Getting rid of the paci

[Louisep]

I rue the day a friend gave my high needs baby a pacifier. Here we are at 2.5 years and he's completely attached. The only boundary he has is that he knows he can't have it outside the house. Car yes. Sleep yes. Upset (but at home) yes. Just hanging out at home, yes.

At this point even trying to minimize it to sleeping only is a major battle and I think we just need to get rid of it completely.

Any tips on how? The whole fairy thing won't fly with ds since he has no clue what fairies are. Potty books had no impact in the pottying area, but I have ordered a couple of giving up the paci books.

The "pacis are for babies" speech doesn't work.

I think it will have to be a cold turkey situation but I just don't know how to cope with the aftermath of tears.

He also has a collection of soft t-shirts of mine that he uses for comfort, pretty much in conjunction with the paci. So as soon as he sees a "soft" lying around, he asks for his paci. I'm not saying I want to get rid of his comfort softs, I don't, but I wonder if the connection between the two is going to make it harder?

Please help!

[hildare]

why are you so eager to eliminate it if it brings comfort and if it will be difficult to get rid of? 

[Louisep]

I want to get rid of it because 1) I have a baby due end of September and while I hope not to use a paci with #2, if we do end up using one and they're lying around the house, it will be very difficult to stop DS1 from picking them up and using them.

2) I admit to not being up on all the research but aren't there detrimental effects to pacifier use beyond the age of 2 (DS is 2.5) linked to speech disorders and teeth alignment? Like I said, I really haven't read up on it. I can tell you from experience, that when he has his paci in his mouth he does not communicate with us except for grunts. I don't think that's very positive.

[baglady]

Originally Posted by Louisep 

I want to get rid of it because 1) I have a baby due end of September and while I hope not to use a paci with #2, if we do end up using one and they're lying around the house, it will be very difficult to stop DS1 from picking them up and using them.

2) I admit to not being up on all the research but aren't there detrimental effects to pacifier use beyond the age of 2 (DS is 2.5) linked to speech disorders and teeth alignment? Like I said, I really haven't read up on it. I can tell you from experience, that when he has his paci in his mouth he does not communicate with us except for grunts. I don't think that's very positive.

I had the same thought just before my second child was born. My 2.5 year old is obsessed with the pacifier. I too started only allowing them in the house. I was unsuccessful in keeping them away from the new baby thanks to my DH, so I have no advice in that regard.
I did struggle with the idea of taking something of comfort away, and I actually think it helped with the post baby transition.

As far as the teeth... My pedi was constantly harping on getting rid of it because of teeth issues. I took him to the dentist a few weeks ago for the first time. The dentist was aware of the paci use because DS had a mild rash on the corner of his mouth from the paci. The dentist asked about the rash, but acted like the pacifier was no big deal. He said nothing about it being detrimental.

As for speech... I don't kow about any of the research, but my son was hard to understand with the paci. We started to say, "I can't understand you with the nuk in your mouth." now he automatically removes it when he speaks.

[lifeguard]

I have several friends with children who were crazy attached to their pacis.

One was able to trim the ends off until there was less & less to suck on.

Three were successful with setting a day (usually a special event) & have the child help them give the pacis away to other children/babies who needed them. One used Christmas (left them for Santa), another the Easter Bunny & I don't remember the last one.

One was successful by rewarding the child with something they REALLY wanted if she gave up the pacis. In this case she was 6 or 7 though & wanted her ears pierced.

[hildare]

hm.. like a pp said, it might help with the new baby transition.  and mama, i KNOW how being preggo can make you want to make plans like crazy, but it's going to be quite a long time before the new baby can reach out and grab a paci and put it in the mouth, maybe your little one will have given it up on his own by then? 

[MegEliz]

Well both of my kids were HUGE paci addicts. My DD we did the fairy thing and it worked like a charm. My DS like your had no interest in that. I have no idea if you have more than one paci you use but i would throw them all out but one - unbeknown to him - then magically tell him that you lost the other one after a week or so. It may sound harsh but it worked SO WELL with my ds - and he is a bit of a drama king - I think as parents we anticipate the worst and stress that they will be emotionally scared but really- it is just a pacifier and he will get over it unscathed :)

[Louisep]

Originally Posted by MegEliz 

Well both of my kids were HUGE paci addicts. My DD we did the fairy thing and it worked like a charm. My DS like your had no interest in that. I have no idea if you have more than one paci you use but i would throw them all out but one - unbeknown to him - then magically tell him that you lost the other one after a week or so. It may sound harsh but it worked SO WELL with my ds - and he is a bit of a drama king - I think as parents we anticipate the worst and stress that they will be emotionally scared but really- it is just a pacifier and he will get over it unscathed :)

How did your DS react - lots of crying and asking for it for a week? We've had a sudden going to the potty spell, so if that continues I guess I won't push the paci issue. You know how sometimes you just get a bee in your bonnet, and then the next week it's simply no longer a battle worth fighting?!

Thanks for the response.

 

[3xMama]

When it came time for my DD to give up paci's, we put them all into a big envelope and mailed them to the babies. She thought it was great fun to put them into the envelope and drop it off at the post office. I secretly kept one behind in case we ever needed it but nope! She had no problem with that. The only point we had a problem was when we were moving a few months later and she unearthed one from who knows where. We ended up using the "paci fairy" and giving her a dollar. She knew what the tooth fairy was and we just built on that idea. So you could introduce him to the tooth fairy via a tv show (if you're into that) and then mention to him about the paci fairy and let that idea grow.

You could also slowly cut other times he's allowed to have a paci down. Like not in the car. Then a month later something else. Etc. I have heard a lot of good things about cutting a small piece off the tip of the pacis and slowly whittling it down to nothing.

Good luck! I'm fighting the paci battle with my 18mo, so I feel ya!

[MegEliz]

Originally Posted by Louisep 

How did your DS react - lots of crying and asking for it for a week? We've had a sudden going to the potty spell, so if that continues I guess I won't push the paci issue. You know how sometimes you just get a bee in your bonnet, and then the next week it's simply no longer a battle worth fighting?!

Thanks for the response.

 

actually he did really well - we were SURPRISED! - The only time he would ask for it was at night but that lasted for two nights only. :) Good luck!!

[Katie T]

I tried many times with DD1 to get her to give up the paci. NOTHING worked. Finally I gave up. The day before she turned 4yo she decided she didn't want it any more. No tears.

DS I decided to let him do it himself. My dentist had said with dd1 that as long as it fell out of her mouth while she was asleep not to worry about it affecting her teeth or speech. (We made her take it out to talk.) Ds went from loving his binkie and needing it all.the.time to one day I told him to grab it off the floor for nap and he said he didn't want it. I blew it off thinking I would be running back to grab it but he went right to bed. That night for bedtime same thing happened. He never sucked it after that. 

DD2 had her thumb. Everyone said she would suck it forever. She stopped suddenly at 14 months.

DS teeth were slightly gaped at his bite but it resolved in less than a yr and now a yr later has perfect teeth and speech.

My point is follow your gut and honestly if you make them take it out to talk and if they drop it in their sleep it will be fine and they will get rid of it when they loose the strong desire to suck. That is a different age for every child. Even if there are other binkies laying around when they are done they will not care. Because THEY chose to be done with it. I hope that makes sense lol. Working on little sleep.