I'm not sure I agree with the supposition that the correctly attached mother is an attached doormat. You really don't have to give up on your individuality to encourage attachment, or do gentle discipline, or promote natural family living...OK, I might be wrong about the NFL stuff, since I don't actually try to be natural, but I don't see why owning chickens or a compost heap or a worm bin would force you to always give your children your dessert.
I'm really happy, chaoticzenmom, that you aren't going to keep giving the kids your goodies, and that you're going to graduate school. It will be so good for your children to see you doing something for yourself, especially something that models life-long learning. I also wouldn't worry about the whole "favorite parent" thing.
I think of the not-yelling as a strategy to achieve my goal, which is a child who can do the things he needs to do in childhood and who will grow into a self-sufficient adult. The reason to do all the AP stuff--the family bed, the hugs and kisses, and so on--is that it should help my kid be a nicer person, both in the short and the long run. But that isn't going to mean I never reprimand him or that I do everything for him. If you're the mom of a boy, you have to be especially conscious of what it's going to mean for his development as a person if you let him walk all over you. Is that not really attachment parenting? Well, tough noogies then.
I have an 11 year old. I have loved him intensely from conception and put myself and my needs always below him and his. I'm starting to see now, how little it's actually done for our relationship. I've always done more for my children than I should, felt guilty about not doing enough, put myself last (with the exception of hiding out behind a locked door from time to time to gain some composure.) I find now that my kids expect little things from me that are disrespectful and I've always really enforced that (like giving them my dessert or gathering up their dirty dishes and laundry while they play video games) I think it's great to know your limits and do what you can, but take care of yourself as well as you take care of your children. It's really hard to balance that and I think it's great for you to acknowledge that you're doing it for you because you need it.
I'm really starting to take care of my own needs lately and it's very nice. I'm going to grad school (starts tonight!) just because I want to and it's just for me:) You know, I'm not even my kids favorite parent??? After all I've done for them.LOL