too have bigger things on the horizon today so on that note I think I will go brush my teeth....i'll let y'all speculate as to what with.



 



 

 

You are really into in-group out-group mentality aren't you?  Here is the deal:  I get to define if I belong here.  I do it by deciding if I feel comfy here, not by listing my choices and comparing them to some, apparently pre-existing AP checklist from on high.  You don't get a vote on who hangs out at MDC, nor should you be striving for such a disturbing selectionism IMO. 

 

I don't see how MDC is straying from their ideals by welcoming all people who need community from a great group of peeps.  As has been stated over and over in this discussion, people come clueless about what AP is, they stay for the community, and they LEARN.  Saying you only want people here with some sort of pre-existing crunch pedigree is anathema to the whole point of this community. Plus it shows a suprising lack of tolerance and patience with things outside of your little box.
 

 

post #320 of 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by savithny View Post


 

 

So you're saying that ONLY people who buy the whole package as you define it should be here?   That even if on a mainstream board there's no place for support for mother-led weaning at 3 years old, a woman who does not want to wait until her child weans themself should not bother to join this community?

 

AP and NFL have their own definitions?   Who is defining them?   Dr. Sears?   Peggy?   You?   

 

The definitions out there are pretty basic, and open to wide variations in interpretation.   Is it more "natural" to subsist on coconut oil and pork fat or to live on almonds and brown rice?     Is it more "natural" to wean at the onset of a new pregnancy or to tandem?  Is it more "natural" to want a birth assistant or to want to be left alone?     Are you more 'attached' if you carry your baby on your back or push her in a stroller facing you so she can see your face at all times?  Does "gentle discipline" mean no hitting, or does it mean never allowing a child to experience disappointment? 

 

When do we have the referendum on what all these terms mean and what practices are required in order to consider yourself "natural" or "attached" or "gentle? 

 


yeahthat.gif

 

That is exactly what I was referring to on the Questions & Suggestions subforum.  Who defines what is AP & NFL anyway?  You can never live up to the Supreme Mother Nature Goddess of MDC so exactly who is going to be posting here?  The answer:  NO ONE. 

 

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