The "felt" experience of four children vs. three...

[starlein26]

I'm looking to hear from mothers who can honestly reflect on their experience with their children -AND- those who are a little more "type-A" if you will.  

Did you find that going from 3 to 4 children alleviated the "uneveness" of having three (are kids pairing up more nicely for play? less fighting or more?) or did it just get more chaotic?

Please give me bare bones honesty here...no stories about loving your fourth (that's obvious) and your fourth being the easiest baby or going from 3 to 4 is easier than going from 2 to 3 (unless you *truly* feel THAT good about it)...

[AngieB]

I would say I'm pretty type-A. I keep my house very organized and clean. I hate being late, try to be prepared for everything, etc... I have four kids 12, 10, 6 and 4 years old. Going fro 3 to 4 was hard and still is hard. I felt way more in control with 3 kids. I felt I was a better mother with 3 kids. I don't think they play better because there is an even number. everything seems to take more effort and planning.

Sorry to sound like such a downer. It's not terrible and most of the time I enjoy my life and my kids, but sometimes I don think about how much easier it would be if I had stopped at 3.

[SuburbanHippie]

Originally Posted by AngieB 

I would say I'm pretty type-A. I keep my house very organized and clean. I hate being late, try to be prepared for everything, etc... I have four kids 12, 10, 6 and 4 years old. Going fro 3 to 4 was hard and still is hard. I felt way more in control with 3 kids. I felt I was a better mother with 3 kids. I don't think they play better because there is an even number. everything seems to take more effort and planning.

I'm very type-A.  I have 2 girls and 2 boys (and one surprise on the way).  4 is not easier than 3.  It is harder because there are more people to fight with.  They don't pair off like you would think they would.  My oldest likes to be alone.  My 2 girls used to always pair off and that would tick off the youngest.  Now the two youngest tend to pair off more often, but they still fight all. the. time.  I often feel like I'm not a mom, but a referee. 

This probably wasn't the best day for me to answer this post.  First day of summer vacation and all.  lol.

[Lilymomma]

Adding my 4th was harder, for sure, but it wasn't any harder going from 1 to 3 (twins).  Mine are all very close in age (3,1,1 when my youngest was born).  Things that were harder- a double stroller was not even close to enough.  I used to use the double stroller for 1 twin plus baggage, then sling the other and walk with my oldest- NOW, I have 4 in cloth diapers, need at least 2 bags for a normal outing, always have one in the sling and no storage for my bags.  If someone needs a potty break or has an accident, it is just mad chaos.  My van is SO stuffed with carseats and crap, I have 3 cribs in my house (though there is a lot of co-sleeping still going on).  Now that there are 4, I can't get out of the house with less than 40 minutes of prep.  I probably sound a lot like debbie downer here, and it's NOT as hard as I am making it sound, but it is for sure a lot of work sometimes.  I will say though, now that my kids are a little older (4,2,2,almost 1), they DO play together great (with the expected bickering and fighting)!   I also believe that there is a 'herd effect' that happens wiht 4+ kids.  We have playdates and I babysit my 2 y/o nephew (and for a while we have a roomate with a 2 year old also), and it didn't seem like it was a big deal- things just flowed together, if that makes any sense. 

[beenmum]

It depends on the age gaps honestly.

My oldest and youngest are 10 year apart.

My middle two are 16.5 months apart.

The oldest/youngest never ever fight

My middle two dont stop fighting.