He showed up at our door without calling, wanting to take her out to lunch.

[lucifugous]

After maintaining some level of respect for boundaries, DD's dad just showed up today. We had a phone conversation that turned into an argument yesterday- I offered for him to take her on Friday if he wanted to (his next planned visit is an overnight next Sunday) and he ended up hurling insults and accusations at me, including denying his right to see her, not feeding her proper meals, partying when she's gone for the night, etc. Of course that's my side of the story... >shrug< In any case, we were near the window that faces the front sidewalk and I see him strolling along. WTF. So I go to the front door and of course she's all excited to see him. He claims he was in the neighborhood, just wants to take her to lunch, won't give a reason why he didn't call ahead, won't give a time more specific than "tomorrow" to drop something off he needs to give me and won't give it to me today, etc. I ran a quick errand on the corner and noticed they were eating outside at a restaurant super close to my house, just waved. When he brought her back, I told him not to come by without calling again, and he was just like, why? I told him, you had to know that was inappropriate, and he just does his infuriating "that's ridiculous" look and says, inappropriate, why?? It sucks that after I've felt good about really working with him, changing my work schedule around when he can do visits, etc., he doesn't actually appreciate or acknowledge this cooperation whatsoever, and now just randomly decides to be an asshole. I literally have ZERO money for legal representation, and we haven't been to court or set up anything official yet. Any advice on how to handle this unexpected visit and make sure it doesn't happen again without being overly threatening? We were literally about to leave the house, too, and are gone a lot- does he come by when we're not around???!?!?!

[StephandOwen]

There's no law against not opening the door when he knocks.

I would be cautious since you don't have anything in writing (right?) so he could just walk off with her whenever he wants. Likewise, if you deny him all visitation (without a good reason) then the Judge will likely rule in his favor.